TV: 2006 - A look forward

We figured we'd look forward, since we've already looked backward. But, since a reader who apparently lusts for nerds of limited talent, e-mailed to note "the awesome commentary" by Joss Whedon in a recent TV Guide (we understand it's still on the stands, in fact, no one's buying the 99 cents version so watch out when the price leaps to $1.99). Had we, wondered the reader, checked out Joss's "hilarious commentary"?

Uh, it's kind of hard to avoid. It's been a fax favorite for almost a week now. Our favorite is the annotated version which is the column you see in TV Guide plus references to the original jokes that Joss is ripping off. But the best fax of that column might have come from a friend at one of the big three who faxed it with the following message on the cover sheet:

Whedon's officially crap. Someone flush the toilet already!

Jim found the e-mail and told us "you have to read this one." Our reader, we'll call her Jossette, also felt the need to sing the praises of Kristen Bell (like Joss, Jossette appears to find herself singing, "Thank Heaven For Little Girls" played by 25 year-olds). Did we notice, Jossette wanted to know, that Bell proves she's a "serious actress" in her picks for favorite TV stars?

No, we didn't. Because, like most of America, we don't purchase TV Guide. Thankfully, Jossette includes Bell's picks for favorite TV stars: Bill Cosby and Ray Romano. We're failing to see how selecting either stand up comedian demonstrates that Bell is a "serious actress." What we're seeing is that she is woefully short on female role models or else has a strong attachment to Daddy figures. (Sh, no gossip.) The Deborah Walley of the new millenium just got even more disappointing. (That analogy works on several levels.)

But Jim asked us what we had planned for this edition and, when we said a look forward, he told us we had to read Jossette's e-mail raving about Joss, Kristen and TV Guide. Jossette, if TV Guide could clone you repeatedly, they might be able to make money (and someone might be able to turn either a revived Firefly or Moronic Mars into a bonafide hit). Josette's high on Tom Cavanagh's new show Love Monkey which will air Tuesday nights on CBS in the new year . . . for at least a few episodes. People who've seen the show tell us that Cavanagh looks ridiculous with his new haircut (and "chunky" was also tossed around), that Jason Priestly needs to get to the gym, that Larenz Tate doesn't embarrass himself and, finally, that the only reason to watch is Christopher Wiehl.

If Jossette isn't just a Cavanagh fan but actually watched Ed (yes, believe it or not, a few people actually watched that show), she might want to check out Courting Alex (CBS) which is Jenna Eflman's return to sitcom form and features both Dabney Coleman and Josh Randall (Randall was formely known as the only reason to sit through an episode of Ed).

Did TV Guide not report a cancellation (not surprising) or did Jossette miss it? Threshold was cancelled. Jossette raves that 2006 will be the year of Cavanagh, Moronic Mars and Threshold. Jossette also advises us that Will & Grace will be the leaving the air and that TV Guide has just discovered that the quality has declined a bit. Welcome to the party, Jossette & TV Guide, we made that observation last January.

We will note, however, that Debra Messing finally decided to stop dressing as a cover girl and returned to the roots of her character Grace. We wouldn't even question her winning an Emmy for this season. That wasn't the only good news. Mad TV, of all shows, actually demonstrated both common sense and a thick skin by developing a funny skit that parodies much of the show. Ike Barinholtz and Bobby Lee played characters working in a strip mall who do nothing but rip off the tag lines of famous characters. They played it beautifully (that's not a backhanded compliment) and hopefully will revisit the characters in 2006. (Reader Emma pointed that out; however, when the skit aired, Rebecca -- who suffers from a severe crush on Ike -- gave an alert when it aired a few Saturdays back and insisted we all stop working on that edition to watch the skit.) Jim reports that a number of readers have blamed us both for the cancellation of a show and the destruction of a marriage -- from one review. Hey, we're givers. We live to help.

While we're noting readers, we want to provide a head's up for Stella who once wrote of her strong desire for Rob Estes. ABC will provide Estes in full glory on The Evidence later in the new year. We hear Estes delivers his usual strong performance and Martin Landau's performances are hailed as "amazing" by one friend working on the show. That's the good news. The bad news is that they're saddled with the same plots and conventions featured on every other forensic investigation show currently airing.

Back to Jossette, who can spin the conventional wisdom as well as any half-assed TV critic, she informs us that sitcoms are "so over." The death of the sitcom was the hype of 2005 but we're wondering if Jossette's a really bad reader or TV Guide is a just a really bad resource (or a bit of both)? Whether anything will be a hit or not, sitcoms are being offered in large numbers. In addition to Jenna Elfman's return to the format that brought her fame as half of Dharma & Greg, Julia Louis-Dreyfus is back in The New Adventures of Old Christine (CBS), Grounded For Life's Brett Harrison returns to sitcom land via Fox's The Loop (which all the word of mouth on belongs to Mimi Rogers). "Oh, three shows," you scoff.

No, there's a great deal more than that. Bad word of mouth is dogging ABC's Sons & Daughters.
We are told, however, that the network intends to stand behind Crumbs (Jane Curtain, William DeVane and Fred Savage, among others) and Emily's Reasons Why Not (Heather Graham). (Those sort of promises always tend to be forgotten when the first overnights come in.) We're especially hopeful about Emily's Reasons Why Not having seen some footage.

