Monday, October 05, 2015

TV: Dull Us

Dull us -- that's what ABC's doing with their latest soap opera.


Hap Brigs, Wick and Cody and all the damn rest are boring as hell.

And often ugly.

Wick's supposed to be the son of Don Johnson's character and there's not been such bad family casting since A RIVER RUNS THROUGH IT.

Yes, Don has seen better days but he's still far too attractive to have fathered Scott Michael Foster.

BLOOD & OIL has to be the worst attempt at a night time soap opera that ABC has ever attempted.

In the 80s, as CBS was pulling in old and male viewers with DALLAS, ABC found its own way with DYNASTY which brought in younger viewers and a more diverse crowd.

It did so by avoiding the plodding storylines revolving around Larry Hagman's J.R. Ewing and instead inviting the country to be entertained not only by Joan Collins' Alexis but also Pamela Sue Martin's Fallon and Heather Locklear's Sammy Jo.

The first season of DYNASTY was largely forgettable except for Blake murdering his son's lover and daughter Fallon lying for him on the witness stand.

But season two is where DYNASTY found its footing.

BLOOD & OIL doesn't deserve a second season.

It doesn't even deserve a third Sunday night.

It's a wretched remake of DALLAS and no one wanted to watch the DALLAS reboot on TNT -- or did ABC miss that?

It's a show about men and, sorry, but Chance Crawford, while he's the most attractive male on the show, isn't all that attractive.

He's also about as interesting as a stick of butter -- no danger, no sex appeal, nothing but a pin up.

But the men do and the women wait.

It's all so retro, it's all so pathetic.

And that's before you get to the dinner table toasts to oil.

Who watches this crap?

No one as last Sunday's ratings demonstrated.

With no real competition -- Fox is tanking, THE GOOD WIFE wasn't airing on CBS -- the soap opera bombed.

And the ratings are only going to get worse.

The only thing that could save the show at this point is Melanie Griffith showing up.

We're not joking.

As we noted in 2007, VIVA LAUGHLIN came alive when Melanie showed up.

Don Johnson's ex-wife could probably pump some life into BLOOD & OIL as well.

The show needs female characters, not doormats.

It also needs actresses and you're kidding yourself that Amber Valletta is a lead actress.

Ms. One Note barely held attention on REVENGE playing Lydia Davis.

Bring on Melanie Griffith or cancel the show.

It's ratings will only get worse week after week as they explore slant oil drilling and other topics that America just doesn't give a damn about.

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