Sunday, November 19, 2006

Judith Regan: Trash merchant (still!)

Judith Regan, happy at last?

Not very likely.

The smooth veneer she's attempted to cultivate for years has always been done in (and will always be done in) by her foul language -- not sprinkled in, used as a crutch.

Now the National Enquirer's only success story is returning to the roots she's never really left too far behind: Judith wants to serve you some O.J.

For those who missed it, Regan's now tormenting the West coast. She's left New York far, far behind. Possibly the Ground Zero love nest with Bernie Kerik couldn't be topped?

Or maybe she's finally burned everyone in the Big Apple?

Regardless, she's California's burden now.

And she's pimping her imprint's latest book, by O.J. Simpson, and her TV specials with him (two next week) like crazy. She takes offense to the suggestion that the whole thing might be unseemly. Edward Wyatt wrote about that in "O.J. Simpson Confesses in Book, Publisher Says" (C1, front page of The New York Times' Business Day section, Friday, November 17, 2006). She doesn't understand (does she ever understand?) why she's getting negative publicity, after all, she points out Katie Couric interviewed Simpson in 2004, and "Barbara Walters interviews murders, dictators and criminals."

She doesn't really think she's on that level, does she? The failed host of the flop show Judith Regan Tonight? That she's "Judy" to America the way Couric is "Katie"? That the mention of her name conjures up an instant visual the same way the mention of Walters' name does?
Apparently she does. She also fails to grasp that when Couric or Walters interviews anyone, they're not profitting from their guest. Regan isn't just interviewing him, she's publishing his new book If I Did.

Regan probably passed for 'striking' (to some) in NYC. Out on the West coast? Couldn't pass for plain. Having one eyebrow higher than the other doesn't make for immediate liability -- it can, after all, be a quirk. However, plain (let alone beauty) is rarely built on a composite of quirks, and Regan's nothing but quirks. From the T-zone area of her face that always suggests she has a nasal infection, to the puffs under her eyes, from her apparent belief that Chin Is a Many Splendored Thing to her nose that droops on one side. From the bad highlights to near non-existant upper lip. Judith Regan is a mess to look at. (Did NYC deport her as some sort of city beautification program?)

She's also a mess on the inside. The talk is these two interviews are her Al Capone's Vault, that like Geraldo, this will sky rocket her as a TV presence. What she's forgetting is that Rivera didn't start out at The National Enquirer (ending up at Fox "News" may be just as bad). She's also forgetting that Rivera had a TV journalism track record prior to that special. She's also forgetting (easy to now) that Rivera was once considered dashing and good looking. Most of all, she's forgetting that Rivera became a national joke after Capone's vault was opened and revealed nothing.

To kick start the career again, chair throwing was required. We don't think Regan's face can stomach that blow.

Lots of luck peddling the trash, Judith, but don't be surprised if the whole thing doesn't take your 'little joke' status and inflate it into 'big joke' status.
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