Saint Maria de Lourdes

Soon-Yi Previn spoke to NEW YORK magazine.  She told her truth.  The result was predictable as White privelige activist Dylan Farrow began having yet another Twitter meltdown.  We need to believe all victims, fat assed, yellow teethed Dylan insists . . . unless it's her brother Moses talking about Mia Farrow abusing him.  We need to trust all women . . . unless it's her sister Soon-Yi speaking.

Soon-Yi told her truth.  White Ronan and White Dylan Farrow don't like it.  Too bad.  Dylan doesn't know what Mia did to Soon-Yi and needs to learn to shut her damn mouth.  Dylan's a little liar who, from photos alone, appears to smell of urine.  She should focus on that.

Let's focus on something else.  Let's call it a novelization.

Cass couldn't stand Maria de Lourdes, calling her a groupie but allowing that at least groupies did what they did for fun.  Maria was a predator.  Maria only wanted a man if doing so would inflict harm on someone -- say her husband Frank or anyone she pretended to be friends with.

Friends . . .

The little roach.  Cass called the woman that as did Natalie.  The little roach "about as smart as her family was artistic" meaning zero, Cass would snort.

Natalie couldn't stand the roach but couldn't stand Maria de Lourdes even more.  It wasn't in her constitution to stomach liars and Maria de Lourdes lied constantly.  "If she just delivers a 'Nice to see you'," Natalie would say, "you know there are probably three lies in those four little words."

And that's how many felt about Maria de Lourdes.

Saint Maria de Lourdes.

You do know that she cured herself of polio -- to hear her tell it.

And there were many mini-miracles that followed.  But her next major miracle?

Curing one of her twins of autism.  She did many things.  In fact, if she was drinking, she did many, many things to cure him.

"Did she say she scratched him hard on his penis?" asked Natalie after we had bumped into a drunken Maria de Lourdes at a party where Maria was trying desperately to fit in but only making the guy who brought her as a plus-one regret his decision.

We had to have misunderstood her, right?

But she did talk about how she'd beaten him.  She was drunk, yes.  But she was specific.  He'd go into one of his "fits" -- as she called it -- and start hollering and she'd beat him.

Such a saint.

If it wasn't just the booze talking, it would certainly explain why, in later life, multiple children would speak of how, when Mama Maria had been displeased by their actions, she would beat them.

It was God talking through her -- that's how she'd described it when she was drunk and going on about how she'd cured her son of autism.

He was never diagnosed with autism.  And she was the one -- not her then husband -- who insisted he was a problem.  But Saint Maria de Lourdes had cured him -- God had spoken through her.

Strange, isn't it, how when the second marriage broke up, her soon to be ex-husband refused to let her take the boy to America?

"One day," Natalie offered, "she's going to write a book and the world will need two additional books just to cover what she lied about -- in words and in omission."

Sure enough, Saint Maria de Lourdes wrote a book and it was a curious book -- leaving out all the cheating she did in her first marriage, leaving out the wife of her second husband -- this despite the fact that AP reported (October 14, 1969) Saint Maria was expecting a baby (actually, as it turned out, babies) and, in the same article, noted that she wasn't married in part because the father of the baby was still married to another woman.  Even REUTERS, speaking to the press agent Wendy Hanson on the same day, noted that the father-to-be was still married.  The twins were born February 26, 1970.  Two months later, April 6, 1970, Bob Thomas reported for AP that Saint Maria de Lourdes still didn't have a new husband because the man was still married to his wife.  Of the actual wife, Bob wrote, "She seems to be recovering from the affair that made her the third person in the film world's most recent scandal."  Saint Maria de Lourdes would finally walk down the aisle a second time -- not in white, obviously -- on September 10, 1970 at Rosslyn Hill Chapel -- two years after their affair began.

Two years, two babies, but finally Saint Maria de Lourdes trapped her man.


Two years (and four months later), columnist Jack O'Brian would note that the rumors of infidelity were already making the rounds.

As Dory sang . . .
. . . She was my friend . . .
. . . I thought her motives were sincere . . .