Dear Third Estate Sunday Review

Proving that we do read your e-mails, we offer up this advice column pulling from queries in your e-mails.

Dear Third Estate Sunday Review,
Help! I've been invited over to a dinner a classmate is throwing and it's off campus, not the usual chips and Hot Pockets dorm living I'm used to. What do I do?
Shelly, Atlanta, GA

Well, Shelly, the first thing you have to do is decide if you're going and let the host/ess know because unexpected guests, like unexpected pregnacies, don't please everyone.

If you are going, etiquette dictates that you bring something. Booze hounds that we are, we'd advise a bottle of wine or some beer. But these days you never know who's in recovery without asking, so possibly you should take flowers.

If it's a potluck, you need to bring something. Check with the host/ess to avoid multiple green bean salads or bags of ice. If you're making a dish, a suggestion on seasonings -- bring them along. Spices are meant to enhance, not overwhelm, and everyone has their attitude of how much is too much.

Dear Third Estate Sunday Review,
What's your opinion on cell phone use when visiting someone?
Pete, San Diego, CA

When you're visiting someone you should at the VERY LEAST turn your cell phone's ringer off and put it on vibrate. Your use of the term "visit" suggest that's the person is not one of your usual roll dogs.

If our assumption is correct, keep in mind that YOU ARE VISITING.

That means you are not there to sit on someone's sofa, futon, whatever jawing on the cell phone while the person owning or renting the space you're visiting waits for you to find the time to "visit."

Taking multiple calls is also problematic. While you may think it ups your popularity value in the host/ess's eyes, multiple calls will probably strike many as just plain rude when you've come over to "visit."

Dear Third Estate Sunday Review,
I'm going to what I assume is a sleep over. Involving just me and one other person, if you get my meaning. What should I pack?
Roy, Longview, TX

Roy, you're question indicates that you're contemplating something much deeper than boxers or briefs.

Since we've all done the toothpaste on the finger bit the morning after, we applaud your pre-planning.

Here are a few thoughts to remember.

No luggage. You're not checking in a hotel (as far as we can tell).

No big freezie bag either. First, it's tacky and, second, you state you "assume." What if you're wrong?

The last thing you want to do is show at someone's door with a see through container holding your toothpaste, underwear, socks and condoms. Your assumption might not be his or her assumption and displaying your intent to stay over makes the "let's just be friends" speech all the more difficult to hear.

We'd suggest you pack lightly (clean socks, underwear, toothbrush, condoms, etc.) and that you utilize the standard issue college backpack. If for some reason you don't usually carry a backpack, toss in a few books or CDs so you can bring them out at some point to justify bringing along the backpack.

Lastly, if this is a "sleep over," remember to practice good sex. No one likes a lousy lover.

Dear Third Estate Sunday Review,
I'm not real pleased with my boyfriend. I think he's a bit selfish but he swears I should take a look in the mirror. Lately, I'm the one stuck sleeping in the wet spot and I'm irritated that although he takes me out to nice restaurants, he never tips. Lately he's also complained about my spending allowance and keeps talking about reducing it and complaining that all I ever do is buy shoes.
Alex, Miami, FL

Alex, the life of the trophy isn't an easy one. But considering all the problems in the world, we'd say a moist bottom isn't a great price to pay for a life of leisure or semi-leisure. If the tipping bothers you, you might consider using your spending allowance (reduced or at its current state) to provide the tip.

Dear Third Estate Sunday Review,
. . . Which J-school program are you in? I'm betting at the one uptown . . .
Jon, no location given

Well Jon, who provides no information, you certainly seek out information on the location of others. But seriously, when we decided to do an advice column, Ava demanded that your e-mail go into this because you're the only one she's never replied to on her day to handle the e-mail. She started a reply and then saved it to draft to check with the rest of us. As we've noted before, all the information we wish to provide is in the "about us" section. Because of who you mentioned earlier in your e-mail (Ron of Why Are We Back In Iraq?), Ava wanted to reply to you and had started a reply. But Ron's becoming a celeb in the blog world and anyone could name drop him at this point. (Jon does know Ron, C.I. confirmed this for Ava this week.) Our policy is not to reply to requests for personal information. We've tried to keep it silly in this "advise column." But Ava has never started and not sent an e-mail before and has wanted to include some sort of reply to you (so that you'd know she did read your e-mail) for some time so we're throwing it in here.

We'll pull a C.I. and post our e-mail in an entry. It's thirdestatesundayreview@yahoo.com and you can use it to comment or rant about stories, to seek out advice or whatever. But we won't reply to requests for personal information and we've explained that in prior editions. (E-mail info is also available on our profile.)