If Americans are going to make connections with the British elections
they must talk about the assault on democracy from the billionaires and
their willing minions. They must plan for the inevitable character
assassination of anyone who threatens the elites and their established
order. If any connection with U.S. politics seems farfetched, consider
that an Integrity Initiative operative “volunteered”
for Bernie Sanders campaign in 2016. The connections are international,
and the elites in one country are fast friends with those in another.
The politicians of Corbyn and Sanders ilk will always face an uphill
battle. Denying this reality means that the scoundrels will stay in
control in the U.S., the U.K. and the whole world.
-- Margaret Kimberley, "Freedom Rider: Propaganda and the Defeat of Jeremy Corbyn" (BLACK AGENDA REPORT).
Monday, December 23, 2019
Truest statement of the week II
Sanders gets so much flak from corporate media because his campaign
is upsetting the dominant apple cart. He relentlessly exposes a basic
contradiction: A society ruled by an oligarchy—defined as “a government
in which a small group exercises control especially for corrupt and
selfish purposes”—can’t really be a democracy.
The super-wealthy individuals and huge corporations that own the biggest U.S. media outlets don’t want actual democracy. It would curb their profits and their power.
-- Norman Solomon, "It's Corporate Media, 'Moderate' Democrats, and the Oligarchy vs. Bernie Sanders and a Movement" (COMMON DREAMS).
The super-wealthy individuals and huge corporations that own the biggest U.S. media outlets don’t want actual democracy. It would curb their profits and their power.
-- Norman Solomon, "It's Corporate Media, 'Moderate' Democrats, and the Oligarchy vs. Bernie Sanders and a Movement" (COMMON DREAMS).
A note to our readers
Hey --
Monday evening.
Let's thank all who participated this edition which includes Dallas and the following:
And what did we come up with?
Let's define we -- Ava and C.I. We're not in the mood to come together on Tuesday night -- Christmas Eve -- and finish the edition which is what Jim wanted. So we've hijacked the edition and this is what we're offering:
Peace from all of us,
-- Jim, Dona, Ty, Jess, Ava and C.I.
Monday evening.
Let's thank all who participated this edition which includes Dallas and the following:
The Third Estate Sunday Review's Jim, Dona, Ty, Jess and Ava,
Rebecca of Sex and Politics and Screeds and Attitude,
Betty of Thomas Friedman Is a Great Man,
C.I. of The Common Ills and The Third Estate Sunday Review,
Kat of Kat's Korner (of The Common Ills),
Mike of Mikey Likes It!,
Elaine of Like Maria Said Paz),
Cedric of Cedric's Big Mix,
Ruth of Ruth's Report,
Wally of The Daily Jot,
Trina of Trina's Kitchen,
Rebecca of Sex and Politics and Screeds and Attitude,
Betty of Thomas Friedman Is a Great Man,
C.I. of The Common Ills and The Third Estate Sunday Review,
Kat of Kat's Korner (of The Common Ills),
Mike of Mikey Likes It!,
Elaine of Like Maria Said Paz),
Cedric of Cedric's Big Mix,
Ruth of Ruth's Report,
Wally of The Daily Jot,
Trina of Trina's Kitchen,
Marcia of SICKOFITRDLZ,
Stan of Oh Boy It Never Ends,
Isaiah of The World Today Just Nuts,
and Ann of Ann's Mega Dub.
Stan of Oh Boy It Never Ends,
Isaiah of The World Today Just Nuts,
and Ann of Ann's Mega Dub.
And what did we come up with?
Let's define we -- Ava and C.I. We're not in the mood to come together on Tuesday night -- Christmas Eve -- and finish the edition which is what Jim wanted. So we've hijacked the edition and this is what we're offering:
Margaret Kimberley with another truest.
Norman Solomon with a truest.
When will the debates get around to Iraq? This was always planned as the editorial. We (Ava and C.I.) didn't feel the need to expand on it much. We're tired and we want this edition up and we want it done.
We covered NETFLIX's THE WATCHER (which we liked) and the debate.
We've seen LITTLE WOMEN. We were very unimpressed. And that's before you grasp that no one needed another film of the book. There are so many stories that don't get told. And we're real sick of 'woke' posers thinking they can just keep focusing on White people. That's true of Greta, it's true of her husband. They aren't film makers. They peddle placebo for the White middle-class.
This feature has been talked about forever but never written. We hope we included everyone's favorite -- we mean those that participate at THIRD but we hope we included the readers' favorite episodes as well.
A wonderful Twitter thread.
Is he right? The pundit? We don't know but we thought it was worth sharing.
Margaret Kimberley.
Stevie Nicks. "Well it was a . . ."
What was listened to while discussing this edition on Sunday and what we (Ava and C.I.) listened to tonight as we cobbled this together.
Peace from all of us,
-- Jim, Dona, Ty, Jess, Ava and C.I.
Editorial: How many have to die for it to be news?
So PBS teamed with POLITICO to host last week's Democratic Party debate consisting of a small group of people seeking the Democratic Party's presidential nomination.
Where was Iraq?
How many have to die before Iraq becomes a serious topic in the debates?
The Iraq War only came up when Senator Bernie Sanders brought it up.
And then the moderators changed the topic.
It's one of the greatest crimes of the 21st century.
The lives of so many Iraqis have been destroyed.
But it's the topic the media doesn't want to raise.
Now us, we remember when the media couldn't shut up about Iraq. Of course, that was because they were selling the war.
The war is a disaster and now they want to act like not only does it not exist but also that they had no part in it.
Where was Iraq?
Now that i have your attention
Protests have been taking a place in Iraq since October the 1st.
Over 600 peaceful demonstrators got killed in the most atrocious ways.
(Thousands got serious injuries that affect their lives)
Activists been getting kidnapped and murdered
How many have to die before Iraq becomes a serious topic in the debates?
The Iraq War only came up when Senator Bernie Sanders brought it up.
And then the moderators changed the topic.
It's one of the greatest crimes of the 21st century.
The lives of so many Iraqis have been destroyed.
But it's the topic the media doesn't want to raise.
Now us, we remember when the media couldn't shut up about Iraq. Of course, that was because they were selling the war.
The war is a disaster and now they want to act like not only does it not exist but also that they had no part in it.
TV: THE WATCHER and the debate
NETFLIX is serving up a new show, THE WATCHER. It's not hideous but it's also not as good as it should be.
Henry Cavill is not miscast. He is mis-make up-ed. And mis-wigged. What's up with the contacts? Why do you hire someone with Henry's attractive eyes and then cover them up with contacts? Why do you hire someone with Henry's jawline and then screw up his looks with a tacky, long wig.
