Sunday, May 06, 2007

Miss J/O America

missam

I'm 14 y.o./f/w. Blonde. :) Are you stroking? Kewl!! Would like to meet u. In real.

We're assuming that's about how the conversation started when Lauren Nelson, aka Miss America, decided to play perv buster. While we're the last to defend online predators (we've called them out -- even when it involved a certain 'hero' of many), we still think that there's something really sad about involving the Miss America T&A parade in it.


Andrew Gumbel (Independent of London) reports:

Lauren Nelson, the Miss America who went along with the scheme, insists she believes wholeheartedly in the cause of getting would-be sex offenders off the streets. But she was also marketed to death by Fox executives, who plainly saw the set-up's entertainment value every bit as much as its utility as a law-enforcement exercise.
"You've seen her in a bikini," read the teasing web page of the hit programme America's Most Wanted. "You've seen her in an evening gown. You've never seen her like this." As the programme documented, four men who came to meet her at a house on Long Island were arrested on the spot, with the cameras rolling. Seven other men who had exchanged explicit online messages with her were arrested a few days later.


The cattle show promotes itself this way: "'Miss America represents the highest ideals. She is a real combination of beauty, grace, and intelligence, artistic and refined." We're not seeing anything in there about getting guys off online.

If Nelson honestly believes in the issue of online predators, there are many ways for her to raise awareness of the issue. This wasn't one of them. Remembering that a Miss America was stripped of her title in the 80s due to photos she posed for before she won her title, we're really surprised that the prim prudes of the pageant have yet to issue a public rebuke to Nelson, let alone strip her of her title.

But we also believe this little stunt (a way for Nelson to raise her own profile -- no, none of us even knew her name before) really captures Bully Boy's America. Nelson is supposed to stand for many things (allegedly) and chooses to stain her tiara and the pageant's (not so) good name in a desperate bid for 15 more minutes of fame.

The pageant itself has become so low rated that it moved from broadcast to basic cable only to have CMT cut it off this year. We're not imagining that adults picturing Nelson online late night hours seeking out pervs is going to lead to a resurgence; however, it could lead to some interesting questions in the next round: "If you were taking part in a sting online, you would refer to your vagina as what?"


"World peace, Bob, world peace."

[A version of this ran in the print version last week because it didn't fit the theme and we couldn't upload the art. Wally and Cedric addressed this topic two Thursdays ago in "THIS JUST IN! BEAUTY CONTESTS GET SLEAZIER!" and "There she is, Miss America."]
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