Does independent media have its head up its ass? (Rhetorical question but we hear the loud "YES!" shouted back anyway.) They've bored us to death with puff coverage of centrists, gas baggery about the election Tuesday, football fantasy of who would be the dream 2008 presidential candidate (apparently, it's never early to fixate), and generally done a shit poor job covering anything resembling reality.
There was time, in a blog post, for a magazine to slam the peace movement. Oh, the peace movement should respond.
In the meantime, instead of fixating on an individual, instead of horse racing and handicapping ("It's Hillary in the lead! Wait, Obama may be pulling ahead!"), if all they can think about is who they want in 2008, how about they expand a little?
How about they chatter about the qualities desired and not be useless with all that text printed on paper that's headed for a landfill and will be forgotten within a year?
They're just chickens (in every sense of the word) scratching for their immortality, to steal from Joni Mitchell's "Heijera." Responding to three e-mails, we put out heads together. We didn't get all high falutin', we didn't see the need to strike a pose or gas bag, we kept it simple.
"The Perfect Nanny." A lot of people know that song though they might not realize that they do. It's from the film Mary Poppins. "If you want this choice position . . ." sing Jane and Michael Banks before going on to describe what they'd like in a nanny.
In that spirit, let's be clear about what we'd like from the next president.
We'd like someone who:
Stands up for all
And heeds the call
Of the people.
Never hides behind
Flags or
Steeples.
Knows that 'interest'
Isn't just finance.
Wouldn't have a tag sale
On the commons.
A friend to all
Not a friend to oil.
Speaks plainly
And honestly
Without a need
for a banner
Displayed behind them.
With words and meanings,
Never lost,
You can always find them.
Since required to be native born,
By location or parent,
Is it too much to ask
That they speak plain English?
No 'suiciders' or 'tacular's
Just plain English.
How about paying those UN dues?
Walking in another's shoes?
Landmines haven't gone away.
Most of all,
Can we believe a word you say?
Hurry candidate, many thanks,
The Third Estate Sunday Review
The reality is Bully Boy didn't show up, he was groomed. His potential (if you can use the term and Bully Boy in the same sentence) fit the G.O.P. criteria. They didn't select a person and then decide "We'll all root for him!" They knew what they were looking and they found their match in Bully Boy. Those who want to play fantasy football might be better off attempting to decide what they're looking for in a president instead of attempting to craft someone into that role.
