As the year winds to a close, we remember some of the year's more embarrassing moments and hand out trophies for them.
MOST WHORISH TV MOMENT SINCE ROBERT REDFORD FAKED A DOCUMENTARY FOR CNN
CBS' hideous Madam Secretary manages to hit a new low week after week.
The neoliberal show should be called out by everyone. But we seem to be the only ones paying attention.
The second show accomplished the feat of making a Blackwater stand in appear cuddly, needed and a good thing.
This show is utter crap and anyone on the left too afraid to call it out is useless.
HERPES PERSONIFIED
War Criminal Tony Blair is the sexually transmitted disease that just won't go away and breaks out regularly.
Having co-started the illegal war on Iraq, Tony used 2014 to insist he should be consulted and listened to on the topic of current day Iraq -- as if being a War Criminal made him some sort of expert.
Strangely, recent torture revelations out of the United Kingdom appear to have silenced Tony.
But not for long, another outbreak has to be just around the corner.
A SHOW FOR NERDS -- NOT GEEKS, NERDS
Jane The Virgin continues to be low rated and that's a good thing. The series stars a 30-year-old woman pretending to be 23-years-old -- and a 23-year-old virgin at that. The Moral Majority finally got the show they've been praying decades for.
MOST OVER-HYPED NON-STORY
The Interview was not going to be released.
And then it was.
And North Korea . . .
Stop a second.
We're all aware, aren't we, that the film is nothing but a rip-off of Elaine May's Ishtar, right? Only Elaine had the decency to create both a fake leader and a fake country to be the target.
Though the film has occupied three weeks of endless chatter, no one can take a moment to point out Elaine May's being ripped off?
MOST CONFUSED CABINET MEMBER
Whether appearing before the Congress or the public, John Kerry can't stop yammering about US airstrikes in Syria and Libya or what the new US military plan is.
That wouldn't be a problem if, in fact, Kerry was Secretary of Defense; however, he's Secretary of State.
Diplomacy is supposed to be his currency -- a detail he repeatedly misses.
DUDE, NO ONE'S BUYING IT
No, not George Clooney's marriage -- that's a runner up.
We're talking about the thick, strawberry blond tangles 78-year-old Robert Redford has parked on top of his head to pretend he's not bald.
MOST WORTHLESS MUSICIAN NOT NAMED MICHAEL FRANTI
Ani DiFranco continues to be a big joke.
In November, she promoted her new album -- another waste of time -- by insisting, "What can I say, I’m just happy all the time!"
It was bad when protest singer Ani devoted an album to defending the status quo, but now, as the Iraq War enters yet another phase, as The Drone War continues, as it becomes clear the US military is not leaving Afghanistan, as the government continues its illegal spying, as Guantanamo remains open, protest singer Ani reveals she's "just happy all the time!"
Oh, go plan another retreat on a former slave plantation, you damn racist.
MOST STUPID CRIMINAL
Ray Rice used to play football for the Baltimore Ravens until video emerged of him beating then-fiancee Janay Palmer (now wife). At a press conference attempting to rehab his image, he actually declared, "Sometimes in life, you will get knocked down."
THE YOU'RE SO VAIN AWARD
Jane Fonda -- the Werner H. Erhard of faux activists -- actually wrote, "So, while meditating today an idea came to me: I’m going to create a shrine to myself–or, at least, the self I wish to be, the self who began to manifest when I was a young girl before the s**t hit the fan."
The self-involvement never ends. A shrine to herself and a celebration of over 70 years ago will keep her busy as she continues to avoid the Iraq War -- but how she preened in January of 2007 at the rally she tried to upstage.
Vanity, thy name is Jane.
First tip off, the never-ending cycle of plastic surgery.
Second, the pretense that she's sexually active.
She was called out by a friend of Shirley MacLaine's in the 90s when she posed as a sex kitten on the verge of marrying Ted Turner. Sadly, it's only gotten worse.
Even Elke Sommer knew to dial it down a notch.
DON'T STEAL THIS LOOK!
Whoever put Barack in that ridiculous suit should have been immediately banned from the White House.
He was supposed to be addressing the nation about --
Does anyone remember?
No, pretty much everyone just remembers that tan suit and the global gasp it elicted.
There was shock, dismay and an overwhelming sense of, "Is Dad drunk?"
