Sunday, March 06, 2011

Truest statement of the week II

Jimmy: How could you be so irresponsible?

Virginia: We're responsible. We're also passionate and spontaneous.

Burt: Those would be our gladiator names if we were on American Gladiator. Which we still might do!

Virginia: Because we're spontaneous.

Jimmy: Okay, first of all, Gladiator sounds awesome. But no babies. One of you has to get fixed or spayed.

Burt: No way.

Virginia: You cannot decide that, Jimmy. That is a personal decision.

Burt: She's right. I think we should take a family vote. All those in favor of everyone keeping their original plumbing?

Virginia and Burt raise their hands.

Virginia: Sorry, Jimmy, you're out voted two to one.

Maw Maw: I vote with Jimmy!

Jimmy: Hold on! Two to two!

Burt: Only if she's lucid! She's only allowed to vote if she's lucid!

Virginia: Maw Maw, we are currently at war with what country?

Maw Maw: Iraq and Afghanistan.

Jimmy: Is she right?

Burt: I think so but I'm not sure.

Maw Maw: It's right, you morons. One more reason why you shouldn't have
another baby.

-- Raising Hope (Fox, Tuesday nights), "Snip, Snip," written by Mike Mariano. Virginia (Martha Plimpton) and Burt (Garret Dillahunt) have a pregnancy scare. When their adult son Jimmy (Lucas Neff) finds out, he holds a family meeting in the living room. Also present is Maw Maw (Cloris Leachman), Virginia's grandmother, who appears off in her own little world as she examined a remote control.
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