Sunday, December 22, 2013

Kat's Korner: Beyonce the fake ass feminist

The review that says it all.

Kat's Korner: Beyonce -- the fake ass feminist who sells violence against women

Kat:  So Beyonce's the new face of feminism?

If true, great.  Feminism needs new faces.

But if false, then people need to be doing some critical thinking.

Last Friday, Beyonce Knowles' released her latest album Beyonce.

Listening, I just heard someone straining to be Donna Summer but lacking the range, the talent and the inspiration.  I heard tired hooks, recycled beats and, honestly, British dance music from three years ago.

But the 14-track album is said to be feminism matched with a beat.  If so, then this is a historic moment.

Beg my pardon?

I'm speaking of the fact that men are feminists and apparently proud ones.

See there are 14 songs and 32 songwriters.

Counting Beyonce?

Four are women.

Twenty-eight are men.

Let's hail these amazing 28 men who have worked so hard on these songs -- these feminist songs.

Beyonce is the only woman who works on all the songs.  The three other women?

They work on one song each.

Now Beyonce clearly writes songs because no artist ever puts his or her name to a song they didn't write.


Happens all the damn time with superstar acts.

Cyndi Lauper revolutionized "Girls Just Want To Have Fun."   She took a song about a man getting blow jobs and turned it instead into a feminist empowerment song.  She did tremendous re-working of that song.   But she's an artist so she didn't try to grab songwriting credit.  Madonna, by contrast, grabbed the pre-existing "Papa Don't Preach," changed the line "the baby will be alright" to "maybe we'll be alright" and called herself a co-songwriter of "Papa Don't Preach." I understand she also frequently does the crossword in the New York Times -- guess that  makes her a correspondent for the paper.

It happens all the time.

But let's pretend Beyonce's a songwriter -- and let's also pretend that, on "Drunk In Love," she's one of nine songwriters.  What Holland-Dozier Holland used to -- write hits -- is apparently much more complex these days and requires three times as many 'songwriters.'

So applaud those 28 men for their brave steps towards feminism.

I stopped counting producers of the tracks when I reached fifteen.  Beyonce is the only woman.

So let's applaud the at least 14 men that produced tracks on this album, feminist tracks on this feminist album.

So men did most of the songwriting and men did most of the producing, but it's a feminist statement?


Let's check in on "Drunk In Love."

She chants a lot -- a lot of dumb ass chants.

She's describing a lifestyle that Gwyneth Paltrow blogs about.

And then comes her crap ass husband Jay-Z with,  "I want to see all the s**t that I hurt."


That doesn't strike you as violent?

Well maybe this will.

In '97 I bite, 
I'm Ike Turner, turn up 
Baby know I don't play, now eat the cake, 
Anna Mae 
Said, "Eat the 
cake, Anna Mae!"

Right there, you stupid ass bitches praising this album off as feminism -- Kim Gandy, that shamefully includes you --  you bitches need to back your whorish asses up.

For those who don't know, "Anna Mae" is Tina Turner.

Ike is the terrorist who terrorized her, who attacked her, who beat her, who put her into hospitals.

And the last time he ever beat her?  They were headed out on the road, a concert  in Dallas.  They were in the limo,  Tina was in all white outfit and Ike was stoned on cocaine and demanding she eat some f**ked up  chocolate  he got from God knows where.

She said no.

That's when he beat for the last time.

Let's go to Tina's book, I, Tina:

By the time we got to the Hilton, the left side of my face was swollen out past my ear and blood was everywhere -- running out of my mouth, splattered all over my suit.  Ike used his usual story; said we'd had an accident.  The people at the Hilton looked at me and I could tell they were wondering how I'd ever get onstage that night looking the way I did, all beat-up and battered, with my one eye swollen almost shut.

That's what Beyonce and Jay-Z are pimping as sexy, a woman so beaten that her face is swollen beyond her ear, that blood is everywhere, that one eye is swollen shut.

Back to the book, Tina explains she waited for the terrorist to fall asleep to make her escape.

Then I got up, and I put a cape over my bloody clothes -- didn't even change them.  I had to leave my wig there because my head was too swollen to wear it, so I just tied one of these stretch wraps around my head.

No, Beyonce, you don't get to endorse that assault -- to claim that it's sexy! -- and also get to claim you're a feminist.

