Sunday, March 29, 2015

The tabloid future?

Consider the tabloid coverage of Barack today.

This led us to wonder what it might look like when he passes away.

Join us as we travel 20 years into the future to March 2017, days after Barack has passed away while hiking and tripping over his own ego.



Whether it was stealing away for some private time with Mexican President Enrique Pena Nieto, or stealing a kissfrom South Korea President Lee Myung-bak . . .


The late president's actions always raised eyebrows.

And now it can be told, Barack Obama was the first gay president of the United States (if you don't count Abe Lincoln).

Kai Penn (above) left a semi-successful acting career to be office equipment in . . . the Oval Office.

Says Penn in an Enquirer exclusive, "Our love was real.  We had something special.  He used to call himself Puss-Puss and call me Daddy F**k F**k.  He'd call me into the Oval and say, 'Puss-Puss needs it bad Daddy F**k F**k.  And we'd do it right on his desk."

'Body Man' Reggie Love was another of the president's secret lovers.  He tells The Enquirer, "We didn't have pet names but we had something better.  He told me he had a 's**t spot' and he'd tell me, 'Get in there and hit that s**t spot, Reggie, hit it good.'  And I would."

At least one man is known to have turned Obama down.

Former President Bill Clinton, reached while sailing on his yacht The Monkey Business II, stated, "Yeah, he offered himself to me.  He said he wanted to be my new Monica.  I was tempted.  Former president being sucked off by sitting president?  That's one for the history books, you know?  But when he wasn't wearing that lipstick, you could see that his lips were purple, like he wasn't getting enough oxygen.  And Slick Willie is big, we're talking huge.  I could see him choking on it and Al Sharpton screaming it was a hate crime so I took a pass."

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