Oh, it's reality, is it?
In a fantasy show, mind you, reality?
We're like Sandra Bernhardt in that we prefer our television fantasy shows non-realistic. Like Sandra, we enjoy the episodes of the sixties series THE WILD WILD WEST, in part, because the female guest stars wear sixties period eye make up -- eye make up not present in the Old West.
Henry's jaw line is never going to work with a long wig. That's reality. That's the real reality that the creators of this show should have grasped. There will be a season two and the first thing the show runner, Lauren Schmidt Hissrich, needs to do is to address the hair issue. There's no reason in the world that Henry Cavill needs to wear a wig for this show. If he's going to wear a wig, however, they need to work hard on the wig they choose and how they style it. We'd argue that the hair on the wig needs to be pulled back -- in part or in full -- and it needs to be no longer than Kurt Cobain's hair was at the height of Nirvana. But we'd argue even louder that there's no need for him to wear a wig to begin with.
After that, it would be nice if she'd adjust the bro-mosphere that wafts off the show from time to time.
There's no need for all the female nudity in episode one unless the show's going to show male nudity. Henry's already done that in THE TUDORS (2007 through 2010) and the STARZ series SPARTACUS (2010 through 2013) also featured male nudity.
So what's the hang up for THE WATCHER? NETFLIX really needs to address their problem with male nudity. They do a tiny, blink and you miss it peen scene with a Chris Pine, for example, and try to make it into the moment of the century but they can't stop pimping female nudity. And if a show dares to treat the male and the female form as both worth displaying (see SENSE8), NETFLIX goes into a panic and cancels the show.
The streaming services are not dealing with censors. And you can tell that watching NETFLIX or AMAZON PRIME -- as you see women being filmed nude over and over. But let the neocon fantasy JACK RYAN have the title male character take a shower and suddenly the camera moves so carefully that you don't see ass or junk.
We're not opposed to nudity. We are opposed to inequality.
It is not fair to put the female form on display and not do the same with the male form.
If you're going to make an actress appear nude on camera, you better do the same for the actors.
There's a lot of inequality going on all around the country.
We saw that Thursday night at the PBS-POLITICO hosted Democratic Party presidential candidates debate. We saw it especially with Tiny Pete.
We weren't the only ones who saw it.
His anger at Tulsi was demonstrated in an earlier debate. The anger that he exposes, in debate after debate, towards women puts him in the tradition of gay men who are misogynist -- a sub-group of gay men that's always been with us but whose numbers hopefully dwindle each year. Put that with Tiny Pete's frequent problems with reproductive rights and women have every reason to be concerned about Tiny Pete. We find it amazing that, since the 2016 election, many Democrats have insisted "Vote Like A Black Woman" but, currently, many are disrespecting women of color as they register distaste for Tiny Pete.
There was more sexism on stage than just the underqualified candidate. After all, Joe Biden was on the stage. And he disrespected women.
Akbar Shahid Ahmed (HUFFINGTON POST) noted the disrespect Joe showered upon journalist and moderator Amna Nawez because Nawez pronounced "Afghanistan" correctly. There was also his way of interrupting this last debate. Instead of cutting women off by interrupting them with words, Joe thought it was 'cute' to steal attention when, for example, Elizabeth Warren was speaking in an exchange with Tiny Pete -- that's when Joe decided to take a little walk. That was disrespectful.
The next time he pulls that stunt in a debate, he needs to be called on it. He knows what he's doing. He was trying to weaken the argument Elizabeth was knowing, he was trying to make the audience ignore her.
We can ignore a lot of minor things -- and, to enjoy THE WATCHER, you have to.
Take the camera work. It's hideous.
We were trying to figure out what the deal was? Were they pursuing new styles?
The last real revolution in television cinematography took place in the early eighties. It happened on GENERAL HOSPITAL while Gloria Monty was producer. She wanted rhythms and would snap throughout a scene indicating cuts and beats. If the directors could provide it, she gave them free reign. And those directors, people like Marlena Laird, revolutionized television in a way that quickly spread to primetime but spread without Laird or her colleagues getting the credit that they deserved.
Was THE WATCHER attempting to do something similar?
We think it might be. Maybe.
It appears to be stealing from the video game ELDER SCROLLS. It closes in tight and frames shots the way the video game does. But the video game is working with animation, not real people. Point, it's not working for real people. They look squat and unattractive -- male or female.
Worst of all, they're frequently out of focus.
The first time this was most obvious to us was in episode one around the 19 minute mark when four characters were seated at a table. As the footage cuts from one camera to another, watch how the characters go in and out of focus. And notice how around 19 minutes and 48 seconds, as the actress on the far left leans in to speak -- in the same shot -- she suddenly comes into focus. This happens again at the 20:00 mark in the same scene.
In fact, it happens over and over and it's lousy camera work.
The show has a sound and strong narrative. Cavill leads a strong cast. There's so much to praise here. But, let's be clear, there's a great deal that needs to be fixed before season two starts filming.
Henry Cavill is not miscast. He is mis-make up-ed. And mis-wigged. What's up with the contacts? Why do you hire someone with Henry's attractive eyes and then cover them up with contacts? Why do you hire someone with Henry's jawline and then screw up his looks with a tacky, long wig.
Oh, it's reality, is it?
In a fantasy show, mind you, reality?
We're like Sandra Bernhardt in that we prefer our television fantasy shows non-realistic. Like Sandra, we enjoy the episodes of the sixties series THE WILD WILD WEST, in part, because the female guest stars wear sixties period eye make up -- eye make up not present in the Old West.
Henry's jaw line is never going to work with a long wig. That's reality. That's the real reality that the creators of this show should have grasped. There will be a season two and the first thing the show runner, Lauren Schmidt Hissrich, needs to do is to address the hair issue. There's no reason in the world that Henry Cavill needs to wear a wig for this show. If he's going to wear a wig, however, they need to work hard on the wig they choose and how they style it. We'd argue that the hair on the wig needs to be pulled back -- in part or in full -- and it needs to be no longer than Kurt Cobain's hair was at the height of Nirvana. But we'd argue even louder that there's no need for him to wear a wig to begin with.
After that, it would be nice if she'd adjust the bro-mosphere that wafts off the show from time to time.
There's no need for all the female nudity in episode one unless the show's going to show male nudity. Henry's already done that in THE TUDORS (2007 through 2010) and the STARZ series SPARTACUS (2010 through 2013) also featured male nudity.
