Tuesday, September 20, 2016

MEDIA: Fred Kaplan and other Scurrilous Whores

There's something especially scurrilous about a whore named Fred Kaplan.

He's whored so long and so devoutly, it's a real shame his desired reward will never come: TV fame.

When you've got no chin, a fat face, and sport what appears to be a Toni home perm, you're never going to make it on to TV.

Kappy first started humping the so-called 'intelligence' industry in college..  That's what led him to US House Rep. Les Aspin -- one of the Democrats worst pieces of elected Congressional trash up until Dianne Feinstein.  It's also what led him to loose lips Brooke Gladstone who has always been so good over the years about keeping tabs on other reporters.

Call her a one woman clearing house but show her sympathy, she has to crawl into bed with the whore named Fred.

And Fred's highly excitable.

In fact, he hasn't been so high strung since he feared Senator Pat Roberts was about to dismantle the CIA.

Abolish the CIA!!!!

Not while Fred had a mortgage to pay.

Today, Fred's back on the street, if not the beat, peddling it yet again for the so-called 'intelligence' community.

Fred's goal?

Paste a cum facial onto the film SNOWDEN and it's director Oliver Stone.


Fred fails at that assignment for a number of reasons including that he's working with tiny equipment.

Is it unfair to point out that when Fred saw SNOWDEN he was said to be repeatedly ogling "Joseph Gordon-Levitt's horse cock"?

This was repeated to us by someone who loathes -- despises 100% -- Whore Fred.

So maybe we shouldn't repeat it because you're not supposed to give anonymity to someone's enemy so that they can launch character attacks.

But isn't that just what Fred does in his latest whoring at SLATE?

Anonymous members of the 'intelligence' community disagree with the film and whistle-blower Ed Snowden -- big surprise.

The 'intelligence' community was breaking the law.

Ed Snowden exposed the government.

Only an idiot would take these same criminals to be impartial and trusted voices.

Fred gives them all the time in the world to trash Ed so we won't worry about repeating what one of his peers had to say about Fred.

Besides, if we hadn't heard the tale before seeing the film ourselves, we wouldn't have been clued in to the whole watch-it-wiggle-see-it-jiggle fun of Gordon-Levitt in loose fitting pants.

Fred spends the bulk of a column insisting that the biography of whistle-blower Ed Snowden, as portrayed in SNOWDEN, is incorrect.

Next up, Whore Fred tackles Kazan's EAST OF EDEN and reveals, shocker!, the film basically begins on page 450 of Steinbeck's novel.

Then he goes after LADY SINGS THE BLUES for the historical inaccuracies in the Motown  film starring Diana Ross in an Academy Award nominated performance.

It was Berry Gordy, a man with far more integrity than Kaplan, who once said, "The picture is honest but it's not necessarily true."

And that's the reality of feature films.

They're not documentaries.

We defended ZERO DARK THIRTY because it's a great film, yes.

But also because with a true story, you face limitations.

For screenwriter Mark Boal, he was limited by what was shared with him.

That's true of any film.

Oliver Stone (whom we know) met with Ed Snowden several times, he purchased the rights to Luke Harding's THE SNOWDEN FILES and Anatoly Kucherena's TIME OF THE OCTOPUS. He researched the published articles and spoke to a variety of players in the story.

That's not good enough for a whore like Kaplan.

"Officials have told me," the whore intones in one part of his dull, dull article.

Unnamed officials.

Unnamed officials in the "intelligence" community disagree with what the film SNOWDEN says happened.


There's a shocker.

That's about as shocking as Kaplan yet again whoring for the CIA.

It's been a long relationship for the two.

Kaplan goes on to attack this in the film and that in the film and some stuff really appears to have only played out in his head and missed the screen completely.

SNOWDEN is a piece of film making.

Images and music, editing and sound, all the things that add up to a visual experience -- that's SNOWDEN.

It's also a good film.

Fred Kaplan feels the relationship anchoring the film (Ed Snowden and Lindsay Mills) is "cliched."

We didn't find it cliched at all.

Now granted, she didn't put on a strap on and take him from behind.

But the film's entitled SNOWDEN, not KAPLAN.

What we expected from SNOWDEN was a riveting film and we weren't let down.

