Monday, December 31, 2018

10 Most Useless Talkers On TV


1) Rachel Maddow

As the saying goes, "Maddow owns this thread!"  You could watch fifty hours of her hideous MSNBC show and learn nothing except how cute she thinks she is (she's not cute).  Illustration is Isaiah's THE WORLD TODAY JUST NUTS "Hogwarts."

2) Sean Hannity

Sean's a lot like Rachel's drunken aunt.  Like Rachel, Sean finds himself endlessly amusing.  Like Rachel, Sean's not cute.

3) Amy Goodman

Her pinched face is matched with a sliding ethical scale that's allowed her to spend the last years promoting and egging on war.  She's the biggest disappointment to come out of Bay Shore, New York -- and, yes, we are aware it's also Judith Regan's hometown.

4) Christiane Amanpour

As ugly on the inside as she is on the out, Christiane never met a war she didn't want to egg on.  "Menace To Society" should be the name of her program.

5) Don Lemon

Shrill.  "Stooges" may be the kindest term ever applied to Don.  At least he'll always be able to agree with Bill O'Reilly, right?

6) Samantha Bee

It's not just that she's lazy (though there is that, new episodes of her talk show will start back up January 23rd, it last aired a new episode December 5th) there's also her annoying sing-song voice that wouldn't be attractive even on a woman who was still pre-menapausal.

7) Stephen Colbert

It's not just that he's so creepy, it's also that he can't shut up long enough to let a guest speak.

8) Conan O'Brien

The ravings of his lunatic celebrity friends convinced TBS they really had something with this show.  Which is why, in 2017, they renewed the show through 2022.  Then the ratings came in which led TBS to announce that the hour long show (that so few wanted to watch) was going to drop down to a thirty minute show.  They had to do something after he bled nearly 700,000 viewers from 2012 to 2015.

9) Jane Pauley

TODAY kicked her to the curb in 1989 so why are we stuck with her on CBS SUNDAY MORNING?  She is the equivalent of MUZAK and about as timely as yesterday's mashed potatoes and delivers such must avoid segments as interviews with Art Garfunkel and discussions on Laurel and Hardy.  She'd be the gal of the century . . . if this was 1929.

10) Bill Maher

Speaking of geezers, Bill Maher's done the same show since 1993 -- whether it's called REAL TIME or POLITICALLY INCORRECT.  It's tired and it's dated -- both the format and the host.

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