So what's the hang up for THE WATCHER? NETFLIX really needs to address their problem with male nudity. They do a tiny, blink and you miss it peen scene with a Chris Pine, for example, and try to make it into the moment of the century but they can't stop pimping female nudity. And if a show dares to treat the male and the female form as both worth displaying (see SENSE8), NETFLIX goes into a panic and cancels the show.
The streaming services are not dealing with censors. And you can tell that watching NETFLIX or AMAZON PRIME -- as you see women being filmed nude over and over. But let the neocon fantasy JACK RYAN have the title male character take a shower and suddenly the camera moves so carefully that you don't see ass or junk.
We're not opposed to nudity. We are opposed to inequality.
It is not fair to put the female form on display and not do the same with the male form.
If you're going to make an actress appear nude on camera, you better do the same for the actors.
There's a lot of inequality going on all around the country.
We saw that Thursday night at the PBS-POLITICO hosted Democratic Party presidential candidates debate. We saw it especially with Tiny Pete.
We weren't the only ones who saw it.
I am interested in the fact that Mayor Pete is mute when Bernie and Biden attack but goes into TED talk mode against the ladies.
The way that Pete Buttigieg cannot even HIDE his anger at women like Elizabeth Warren, Tulsi Gabbard, & Amy Klobuchar for legitimately criticizing him ON THE DEBATE STAGE is HIGHLY alarming.
I can't get past Mayor Pete saying to Warren, "Now, supposing you went home and felt the holiday spirit — I know this isn’t likely, but stay with me". She made a measured criticism of his fundraising strategy. He replied by basically calling her a harpy.
His anger at Tulsi was demonstrated in an earlier debate. The anger that he exposes, in debate after debate, towards women puts him in the tradition of gay men who are misogynist -- a sub-group of gay men that's always been with us but whose numbers hopefully dwindle each year. Put that with Tiny Pete's frequent problems with reproductive rights and women have every reason to be concerned about Tiny Pete. We find it amazing that, since the 2016 election, many Democrats have insisted "Vote Like A Black Woman" but, currently, many are disrespecting women of color as they register distaste for Tiny Pete.
There was more sexism on stage than just the underqualified candidate. After all, Joe Biden was on the stage. And he disrespected women.
Akbar Shahid Ahmed (HUFFINGTON POST) noted the disrespect Joe showered upon journalist and moderator Amna Nawez because Nawez pronounced "Afghanistan" correctly. There was also his way of interrupting this last debate. Instead of cutting women off by interrupting them with words, Joe thought it was 'cute' to steal attention when, for example, Elizabeth Warren was speaking in an exchange with Tiny Pete -- that's when Joe decided to take a little walk. That was disrespectful.
The next time he pulls that stunt in a debate, he needs to be called on it. He knows what he's doing. He was trying to weaken the argument Elizabeth was knowing, he was trying to make the audience ignore her.
We can ignore a lot of minor things -- and, to enjoy THE WATCHER, you have to.
Take the camera work. It's hideous.
We were trying to figure out what the deal was? Were they pursuing new styles?
The last real revolution in television cinematography took place in the early eighties. It happened on GENERAL HOSPITAL while Gloria Monty was producer. She wanted rhythms and would snap throughout a scene indicating cuts and beats. If the directors could provide it, she gave them free reign. And those directors, people like Marlena Laird, revolutionized television in a way that quickly spread to primetime but spread without Laird or her colleagues getting the credit that they deserved.
Was THE WATCHER attempting to do something similar?
We think it might be. Maybe.
It appears to be stealing from the video game ELDER SCROLLS. It closes in tight and frames shots the way the video game does. But the video game is working with animation, not real people. Point, it's not working for real people. They look squat and unattractive -- male or female.
Worst of all, they're frequently out of focus.
The first time this was most obvious to us was in episode one around the 19 minute mark when four characters were seated at a table. As the footage cuts from one camera to another, watch how the characters go in and out of focus. And notice how around 19 minutes and 48 seconds, as the actress on the far left leans in to speak -- in the same shot -- she suddenly comes into focus. This happens again at the 20:00 mark in the same scene.
In fact, it happens over and over and it's lousy camera work.
The show has a sound and strong narrative. Cavill leads a strong cast. There's so much to praise here. But, let's be clear, there's a great deal that needs to be fixed before season two starts filming.
Greta Gerwig loves little White women (Ava and C.I.)
LITTLE WOMEN, due out December 25th, breaks no new ground and really has no reason to exist except possibly to perpetuate racism. Greta Gerwig has dressed up the story a little, trying to modernize it with reactions and statements that are not true to the novel. All she's really done is demonstrate that she's both a pedestrian director and, yes, a racist.
We make the world we want. We make it with our choices.
Greta decided the world needed a movie based on the novel LITTLE WOMEN.
Of course, the world already had films -- plural -- based upon LITTLE WOMEN.
Many films.
In 1917, Alexander Butler directed the first known film of Louisa May Alcott's novel. It was a silent film as was the one a year later directed by Harley Knoles. In 1933, George Cukor directed the classic version starring Katharine Hepburn. In 1949, Mervyn LeRoy directed the embarrassment starring June Allyson -- it was an abomination and Greta should be happy for that -- she hasn't directed the worst version of the film, just the second worst version.
In 1978, the novel was a two-part mini-series with a cast led by Susan Dey. In 1994, Gillian Armstrong's version was released and it remains the only version to seriously rival George Cukor's. 2018 found another film of the novel, this one directed by Clare Niederpruem.
And now Greta.
The only question is: Why?
A gift to little girls?
How sweet but maybe a real gift to all little girls would be a film that featured little girls of various races and not just White little girls?
Some will wrongly insist that the film must be great beause it is on a some best-of lists. They're not grading the film, they're grading intentions. It's a bad film, it's poorly paced and Greta's trying to improve upon Alcott and the characters aren't the ones you know because she's given 21st century sensibilities.
Well . . . the sensibilities of 21st century White women who live sheltered lives and never bother to look around and think, "Where are the people of color?"
That's the question that needs to be asked of Greta.
LITTLE WOMEN is done. No one needs another movie.
Where's the film of MOSES, MAN OF THE MOUNTAIN, for example?
Or is it Oprah -- and only Oprah -- who has a responsibility to bring novels by women of color to the small screen and the big screen?
Zora Neale Hurston?
There was a time, before Alice Walker spent years bringing her back into the public awareness, when Zora was largely unknown.
Why is it we applaud White women for doing tired films based on books written by White women?
At what point do we start demanding that these prissy little women start stepping beyond their comfort zones and stop re-directing the same damn film over and over.
LITTLE WOMEN didn't need another film. Books by other women? Yeah, there are tons. Stop applauding the nonsense that Greta's serving.