There's a scene, right before THE GUARDIAN starts publishing Ed's revelations about the US government spying on everyone, where Joely Richardson, playing GUARDIAN editor Janine Gibson, is explaining that everything's too technical and too jargon-laden so she's got to edit to make it understandable.

Glenn Greenwald (played by Zachary Quinto) insists the first article has to be about Verizon.

And that's a smart move because people understand Verizon.

People did not understand PRISM.

When we saw SNOWDEN, we spoke to 10 other adults at the screening about this point.

The film explains PRISM.

It needed a film to truly get that program across, it requires more than words on paper or words spoken on a public affairs program, it requires images and meanings and Oliver Stone supplies those.

The film seems to bother Kaplan most because it portrays Ed Snowden as a hero.

We happen to believe he is one.

But even so, what did Kaplan think he was going to get going into a film entitled SNOWDEN?

We like the film.

Is it perfect?


It seems to suggest that, outside of the initial classroom Ed's in, women are not involved in the 'intelligence' community (other than to operate a drone -- one woman  appears on a computer screen briefly).  This is not surprising, it's an Oliver Stone film.

And he has made a riveting film.

Fred Kaplan disagrees with that as well and writes:

Oliver Stone’s movie entertains no such notions, nor does it dabble in the slightest ambiguities about his hero’s nobility or the intelligence agencies’ evil. What about the movie as movie? It lacks the zest of JFK or Nixon (much less Born on the Fourth of July or Natural Born Killers). Half of the plot is a love story, about Snowden and his girlfriend Lindsay Mills (who now lives with him in Moscow), which might be fine, but the situations and dialogue are clich├ęd, and the two actors (Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who plays his part very convincingly and charmingly, and Shailene Woodley, who doesn’t) have no chemistry. The scenes at the CIA and NSA manage at once to be overblown and undramatic. It’s a bore.

If he'd stuck to reviewing the film, we might have been okay with him.

We disagree with what he says in that paragraph, but that's fine.

He's entitled to his opinion.

But he's not about expressing an opinion.

He's about destroying SNOWDEN, burying it.

This isn't surprising.

Glenda Jackson is a two-time Academy Award winning actress.

She's won one for a dramatic performance and one for a comedic performance.

But one of her comedic masterpieces was only released in August of 2014 after a long campaign to get it on DVD (it's still not on Blu Ray).

Let's be clear, Jane Fonda, in real time, talked about how great it was to do the 1977 film JULIA because she got to act opposite a woman (Vanessa Redgrave in an Academy Award winning performance) and how rare that was at that time.

The same year saw THE TURNING POINT starring Shirley MacLaine and Anne Bancroft.

More importantly, it saw a film starring Glenda Jackson.

And Melina Mercouri.

And Sandy Dennis.

And Geraldine Page.

And Anne Meara.

And Anne Jackson.

And Edith Evans.

Among others.

 NASTY HABITS is a satire of Watergate.

Pauline Kael (NEW YORKER) said in real time, "At its best -- high wit and inspired silliness -- it's a dream of a satire, reminiscent of Bea Lillie's brand of madness." Rex Reed (NEW YORK DAILY NEWS) called it "a bit of hilarious Heavenly Hash" but, more importantly, he noted: "The Catholic Church has gone up in smoke over NASTY HABITS, bringing pressure against THE NEW YORK TIMES to remove all ads showng nuns with concealed tape recorders under their habits."

There are always interested parties -- interested in suppressing films, discrediting them.


Whores pre-date Fred Kaplan.

And, goodness, did the whores turn out to slam THE CHINA SYNDROME -- unreal, not factual (did they forget it was a movie) -- and then Three Mile Island demonstrated just how accurate the film was.

In fact, there's a long, long history of institutions attempting to attack films to kill the message.

Kaplan knows all about that.

For example, he went after Brian De Palma's REDACTED -- see "Fred Kaplan falls off his pony."

He's fallen off again as he tries to dispute what a whistle-blower is or isn't -- and fails.

He fails repeatedly over and over.

But highly determined, he keeps jerking that tiny nub -- it's just nothing ever comes out.

He can't even convincingly fake a climax.


Ava and C.I. note: We're publishing this now.  It's Tuesday morning.  We wrote this Sunday.  Other content may or may not go up but this needed to be up Sunday and we're not waiting any longer.  Go see SNOWDEN, it's a great film.

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