Those aren't the only sitcoms that will be debuting but we'll hail NBC's decision to return to two hours of sitcoms on Thursdays this spring. We wish there were two out of the four shows that we could get excited about (feels a little more like Thursday's of The Duck Factory and Night Court years than of the Friends and Seinfeld years), but for all those who spent 2005 eulogizing the sitcom, it's a wake up call. (And the only chance NBC has to build a winning schedule on Thursdays because, as we long ago noted, an hour of chuckles, reality TV and ER do not make for a solid mix.)

Will & Grace, in its final season, is the main reason to watch. Another reason is that Joey's being put on the bench. Instead, joining W&G will be The Office, My Name is Earl and the new sitcom Four Kings. Jossette actually might be interested in that since one of the four leads is Joss Whedon refugee Seth Green. (Evacuee?) Before everyone with a brain writes off the show, he's not the only star. Also starring are Josh Cooke (don't miss his bit at the bar in the second episode), Todd Grinnell and Shane McRae. NBC thinks it has the new Friends with Four Kings. From what we've seen, it's half of the first season of Friends (Cooke's the Monica character, McRae the Pheobe and Grinnell the Chandler) with second season roommate from hell Eddie (Green) brought on early. The show has some funny moments at present and whether or not it will turn into the new Friends (or the quickly cancelled) will probably depend upon how quickly everyone grasps that Green is a seasoning to be used sparingly, not dumped on the plate.

For those interested in dramas, there's Estes, as mentioned prior, in ABC's The Evidence. CBS is nervous about The Unit which some feel is the Boomtown of 2006 (show you should watch but no one will). (That's the network's take on it. We haven't seen any footage and have heard mixed reports from people involved with the show.) What else?

There's What About Brian? which is giving some at ABC serious headaches. Barry Watson (of Seventh Heaven fame or "fame") isn't filming well and, belatedly, some are realizing that the too-sensitive-for-this-world onscreen persona of Watson's doesn't play well for the lead character of Brian. (Had they realized this fact when a few were first pointing it out, they could have flipped Watson into Matthew Davis' role and let Davis play Brian. Apparently no one saw Legally Blonde?) If Neil Patrick Harris is irritating (and unbelievable) as a ladies man on How I Met Your Mother, Watson just comes off limp. What do you do with a show that you've miscast and already have episodes ready to air? ABC's considering asking Watson to cut his hair. (Yeah, that's the problem.)

In many ways, NBC is just marking time until they air the Olympics this February. Which explains their desire to take a stab at Nothing Sacred. Remember that ABC drama that starred Kevin Anderson as Father Ray? For nineteen episodes it enraged the 'vangical voters (beginning in the fall of 1997). This time round, the religion's changed (the lead character is an Episcopalian minister), Jesus appears frequently (via visions) but the storylines continue to address the topical. Before the screams for boycotts start, The Book of Daniel's worth checking out for strong performances from Aiden Quinn, Ellen Burstyn and Christian Campbell.

What else? Dickie Wolfe squeezes out another, it's called Conviction. What? You thought he could leave the perp walk? You gotta walk it like you talk it and Dickie's being doing it for years.
Reasons to watch? None.

UPN has a new show that discovers people of color and ethnicities by allowing two white Brooklyn boys to move to Florida in South Beach. (Obviously, someone's view of New York is as encompassing as Woody Allen's.) Vanessa Willimas has a thankless role thus far (think of her as the Captain Merrill Stubing of this ship) but looks wonderful. UPN thinks they have two "hotties" in Marcus Coloma and Chris Johnson which demonstrates the half-assed thinking UPN's become famous for. (Chris Johnson appears to have understudied Jon Cryer's Two and A Half Men role.) Joining Williams in the ranks of under utilized is Giancarlo Esposito.

So what's the message for 2006? There's a little reason for hope. Not much, but a little. Vanessa Williams should be starring in her own sitcom on NBC but we'll be thankful that she's a regular on any TV show. For all it's problems (and for ever how long it lasts), Love Monkey does find a slot for a person of color (Tate) among the four leads. We're hopeful that ABC will find a slot for the American version of Betty La Fea and that Salma Hayek, in the producer role, will ensure that more diversity arrives on your TV screens. But we aren't holding our breath, not in a mid-season where a failed movie actor (and minor TV "star"as part of an ensemble airing on a net-lette) like Barry Watson can grab the lead in an ABC drama -- a part for which he's hugely miscast. The big three remains whiter and whiter and whiter. Your best chance of spotting a performer of color continue to be in the role of a "perp" on one of the many Law & Order shows.

In other TV news, the 73 million viewers without cable or satellite in this country got screwed by Dick Cheney who provided the tie-breaking vote in the Senate that marks 2009 as the deadline for broadcasters to stop using analog signals and make the transfer to digital. If that does come to pass (what The New York Times has editorialized as "The Death of Free TV"), and you're suddenly left with a large monitor good for watching DVDs and videotapes only, remember to thank Dick Cheney. But for 2006, there is still "free TV." (Note that if and when all TV requires payment, you'll still be suffering through commercials.)