Let's quote from Alice Walker, from her essay "One Child of One's Own" (which can be found in Alice's essay collection IN SEARCH OF OUR MOTHER'S GARDENS):
Our young mother had designed a course in black women writers which she proceeded to teach at an upper-class, largely white, women's college (her students were racially mixed). There she shared an office with a white woman feminist scholar who taught poetry and literature. This woman throught black literature consisted predominantly of Nikki Giovanni, whom she had, apparently, once seen inadvertently on TV. Our young mother was appalled. She made a habit of leaving books by Gwendolyn Brooks, Margaret Walker, Toni Morrison, Nella Larsen, Paule Marshall, and Zora Neale Hurston face up on her own desk, which was just behind the white feminist scholar's. For the truly scholarly feminist, she thought, subtlety is enough. She had heard that this scholar was writing a massive study of women's imagination throughout the centuries, and what women's imaginations were better than those displayed on her desk, our mother wondered, what woman's imagination better than her own, for that matter; but she was modest and, as I have said, trusted subtlety.
Time passed. The scholarly tome was published. Dozens of imaginative women paraded across its pages. They were all white. Papers of the status quo, like the TIMES, and liberal inquirers like the NEW YORK REVIEW OF BOOKS and the VILLAGE VOICE, and even feminist magazines such as MS. (for which our young mother was later to work) actually reviewed this work with varying degrees of seriousness. Yet to our young mother, the index alone was sufficient proof that the work could not be really serious scholarship, only serious white female chauvinism. And for this she had little time and less patience.
In the prologue to her book, THE FEMALE IMAGINATION, Patricia Meyer Spacks attempts to explain why her book deals solely with women in the "Anglo-American literary tradition." (She means, of course, white women in the Anglo-American literary tradition.) Speaking of the books she has chosen to study, she writes: "Almost all delineate the lives of white middle-class women. Phyllis Chesler has remarked, 'I have no theory to offer of Third World female psychology in America. . . . As a white woman, I'm reluctant and unable to construct theories about experiences I haven't had.' So am I: the books I talk about describe familiar experiences, belong to a familiar cultural setting; their particular immediacy depends partly on these facts. My bibliography balances works everyone knows (JANE EYRE, MIDDLEMARCH) with works that should be better known (THE STORY OF MARY MACLANE). Sill, the question remains: Why only these?" (my italics).
Why only these? Because they are white, and middle class, and because, to Spacks, female imagination is only that. Perhaps, however, this is the white female imagination is only that. Perhaps, however, this is the white female imagination, one that is "reluctant and unable to construct theories about experiences I haven't had." (Yet Spacks never lived in nineteenth-cnetury Yorkshire, so why theorize about the Brontes?)
[. . .]
It is, apparently, inconvenient, if not downright mind straining, for white women scholars to think of black women as women, perhaps because "woman" (like "man" among white males) is a name they are claiming for themselves, and themselves alone. Racism decrees that if they are now women (years ago they were ladies, but fashions change) then black women must, perforce, be something else. (While they were "ladies," black women could be "women," and so on.)
Seven films. A mini-series. Why are we going to the same well over and over?
In some of the press material the studio's distributing, Greta's film is called "a gift"? A gift for who?
Little girls of color who can try to see themselves reflected in the faces of White women?
Greta tries to present herself as 'woke' but she's nothing but insulting.
And stupid. As we noted in 2018:
As embarrassing as Greta saying in a clip, "All the movies I loved were directed by men."
Really, Greta?
You never saw the work of Nancy Savoca (including DOGFIGHT)? Lee Grant (including STAYING TOGETHER)? Barbra Streisand (YENTL, PRINCE OF TIDES, THE MIRROR HAS TWO FACES)? Elaine May (THE HEARTBREAK KID, A NEW LEAF, MIKEY AND NICKY)? Ida Lupino (THE TROUBLE WITH ANGELS, OUTRAGE, THE BIGAMIST, etc.)? Jane Campion (THE PIANO, THE PORTRAIT OF A LADY, IN THE CUT, etc.)? Lois Weber (FINE FEATHERS, HOW MEN PROPOSE, WHERE ARE MY CHILDREN?, etc.)? Gillian Armstrong (MRS. SOFFEL, MY BRILLIANT CAREER, LITTLE WOMEN, etc)? Betty Thomas (THE BRADY BUNCH MOVIE, DR. DOLITTLE, 28 DAYS, PRIVATE PARTS, etc.)? Kathryn Bigelow (NEAR DARK, POINT BREAK, STRANGE DAYS, DETROIT, ZERO DARK THIRTY, THE HURT LOCKER, etc.). Dorothy Arzner (THE BRIDE WORE RED, CRAIG'S WIFE, CHRISTOPHER STRONG, MERRILY WE GO TO HELL, etc)? Penny Marshall (BIG, AWAKENINGS, RIDING IN CARS WITH BOYS, JUMPING JACK FLASH, etc)? Nora Ephron (SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE, YOU"VE GOT MAIL, JULIE & JULIA)? Jocelyn Moorhouse (A THOUSAND ACRES, HOW TO MAKE AN AMERICAN QUILT, THE DRESSMAKER)? Amy Heckerling (CLUELESS, LOOK WHO'S TALKING, FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH, etc)? Nancy Meyers (THE HOLIDAY, WHAT WOMEN WANT, SOMETHING'S GOTTA GIVE, IT'S COMPLICATED, PARENT TRAP, etc)? Diane Keaton (UNSTRUNG HEROES, HANGING UP)? Sofia Coppola (THE BLING RING, LOST IN TRANSLATION, SOMEWHERE, THE VIRGIN SUICIDES, THE BEGUILED, etc)? Cheryl Hines (SERIOUS MOONLIGHT)? Ava DuVernay (A WRINKLE IN TIME, SELMA, MIDDLE OF NOWHERE)? Penelope Spheeris (WAYNE'S WORLD, THE LITTLE RASCALS, THE BEVERY HILLBILLIES, THE BOYS NEXT DOOR, etc)? Jodie Foster (THE BEAVER, LITTLE MAN TATE, HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS, MONEY MONSTER)? Joan Micklin Silver (CROSSING DELANCY, HESTER STREET, etc)? Mira Nair (MONSOON WEDDING, MISSISSIPPI MASALA, SALAAM BOMBAY, etc)? Kimberly Peirce (STOP-LOSS, CARRIE, BOYS DON'T CRY)? Lisa Cholodenko (THE KIDS ARE ALRIGHT, LAUREL CANYON, HIGH ART)? Mimi Leder (DEEP IMPACT, THE PEACEMAKER)? Martha Coolidge (RAMBLING ROSE, VALLEY GIRL, REAL GENIUS, etc)? Karyn Kusama (GIRL FIGHT, JENNIFER'S BODY, AEON FLUX)? Allison Anders (MI VIDA LOCA, GAS FOOD AND LODGING, GRACE OF MY HEART)? Anne Fletcher (THE PROPOSAL, STEP UP, 27 DRESSES, THE GUILT TRIP, etc)? Randa Haines (CHILDREN OF A LESSER GOD, DANCE WITH ME, THE DOCTOR, etc)? Gina Prince-Bythewood (THE SECRET LIFE OF BEES, LOVE & BASKETBALL, BEYOND THE LIGHTS, etc.)? Patty Jenkins (MONSTER, WONDER WOMAN)?
