Sunday, October 06, 2013

Onomatopeia! Good God Mia!

Using our crystal ball and pendulum magic, we are able to predict a news story two weeks from now.  We thought about going with war or the economy.  But then decided we should be just as trashy as everyone else. 


Onomatopeia! Good God Mia!

by Ben Urich                                             October 23, 2013 | 4:38am



Photo: Amalgamated News of America

DEMENTED AND SAD, Conn. -- On the heels of her attention getting announcement at the start of the month that the late singer and actor Frank Sinatra might be the father of her son Ronan Farrow (born in 1987), actress and wig wearer Mia Farrow revealed today that she was also possibly the daughter of Frank Sinatra.

"Well," declared Ms. Farrow trying to look coquettish even at her advanced age, "my mother [the late actress Maureen O'Sullivan]  always said she thought Frank should have dated her.  So, who knows, maybe Frank Sinatra was really my daddy."

Which would mean Ms. Farrow married her own father.

"Well," said Ms. Farrow tossing her head to the side, "I believe it was Woody Allen who said, 'The heart wants what it wants.'  That's so true.  Especially if I was the original Soon-Yi.  Come home, Soon-Yi, Mommy understands!"

Asked if this latest revelation might cause her to lay low for the rest of the year, Ms. Farrow snorted, guffawed, panted and spat, "No, silly.  I have 12 more children whose paternity I intend to question publicly.  What good are props if you don't use them?  I need to work and I haven't had a job in over two years."


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