Sunday, November 24, 2013

If Barack were gay . . .

If Barack were gay and out of the closet?  We'd get far less e-mails insisting the president sexually harassed Kal Penn.  (30 last week alone, all insisting we were part of a cover up by refusing to note this alleged harassment.)

We'd never heard the rumors that Barack sexually harassed Penn (or anyone else) and don't tend to believe them.

But the gay rumors have dogged Barack forever and a day.

Those rumors are many and include:

* He was sexually involved with his college roommate Mohammed Hasan Chandoo.

* He sought sex with men in a Chicago bathhouse.

* He was sexually involved with Larry Sinclair.

* He was sexually involved with Rahm Emanuel.

* Reggie Love really earned the title "body man" in his relationship with Barack.

* Kal Penn was Barack's Marilyn Monroe.

What do you say to all that?

How about if Kal Penn was Barack's Marilyn Monroe, goodness is Barack a low-rent JFK, a pale copy.

The president of the United States can't do better than a pudgy, failed actor who is not this century's Monroe but its Vampira?

Who could stomach the O-face above?

Kal Penn on the down low would not surprise us one bit but that Barack would get with that?

Talk about White House Down!  Talk about Olympus Has Fallen!

If Barack were to be involved with a man, we'd hope he'd have the taste and good fortune to be involved with someone who was actually sexy -- say Anderson Cooper, Jason Collins, BD Wong, Neil Patrick Harris, Dan Bucatinsky, Guillermo Diaz, Cheyenne Jackson,  Jai Rodriguez or, even better, he uses Air Force One to fly in George Michael and Ricky Martin on alternate weekends?

But Kal Penn?

What could be worse than sleeping with Kal Penn?

Barack being in a three-way with Leslie Jordan and Harvey Fierstein?

Actually, if Barack really were gay and trying to hide it, Kal Penn would be the best choice for a lover since the disgust factor would keep reporters from covering it.

One of the e-mails last week insisting we were part of the cover up ended declaring, "In 20 years, when it finally comes out, you and everyone else will have egg on your face!"

Actually, no.

Were Barack actually gay and to come out in twenty years, ten years, thirty years, tomorrow, the press would point to things like this.


Newsweek cover proclaiming "THE FIRST GAY PRESIDENT."  And they'd insist that little clues like that were always there if people just looked.

Like that cover . . . or this article.


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