Greta was born in 1983. Her formative years include the 90s -- check out the list of women who couldn't make a film Greta enjoyed: Amy Heckerling, Penny Marshall, Jocelyn Moorhouse, Nora Eprhon, Kathryn Bigelow, Barbra Streisand, Nancy Meyers, Diane Keaton, Penelope Spheeris, Jane Campion, Ida Lupino, Gillian Armstrong, Betty Thomas, Lois Weber, Dorothy Arzner, Nancy Savoca, Elaine May, Jodie Foster . . .
How sad and pathetic Greta is.
You'd think someone that stupid would try to educate herself. You'd be so wrong.
She's offered a movie based on a book about what life is like after the Civil War . . . for White women. What a brave choice she's made (that was sarcasm).
Hate to break it to Greta and her fellow White Klanswomen but the White experience after the Civil War really wasn't the big story -- or even the main one.
LITTLE WOMEN has always had a whiff of racism about it. Even when Cukor's film version opened. In fact, at the time VANITY FAIR observed that the film "brought out from their lairs elderly ladies who all but drove up in fringed surreys to see their first film since BIRTH OF A NATION."
Someday we may get movies that speak to the world we live in right now. If that happens, it's doubtful it will be due to any directing effort on the part of Greta.
We make the world we want. We make it with our choices.
Greta decided the world needed a movie based on the novel LITTLE WOMEN.
Of course, the world already had films -- plural -- based upon LITTLE WOMEN.
Many films.
In 1917, Alexander Butler directed the first known film of Louisa May Alcott's novel. It was a silent film as was the one a year later directed by Harley Knoles. In 1933, George Cukor directed the classic version starring Katharine Hepburn. In 1949, Mervyn LeRoy directed the embarrassment starring June Allyson -- it was an abomination and Greta should be happy for that -- she hasn't directed the worst version of the film, just the second worst version.
In 1978, the novel was a two-part mini-series with a cast led by Susan Dey. In 1994, Gillian Armstrong's version was released and it remains the only version to seriously rival George Cukor's. 2018 found another film of the novel, this one directed by Clare Niederpruem.
And now Greta.
The only question is: Why?
A gift to little girls?
How sweet but maybe a real gift to all little girls would be a film that featured little girls of various races and not just White little girls?
Some will wrongly insist that the film must be great beause it is on a some best-of lists. They're not grading the film, they're grading intentions. It's a bad film, it's poorly paced and Greta's trying to improve upon Alcott and the characters aren't the ones you know because she's given 21st century sensibilities.
Well . . . the sensibilities of 21st century White women who live sheltered lives and never bother to look around and think, "Where are the people of color?"
That's the question that needs to be asked of Greta.
LITTLE WOMEN is done. No one needs another movie.
Where's the film of MOSES, MAN OF THE MOUNTAIN, for example?
Or is it Oprah -- and only Oprah -- who has a responsibility to bring novels by women of color to the small screen and the big screen?
Zora Neale Hurston?
There was a time, before Alice Walker spent years bringing her back into the public awareness, when Zora was largely unknown.
Why is it we applaud White women for doing tired films based on books written by White women?
At what point do we start demanding that these prissy little women start stepping beyond their comfort zones and stop re-directing the same damn film over and over.
LITTLE WOMEN didn't need another film. Books by other women? Yeah, there are tons. Stop applauding the nonsense that Greta's serving.
Let's quote from Alice Walker, from her essay "One Child of One's Own" (which can be found in Alice's essay collection IN SEARCH OF OUR MOTHER'S GARDENS):
Our young mother had designed a course in black women writers which she proceeded to teach at an upper-class, largely white, women's college (her students were racially mixed). There she shared an office with a white woman feminist scholar who taught poetry and literature. This woman throught black literature consisted predominantly of Nikki Giovanni, whom she had, apparently, once seen inadvertently on TV. Our young mother was appalled. She made a habit of leaving books by Gwendolyn Brooks, Margaret Walker, Toni Morrison, Nella Larsen, Paule Marshall, and Zora Neale Hurston face up on her own desk, which was just behind the white feminist scholar's. For the truly scholarly feminist, she thought, subtlety is enough. She had heard that this scholar was writing a massive study of women's imagination throughout the centuries, and what women's imaginations were better than those displayed on her desk, our mother wondered, what woman's imagination better than her own, for that matter; but she was modest and, as I have said, trusted subtlety.
Time passed. The scholarly tome was published. Dozens of imaginative women paraded across its pages. They were all white. Papers of the status quo, like the TIMES, and liberal inquirers like the NEW YORK REVIEW OF BOOKS and the VILLAGE VOICE, and even feminist magazines such as MS. (for which our young mother was later to work) actually reviewed this work with varying degrees of seriousness. Yet to our young mother, the index alone was sufficient proof that the work could not be really serious scholarship, only serious white female chauvinism. And for this she had little time and less patience.
In the prologue to her book, THE FEMALE IMAGINATION, Patricia Meyer Spacks attempts to explain why her book deals solely with women in the "Anglo-American literary tradition." (She means, of course, white women in the Anglo-American literary tradition.) Speaking of the books she has chosen to study, she writes: "Almost all delineate the lives of white middle-class women. Phyllis Chesler has remarked, 'I have no theory to offer of Third World female psychology in America. . . . As a white woman, I'm reluctant and unable to construct theories about experiences I haven't had.' So am I: the books I talk about describe familiar experiences, belong to a familiar cultural setting; their particular immediacy depends partly on these facts. My bibliography balances works everyone knows (JANE EYRE, MIDDLEMARCH) with works that should be better known (THE STORY OF MARY MACLANE). Sill, the question remains: Why only these?" (my italics).
Why only these? Because they are white, and middle class, and because, to Spacks, female imagination is only that. Perhaps, however, this is the white female imagination is only that. Perhaps, however, this is the white female imagination, one that is "reluctant and unable to construct theories about experiences I haven't had." (Yet Spacks never lived in nineteenth-cnetury Yorkshire, so why theorize about the Brontes?)
