Sunday, July 17, 2011

North Korea's secret weapon

Kim Jong-Il loved the talk of Barack Obama being born in Kenya and using an illegal Social Security number. The more the talk focused on the holy doofus, the less anyone paid attention to North Korea's finest achievement: The fembot Michelle Obama.

animatronic michelle

Kim's father, Kim Il-sung, had come up with the idea of a robot back in 1960 and the prototype was ready in 1963. Thanks to the American psychic Jeane Dixon's willingness to be paid in fruit -- and apples at that -- Kim Il-sung was able to know who would be First Lady in forty-four years.

Even more desperate for an apple pay-off was Robert Conrad who had just lost his job with the cancellation of the Hawaiian Eye and The Wild Wild West was a ways off. So Conrad dashed over to Chicago and snatched the newborn in January of 1964.

And robotic Michelle worked out just fine for years and years. In fact, the only hiccup came when CIA Director William Casey found out about the operation in 1984. But instead of attempting to halt the plan, Casey sold the whole scheme to Metromedia Productions which quickly developed it into the sitcom Small Wonder.

When Kim Il-sung died, Kim Jong-Il took over North Korea and the animatronic First Lady project. Now the family's plans would be implemented. Creating famine throughout the US via the White House garden's genetically modified seeds which would spread with the wind and leech the soil of all nutrients.

Let them keep talking about Barack, Kim Jong-Il thought laughing to himself, they'll never catch on to North Korea's tool of world domination. Apples, apples all around.
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