Cheap whores like Kim Gandy will rush to NPR to endorse you because, fact of the matter, stupid bitch Kim Gandy didn't listen to your damn album.  She just wants to get her name in the news and she desperately wants to be cool.

Kim's saying, "Please, God, I'm a short, ugly woman with coarse hair on my head that looks like pubes!  Please, let the cool kids want to sit with me!  I'll stab any woman in the back to be cool!  Please, God, let me be cool!"

Oh, Kim Gandy, haven't you disappointed feminism enough?

Beyonce's a cheap whore.

All she wants to do is move units and she'll lie and she'll whore to do it.

Like she uses women on stage.

Beyonce doesn't use women in the studio, but on stage, when she can get them to shake that ass, shake that ass, she'll stand alongside them and pretend like being a whore is feminism, that putting on a T&A show is feminism.

She'll want you to applaud her all woman touring band -- and their barely there outfits.

These women are used the same way the bimbos in Robert Palmer's "Addicted To Love," et al videos were. Beyonce's a cheap whore who markets faux empowerment to mask her limited musical talents.

And I'm real sorry for all the cry babies who are going to whine in e-mails, "Kat, that's too harsh!"

Here's my considered and calm reply: F**K YOU.

I hope that's clear enough.

Unlike Beyonce, I don't embrace men who beat women, I don't present that as socially acceptable.

I sure as hell don't F**K UP young girls' minds by letting them think men who beat women are just "drunk in love."

That is what she's doing.

Little girls will listen to this album and they'll think, "Oh, I want an Ike Turner of my own so I can be like Beyonce.  Anna Mae, eat the cake, eat the cake, eat the c-aaaaa-ke!!!!!!"

This is another boring album from Beyonce where she presents herself as a piece of ass to be grabbed and passed around.  Then, in real life, she whines when men in the audience grab her onstage -- as though she's not the one pimping the idea that she's there for the grabbing?

 "Will you watch me," she all but whimpers to a man who she's sitting on in "Rocket."  She's in his lap and stripping but trembling in fear that he might not watch her?

Well that's probably the only honest moment she has on the entire album.

What could panic a flasher more than the fear that no one will look when they pop open the raincoat?

As she pimps yet another album of alleged hot sex songs, I get it.

I get that the whispers that Jay-Z's a "co**sucker" just  keep growing.  And that everyone speculates Beyonce's really a lesbian.

So she puts out this album hoping to convince the world that she and her husband have a hot-hot-hot sex life.  It's sort of the audio equivalent of Richard Gere and Cindy Crawford proclaiming in a newspaper ad, "We got married because we love each other and we decided to make a life together.  We are heterosexual . . ."

It's why, when asked by British Vogue if she was a feminist, Beyonce allowed that "I do believe in equality" before rushing to insist, "But I'm happily married, I love my husband."

Yeah, make sure you reject those lesbian rumors!  Don't want to claim feminism, somebody might think you're gay!!!!!!!

She lives in a sexual panic.

As does Jay-Z.  I mean, there's a word for little boys like Jay-Z who think pushing the panties to the side is the end-all of 'macho' or 'manly.'  That words starts with a p.  And  most men would just rip panties off if they were attempting to imply that they were so consumed with passion that they just couldn't wait.  Sliding it over is sort of weak ass and, let's be honest, any man I've ever been with who just slid them over had a very thin penis. Like a pencil.

Beyonce, watch this.  I don't consider "co**sucker" a bad word.

If someone calls me a "co**sucker," I say, "Damn right and  a damn good one."

Because it's true.  I am good at it and I certainly put in the time to hone my mad skills.

See people can talk about sex, even graphically.

And I have and I do suck c**k.

And I can get really explicit on that topic.

But I never, ever imply that a man beating up a woman is sexy or a sexual act.

And I guess that's where I draw the line between feminist and fake ass feminist.

I've never watched Duck Dynasty -- I hope I got the name right.  But how telling that homophobic statements get called out (one of the 'stars' of that show expressed his hatred towards gay people and got put on suspension) but Beyonce can promote violence against women on her new album and no one wants to take it seriously -- not NPR, hell, not even Ms. magazine which ran this stupid post insisting Beyonce is a feminist.

Betty's "Missing FSRN, not feeling it for Beyonce" last night led me to download the album thinking, "This is probably something I need to weigh in on."  I feel dirty for giving money to Beyonce and her promotion of violence against women.  So I donated today to RAINN and, the good news there, through December 31st, all donations you make will be matched.

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