[. . .]
It is, apparently, inconvenient, if not downright mind straining, for white women scholars to think of black women as women, perhaps because "woman" (like "man" among white males) is a name they are claiming for themselves, and themselves alone. Racism decrees that if they are now women (years ago they were ladies, but fashions change) then black women must, perforce, be something else. (While they were "ladies," black women could be "women," and so on.)
Seven films. A mini-series. Why are we going to the same well over and over?
In some of the press material the studio's distributing, Greta's film is called "a gift"? A gift for who?
Little girls of color who can try to see themselves reflected in the faces of White women?
Greta tries to present herself as 'woke' but she's nothing but insulting.
And stupid. As we noted in 2018:
As embarrassing as Greta saying in a clip, "All the movies I loved were directed by men."
Really, Greta?
You never saw the work of Nancy Savoca (including DOGFIGHT)? Lee Grant (including STAYING TOGETHER)? Barbra Streisand (YENTL, PRINCE OF TIDES, THE MIRROR HAS TWO FACES)? Elaine May (THE HEARTBREAK KID, A NEW LEAF, MIKEY AND NICKY)? Ida Lupino (THE TROUBLE WITH ANGELS, OUTRAGE, THE BIGAMIST, etc.)? Jane Campion (THE PIANO, THE PORTRAIT OF A LADY, IN THE CUT, etc.)? Lois Weber (FINE FEATHERS, HOW MEN PROPOSE, WHERE ARE MY CHILDREN?, etc.)? Gillian Armstrong (MRS. SOFFEL, MY BRILLIANT CAREER, LITTLE WOMEN, etc)? Betty Thomas (THE BRADY BUNCH MOVIE, DR. DOLITTLE, 28 DAYS, PRIVATE PARTS, etc.)? Kathryn Bigelow (NEAR DARK, POINT BREAK, STRANGE DAYS, DETROIT, ZERO DARK THIRTY, THE HURT LOCKER, etc.). Dorothy Arzner (THE BRIDE WORE RED, CRAIG'S WIFE, CHRISTOPHER STRONG, MERRILY WE GO TO HELL, etc)? Penny Marshall (BIG, AWAKENINGS, RIDING IN CARS WITH BOYS, JUMPING JACK FLASH, etc)? Nora Ephron (SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE, YOU"VE GOT MAIL, JULIE & JULIA)? Jocelyn Moorhouse (A THOUSAND ACRES, HOW TO MAKE AN AMERICAN QUILT, THE DRESSMAKER)? Amy Heckerling (CLUELESS, LOOK WHO'S TALKING, FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH, etc)? Nancy Meyers (THE HOLIDAY, WHAT WOMEN WANT, SOMETHING'S GOTTA GIVE, IT'S COMPLICATED, PARENT TRAP, etc)? Diane Keaton (UNSTRUNG HEROES, HANGING UP)? Sofia Coppola (THE BLING RING, LOST IN TRANSLATION, SOMEWHERE, THE VIRGIN SUICIDES, THE BEGUILED, etc)? Cheryl Hines (SERIOUS MOONLIGHT)? Ava DuVernay (A WRINKLE IN TIME, SELMA, MIDDLE OF NOWHERE)? Penelope Spheeris (WAYNE'S WORLD, THE LITTLE RASCALS, THE BEVERY HILLBILLIES, THE BOYS NEXT DOOR, etc)? Jodie Foster (THE BEAVER, LITTLE MAN TATE, HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS, MONEY MONSTER)? Joan Micklin Silver (CROSSING DELANCY, HESTER STREET, etc)? Mira Nair (MONSOON WEDDING, MISSISSIPPI MASALA, SALAAM BOMBAY, etc)? Kimberly Peirce (STOP-LOSS, CARRIE, BOYS DON'T CRY)? Lisa Cholodenko (THE KIDS ARE ALRIGHT, LAUREL CANYON, HIGH ART)? Mimi Leder (DEEP IMPACT, THE PEACEMAKER)? Martha Coolidge (RAMBLING ROSE, VALLEY GIRL, REAL GENIUS, etc)? Karyn Kusama (GIRL FIGHT, JENNIFER'S BODY, AEON FLUX)? Allison Anders (MI VIDA LOCA, GAS FOOD AND LODGING, GRACE OF MY HEART)? Anne Fletcher (THE PROPOSAL, STEP UP, 27 DRESSES, THE GUILT TRIP, etc)? Randa Haines (CHILDREN OF A LESSER GOD, DANCE WITH ME, THE DOCTOR, etc)? Gina Prince-Bythewood (THE SECRET LIFE OF BEES, LOVE & BASKETBALL, BEYOND THE LIGHTS, etc.)? Patty Jenkins (MONSTER, WONDER WOMAN)?
Greta was born in 1983. Her formative years include the 90s -- check out the list of women who couldn't make a film Greta enjoyed: Amy Heckerling, Penny Marshall, Jocelyn Moorhouse, Nora Eprhon, Kathryn Bigelow, Barbra Streisand, Nancy Meyers, Diane Keaton, Penelope Spheeris, Jane Campion, Ida Lupino, Gillian Armstrong, Betty Thomas, Lois Weber, Dorothy Arzner, Nancy Savoca, Elaine May, Jodie Foster . . .
How sad and pathetic Greta is.
You'd think someone that stupid would try to educate herself. You'd be so wrong.
She's offered a movie based on a book about what life is like after the Civil War . . . for White women. What a brave choice she's made (that was sarcasm).
Hate to break it to Greta and her fellow White Klanswomen but the White experience after the Civil War really wasn't the big story -- or even the main one.
LITTLE WOMEN has always had a whiff of racism about it. Even when Cukor's film version opened. In fact, at the time VANITY FAIR observed that the film "brought out from their lairs elderly ladies who all but drove up in fringed surreys to see their first film since BIRTH OF A NATION."
Someday we may get movies that speak to the world we live in right now. If that happens, it's doubtful it will be due to any directing effort on the part of Greta.
A baker's dozen of classic AMERICAN DAD episodes
AMERICAN DAD, which started airing new episodes on FOX and now airs new episodes on TBS, has been going for how many seasons?
Seriously, how many?
Go to WIKIPEDIA and be told one thing -- actually two things -- the real seasons and how FOX counted them but go to TBS or ADULT SWIM on demand and grasp that there's an entire other system of numbering the seasons.
We're not joking. At ADULT SWIM, the latest season was Season 14 which concluded with episode 20 "The Hand That Rocks The Rogu" which first aired on August 26, 2019 on TBS. WIKIPEDIA agrees with that title and that it was episode 20; however, they argue it was Season 16.
