So many questions popping up lately. Let's start with just one: How many bocce courts does one city need?
We think it's a fair question as Lindsey Bennett insists upon going home to home throughout Palm Springs plopping bocce courts all over.
DESERT FLIPPERS is the HGTV show that Lindsey and her husband Eric star in. Lindsey's supposedly known for her pizzazz. We don't see it.
What we see is a Wisconsin-ite coming to the California desert and imposing bland on home after home.
Here's how Lindse 'renovates:' tear down a wall to make a kitchen and a living room -- two rooms -- into one room while swearing that she's providing an "open concept" when all she's really doing is making it look like an efficiency apartment, then she sprays everything inside with white paint before creating that mud plop in the backyard that she dubs a bocce court. If there's any extra space at all? She's going to turn it into a little suite ("casita"). It's a cookie cutter renovation on home after home.
Another problem issue is her idea of what a lawn must be. In any city or town, her foolish belief that a lawn must be lush greenery belongs to another time yet still she brings in the sod and rolls it out on yard after yard. For doing this in the desert city of Palm Springs, she should be stoned. Eco-friendly gardens can be very attractive.
And what's with the pools and spas she keeps adding? Has she never heard of a stone-lined retention pool that can provide water for plants? Time and again, we see that she has no idea of what the native plants to the area are or why you need to use them (pollunation, among other reasons).
Worst of all? The Wisconsinite does not like Spanish architecture. So what the heck is she doing in Palm Springs?
Mainly tearing down stucco exterior walls, demolishing arched doorways and arched entryways in her attempt to stomp out any touches of Spanish artchitecture. Even arched windows ("So, good to see this thing gone," she snaps) are a problem for Lindsey. We're not really sure if it's a lack of imagination or xenophobia but it does remind us how HGTV could use a splash of color in their hosts.
Other than that, we're mainly bothered by how, time and again, Eric and Lindsey are surprised to find a wall they're in the midst of tearing down is a load bearing wall. How do you not know what a load bearing wall is? How do you not look around a room and know what a load bearing wall is?
Now if you're job and/or hobby has nothing to do with remodeling or architecture or building inspection, maybe you have no clue. But if, for ten years, you've been flipping homes for a living, you damn sure should know what a load bearing wall is.
Our favorite moments are when Eric tries to conceal just how pissed he's getting with Lindsey when she's fussing around. "I could have been done twenty minutes ago," he huffs at one point when she interrupts his hammering or, while he's working on the plumbing under the sink and she decides to start tugging on his pants, he snaps, "Seriously, get out of here."
Eric's funny. Sometimes actually funny like when he plays a prank on Lindsey and, after, reveals that "yatzi" is their safe word -- before getting embarrassed and adding that's a family safe word and not a couple safe word. Sometimes he's funny because what he says is so corny. When Lindsey's a good sport and laughs anyway, she's immensely more likable.
We often marvel over Lindsey's tastes in outfits -- the dress, for example, that was off shoulder on one side and came above the knee on the right side but did everything else on the other. The shoes she paired with it only made it scarier. Another time she wore a dress (that Eric compared to a bouquet of flowers due to the floral print) with some ankle boots that a sex kitten couldn't have pulled off. She also frequently wears skirts that look like the bland backsplashes she can't seem to live without.
Bland. Lindsey Bland should be her name. She whitens or greys every interior.
We'd love to see Lindsey meet
Tracy Metro.
Tracy hosts NETFLIX's HOUSE DOCTOR. In this show, American Tracy helps British home owners with the 'staging' that can sell a house. Time and again, Tracy will note the bland (the same bland Lindsey keeps inflicting on Palm Springs) and tell them that, if it doesn't look like someone lives in the home, no prospective buyer is going to be able to picture living in the home.
Tracy's got enough personality to host the program all by herself. There's nothing bland about her.
But as bland as Lindsey's tastes can be, we'll take her over the lifeless CBS SUNDAY MORNING with Jane Pauley which always plays out like a rebroadcast on DECADES -- despite being a live and new program. Doubt us? This Sunday's big features? "The 1968 Democratic Convention in Chicago" and "singer-songwriter Art Garfunkel" who last released an album eleven years ago. That Jane Pauley, how she manages to work one whole day a week
and keep up with the times, we'll never know. Again, so many questions.
