Sunday, July 14, 2013

You wouldn't do it to a dog


"We're really interested in our four-legged family members eating not just healthy but also home grown."

"That's not a problem here at Pet Love," Pet Expert Pete explained.  "We have many healthy choices for feeding.

"That makes us feel so good," the woman standing with the man said to Pete.

Pete smiled back, turned and waived to indicate they should follow.

"We've come a long way from the days of Purina dry chow,"  Pete said laughing causing the couple to grin at one another.

"Well, we lover the whole idea behind Pet Love," the man said.

"Don't you? Isn't it just an idea that seemed so obvious but we all overlooked it.  It is so important not to waste.

With that, Pete punched in a code on a key pad causing a large door to slide open.

As the three stepped inside the bright, glowing, large room, the woman said, "I like that it's so well lit.  It makes me feel that Pet Love has nothing to hide."

Pete led them from station to station, conducting a mini-tour that really couldn't be termed 'impromptu' since Pet Love employees conducted these tours several times a day.

"That's Gerald," Pete said pointing.  "He broke his leg before we got him.  We set it and were very careful about his diet to avoid bone spurs or other problems.  He's largely had a grain diet."

"And shots?" the man asked.  "What about shots?"

"Gerald hasn't had the need for shots.  At Pet Love, we believe that a little pain is part of life and we don't want to inject a lot of pain killers or other things."

"That seems a little cruel," said the woman.

"No, honey," the man said. "If you think about it, it makes a great deal of sense."

Pete nodded to the woman in agreement with her partner.

"Well . . ." the woman said slowly, "Gerald does seem happy, I guess."

Pete, "Yes, he does.  Who's the good boy, Gerald?  Who's the good boy?"

The woman still appeared unsure and was looking around at the various stations.  Pete noticed.

"If you see one you want," Pete said, still smiling, "just let us know. Otherwise, we'll match your profile and select one for you."

"I don't . . .  I'm not . . .,"  the woman fumbled.

"Hon, are you okay?" the man asked her.

She looked at him, then peered at Pete, "Really, are they happy?"

"They love this setting.  It's bright, like you pointed out, and they can see friends and be fed and, yes, they are happy."

"Well . . ."

"Hon, what's wrong?"

Looking at her partner, the woman nervously said, "I'm just not comfortable with our Fifi eating a living thing."

Pete grabbed the woman by the shoulders and pressed his face close to her own, "Look, green living is all about not wasting anything.  These strays get to serve a great purpose by becoming food.  I mean, what are you proposing as an alternative?  That we go back to using plastic bags?"

"No, no . . ." the woman said clearly distressed.

"Good.  So let's look around and see if we can find --"

"Gerald," the man said.  "Gerald will do."

"Alright, that's great, let me take you over to the cashier and we can get your rung up right away and figure out what cuts would be best for your pet."

As the man and Pete walked off, the woman stood staring worriedly at Gerald.

"Are you okay with this really?"  she asked him.

Gerald shook his head back and forth frantically.  But he could not speak.

The ball gag in his mouth -- in all the mouths of the homeless -- prevented speech.

As the  government repeatedly refused to address the homeless problem in the United States it grew and grew until President Richard Nixon IV Feed The Homeless proposal was warmly embraced.

It was a great relief to Nixon because he didn't want to have his limbs torn asunder -- as had been the fate of Richard Nixon III.  Even clones had feelings.  Hadn't the tears of President Barack Obama 2.5 demonstrated that?

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