However, you want to count the seasons, it was episode 276 of the series.
Early on, it became clear that Roger needed to be more than the subplot. "Stan Slickers II: The Legend of Ollie's Gold" has a so-so main story about Stan going nuts and Oliver North and Greg and Terry taping everything but the real gold is in the B-story where Roger proves to Klaus that he can be sexually harassed.
Other things that have emerged over the seasons? Roger's best foil is actually Hayley. When they are in opposition to one another, hilarity ensues. Roger also works well with Jeff and, if there's anger and envy involved, with Klaus.
Here's a baker's dozen of the best episodes of AMERICAN DAD.
1) "Julia Rogerts" written by Kathryn Borel
"Is my dick showing? Like Cher's did?" asks Roger while wearing Cher's "If I Could Turn Back Time" outfit. Roger's trying to help Stan fix a problem with Francine but ends up carried off by a tornado to a simpler place where he becomes Julia Roberts in SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY and falls for Jesse (voiced by Dermot Mulroney). He even has a service rooster, Percy. And a secret tunnel to steal fudge.
2) "Jenny Fromdabloc" written by Laura McCreary
Steve wants to be big man of his group of friends. But Snot's feeling bad so Roger becomes Steve's cousin Jenny who, Steve explains, has never met Snot before because -- "No one's doing the math," Roger tells Steve. Snot becomes a man. Or does he?
3) "A.T. The Abusive Terrestrial" written by Dan Vebber
Roger finds himself trapped in an abusive relationship mirroring so many of his favorite LIFETIME movies like PLEASE KEVIN, NOT IN THE FACE. He fears he'll end up like actress Daphne Zuniga -- on ABC FAMILY! He needs Steve to rescue him.
4) "Roger's Baby" written by Teresa Hsiao
For Jeff to return to human form (don't ask), he has to be birthed and Roger's just the alien to do it. Along the way, only Klaus understands the baby gift a pregnant Roger truly wants while Hayley can do nothing to please Roger. We also get Roger doing Madonna's "Papa Don't Preach."
5) "Stan's Night Out" written by Jim Bernstein
Hayley and Roger go to the mall and argue over who is prettier. Klaus finds a Craig's List posting that leads the two to the food court. "No babies for Roger," may be the funniest line in the episode. The supporting story, involving Stan, is at its best when Francine's attempting to write a song and then, later, at a sushi bar.
6) "The Enlightenment of Raji-Baba" written by Joe Chandler and Nic Wegener
Roger's persona Tasha grows too old for modeling and he's in despair. Hayley knows what will center him and cheer him up: This new yoga place she's going to. Roger quickly takes over the yoga studio and quickly amasses a following that he plans to mass suicide. Tough times for Roger though, in Nirvana with Hayley, he learns Carla and Coach were never a couple on CHEERS.
7) "The Dentist Wife" written by Charlie Suozzi
"Son of a bitch! He barged me!" Francine declares at one point. Roger becomes obsessed with a dentist's wife, Meredith. At first, he tries to join her book club but space camp curriculum did not prepare him for book discussions. So he torches every costume he has and declares he's a nobody before deciding he will become Meredith.
8) "News Glance With Genevieve Vavance" written by Ali Waller
Concerned about Garbage Island, Hayley, always wanting to make a difference, applies for a local public access news show only to learn it's Roger's show. His persona is Genevieve Vavance. And, yes, he might let Hayley do a report on Garbage Island . . . if she stages Steve's kidnapping. Genevieve goes on to accuse Stan and Francine of kidnapping their own son in the desperate bid for ratings gold.
9) "Pride Before The Fall" written by Soren Bowie
Hayley's plan for her and Jeff to live in her bedroom forever as she continues to enroll at her two-year community college forever hit a snag when Roger, tired of living in the attic, wants that bedroom for himself. So Roger becomes student Lacey Krinklehole who starred in her high school's production of PIRATES OF PENZANCE. Roger/Lacey, "The high school newspaper declared it . . . this year's musical." When all of his efforts to get Hayley to graduate fail, Roger kills off Lacey so that the college will give Hayley an automatic A.
10) "A Star Is Reborn" written by Brett Cawley and Robert Maitis
Okay, the main storyline is so-so. But the supporting storyline is hilarious. Hayley deletes some of Roger's BONES episodes off TIVO and his slow turn to her is hilarious. When Steve defends his sister by insisting the quality of BONES has fallen off, Roger does an equally hilarious slow turn to Steve. Then Roger 'crates' them. The BONES and the crating make this episode.
11) "A Boy Named Michael" written by Erik Richter
Greg and Terry are bored and need to adopt another child: 10-year-old Michael from Russia. People often ask us how happy are you that you got to adopt your gorgeous daughter? And the answer is happy . . . -ish," explains Terry. Stand agrees to go to the party celebrating the news only because of the "awesome baton collection" that Greg and Terry have under their bed. Francine pauses a moment and then advises, "Stan, just wash your hands after." The party impresses Roger -- especially Liev Shreiber and his neck scarf. Roger, fearing the Smith family is beneath him, kicks the boy off an airplane mid flight and assumes Michael's identity.
12) "Shallow Vows" written by Rick Wiener and Kenny Schwartz
Roger becomes Jeannie Gold, wedding planner, for Francine and Stan's wedding anniversary. Jeannie is full of advice and more, "This is my emergency wedding kit -- everything you need for last minute snafoos. Needle and thread, band-aids for sore heels, fake hymens for those not so well behaved Middle Eastern brides -- these beauties are packed full of ox blood. Trust me, that bedroom will look like the set of a Wes Craven movie the next morning." And, "Stan, remember the first rule of any wedding is that the bride is always beautiful. The second rule you can read on my website. You have to be 18 to log on. I have some sexy barnyard stuff on there that is not for everyone. I could get in a lot of trouble. If you do decide to check it out, you need to clear your history right away. You may need to uninstall your browser. I'm telling you, scrub that thing clean. If you think you're being too cautious, you're not. They will take us both to jail." In the end, Jennie is destroyed as a wedding planner -- soggy bag of Chips Ahoy and all.
13) "Personal Assistant" written by Jeff Kauffmann
Roger is sick and can't keep his personas going so Stan fills in. Stan does a half-assed job and the personas go nuts. Roger has to become Jeannie Gold to take on Ricky Spanish. Not to be missed.
Seriously, how many?
Go to WIKIPEDIA and be told one thing -- actually two things -- the real seasons and how FOX counted them but go to TBS or ADULT SWIM on demand and grasp that there's an entire other system of numbering the seasons.
