Sunday, October 31, 2010

Worst stand-up video

"I don't mean to offend you but you look like Janeane Garofalo," offers Garofalo in an example of the type of insults she receives. What used to be a compliment is now a dig and if you doubt why, you haven't seen her latest attempt to eek out an income via If You Will: Live in Seattle. The soon to be co-star in another CBS spin-off crime drama hasn't just hit hard economic times, she's hit the comedy skids as she demonstrates -- not just those present at Moore Theatre but for anyone unfortunate enough to view this non-comedy performance.


The only film Garofalo ever co-carried was the charming Truth About Cats & Dogs whose big name star was Uma Thurman; however, for years and years, Janeane Garofalo has publicly trashed the film as not being very feminist. In the film, her roundish figured character ends up with Ben Chaplin after a Cyrano de Bergerac scheme between her and Uma's character. She ends up with Chaplin's character because he chooses her. Because of who and what she is. But to chip-on-her-shoulder Garofalo, this was anti-feminist.

Has she her own act?

Vaginal farts? That's what she's offering -- while criticizing morning drive dee jays? Endless remarks about how overweight she is and how everything's sagging? About how she watches porn but doesn't want to "do anything"? Her self-described "filthy" thoughts around male fire fighters? Her decision to stop having sex?

Despite the pain that she inflicted on Fiona Apple with her 90s routine -- and her claims that she felt so badly about it -- she's now trashing Jessica Alba in comments that can only be described as "catty." Her rather distrubing -- and apparently she's not noticing it -- desire for the virginal (her lengthy bit on Natalie Portman) may explain her sexual hang ups and certainly reinforces the worst images of women where "purity" is a woman's greatest accomplishment.

It's all about anti-woman stereotypes but because they're coming from her mouth, they're funny?

Here's what's funny, she goes to the effort of wearing Spanx (which she shows off repeatedly during the show) to pull the excess pounds in but is so stupid that she wears a shirt that, due to its shape, makes her look fat.

Here's what's funny, she apparently had something of a comedy tour and she chooses to tape (and release) the performance where her voice is shot and she doesn't even sound like Janeane Garofalo.

Here's what's funny, she wants to launch a holy tear for years against The Truth About Cats & Dogs but she's taking bows and glowing when her mentioning of her fourth-banana role on the torture-promoting 24 gets applause.

Most will check out before the crazy goes political. So they'll fail to note the homophobic undercurrents going through her entire act -- which is 'okay' because she repeatedly makes a pro-lesbian remark after her 'jokes'? She is and will be the teenager who said "no" to life. She finds time to laugh at the death of relatives and to trash her grandmother as racist.

"I don't have sex anymore with my boyfriend and we've been living together for ten years," she shares, repeatedly. If there's anything sadder than a sexually obsessed on the make person, it's a sexually obsessed prude.

Garofalo's peer group includes Ben Stiller and so many others who went on to fame. Janeane? She co-carried one good film (Truth About Cats & Dogs) which she went on to repeatedly trash. That's really it. A bunch of bit parts (Bye-Bye Love, Reality Bites, etc.) which are more infamous for inability to get along with her co-stars and the horrible reputation she earned on every set. Other people have careers. She's stil trying to start one. If any of that's confusing, check out If You Will: Live In Seattle and it will make perfect sense. You'll also grasp that a nasty drunk is nothing compared to a bitter addict who's constantly craving.

If you must check out the disaster, you can stream it online here if you have a Netflix membership.
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