We're not joking. At ADULT SWIM, the latest season was Season 14 which concluded with episode 20 "The Hand That Rocks The Rogu" which first aired on August 26, 2019 on TBS. WIKIPEDIA agrees with that title and that it was episode 20; however, they argue it was Season 16.
However, you want to count the seasons, it was episode 276 of the series.
Early on, it became clear that Roger needed to be more than the subplot. "Stan Slickers II: The Legend of Ollie's Gold" has a so-so main story about Stan going nuts and Oliver North and Greg and Terry taping everything but the real gold is in the B-story where Roger proves to Klaus that he can be sexually harassed.
Other things that have emerged over the seasons? Roger's best foil is actually Hayley. When they are in opposition to one another, hilarity ensues. Roger also works well with Jeff and, if there's anger and envy involved, with Klaus.
Here's a baker's dozen of the best episodes of AMERICAN DAD.
1) "Julia Rogerts" written by Kathryn Borel
"Is my dick showing? Like Cher's did?" asks Roger while wearing Cher's "If I Could Turn Back Time" outfit. Roger's trying to help Stan fix a problem with Francine but ends up carried off by a tornado to a simpler place where he becomes Julia Roberts in SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY and falls for Jesse (voiced by Dermot Mulroney). He even has a service rooster, Percy. And a secret tunnel to steal fudge.
2) "Jenny Fromdabloc" written by Laura McCreary
Steve wants to be big man of his group of friends. But Snot's feeling bad so Roger becomes Steve's cousin Jenny who, Steve explains, has never met Snot before because -- "No one's doing the math," Roger tells Steve. Snot becomes a man. Or does he?
3) "A.T. The Abusive Terrestrial" written by Dan Vebber
Roger finds himself trapped in an abusive relationship mirroring so many of his favorite LIFETIME movies like PLEASE KEVIN, NOT IN THE FACE. He fears he'll end up like actress Daphne Zuniga -- on ABC FAMILY! He needs Steve to rescue him.
4) "Roger's Baby" written by Teresa Hsiao
For Jeff to return to human form (don't ask), he has to be birthed and Roger's just the alien to do it. Along the way, only Klaus understands the baby gift a pregnant Roger truly wants while Hayley can do nothing to please Roger. We also get Roger doing Madonna's "Papa Don't Preach."
5) "Stan's Night Out" written by Jim Bernstein
Hayley and Roger go to the mall and argue over who is prettier. Klaus finds a Craig's List posting that leads the two to the food court. "No babies for Roger," may be the funniest line in the episode. The supporting story, involving Stan, is at its best when Francine's attempting to write a song and then, later, at a sushi bar.
6) "The Enlightenment of Raji-Baba" written by Joe Chandler and Nic Wegener
Roger's persona Tasha grows too old for modeling and he's in despair. Hayley knows what will center him and cheer him up: This new yoga place she's going to. Roger quickly takes over the yoga studio and quickly amasses a following that he plans to mass suicide. Tough times for Roger though, in Nirvana with Hayley, he learns Carla and Coach were never a couple on CHEERS.
7) "The Dentist Wife" written by Charlie Suozzi
"Son of a bitch! He barged me!" Francine declares at one point. Roger becomes obsessed with a dentist's wife, Meredith. At first, he tries to join her book club but space camp curriculum did not prepare him for book discussions. So he torches every costume he has and declares he's a nobody before deciding he will become Meredith.
8) "News Glance With Genevieve Vavance" written by Ali Waller
Concerned about Garbage Island, Hayley, always wanting to make a difference, applies for a local public access news show only to learn it's Roger's show. His persona is Genevieve Vavance. And, yes, he might let Hayley do a report on Garbage Island . . . if she stages Steve's kidnapping. Genevieve goes on to accuse Stan and Francine of kidnapping their own son in the desperate bid for ratings gold.
9) "Pride Before The Fall" written by Soren Bowie
Hayley's plan for her and Jeff to live in her bedroom forever as she continues to enroll at her two-year community college forever hit a snag when Roger, tired of living in the attic, wants that bedroom for himself. So Roger becomes student Lacey Krinklehole who starred in her high school's production of PIRATES OF PENZANCE. Roger/Lacey, "The high school newspaper declared it . . . this year's musical." When all of his efforts to get Hayley to graduate fail, Roger kills off Lacey so that the college will give Hayley an automatic A.
10) "A Star Is Reborn" written by Brett Cawley and Robert Maitis
Okay, the main storyline is so-so. But the supporting storyline is hilarious. Hayley deletes some of Roger's BONES episodes off TIVO and his slow turn to her is hilarious. When Steve defends his sister by insisting the quality of BONES has fallen off, Roger does an equally hilarious slow turn to Steve. Then Roger 'crates' them. The BONES and the crating make this episode.
11) "A Boy Named Michael" written by Erik Richter
Greg and Terry are bored and need to adopt another child: 10-year-old Michael from Russia. People often ask us how happy are you that you got to adopt your gorgeous daughter? And the answer is happy . . . -ish," explains Terry. Stand agrees to go to the party celebrating the news only because of the "awesome baton collection" that Greg and Terry have under their bed. Francine pauses a moment and then advises, "Stan, just wash your hands after." The party impresses Roger -- especially Liev Shreiber and his neck scarf. Roger, fearing the Smith family is beneath him, kicks the boy off an airplane mid flight and assumes Michael's identity.
12) "Shallow Vows" written by Rick Wiener and Kenny Schwartz
Roger becomes Jeannie Gold, wedding planner, for Francine and Stan's wedding anniversary. Jeannie is full of advice and more, "This is my emergency wedding kit -- everything you need for last minute snafoos. Needle and thread, band-aids for sore heels, fake hymens for those not so well behaved Middle Eastern brides -- these beauties are packed full of ox blood. Trust me, that bedroom will look like the set of a Wes Craven movie the next morning." And, "Stan, remember the first rule of any wedding is that the bride is always beautiful. The second rule you can read on my website. You have to be 18 to log on. I have some sexy barnyard stuff on there that is not for everyone. I could get in a lot of trouble. If you do decide to check it out, you need to clear your history right away. You may need to uninstall your browser. I'm telling you, scrub that thing clean. If you think you're being too cautious, you're not. They will take us both to jail." In the end, Jennie is destroyed as a wedding planner -- soggy bag of Chips Ahoy and all.
13) "Personal Assistant" written by Jeff Kauffmann
Roger is sick and can't keep his personas going so Stan fills in. Stan does a half-assed job and the personas go nuts. Roger has to become Jeannie Gold to take on Ricky Spanish. Not to be missed.
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