It looks bad for Jussie Smollett these days, as Isaiah notes in THE WORLD TODAY JUST NUTS "Early April Fool."
But when one door closes, another opens.
There are many roles that Jussie can still play even if, as some are saying he should, he ends up behind bars.
1) THE AIMEE SEMPLE MCPHERSON STORY. Prison would be the perfect place to stage an all male production of a play -- or musical? -- about the 'faith healer' and con artist who staged her own kidnapping for greater publicity. Jussie would be a vision in white and, as Aretha might have asked, "how'd he get his pants so tight?"
2) I LOST MY BREATH UNDER WATER. In prison or out, Jussie would be perfect to play New Jersey state Congressman David Friedland who, with his father, took approximately $360,000 in kickbacks and, when caught by the FBI and convicted in court, decided to skip out on sentencing, go to the Bahamas and fake his own death in a scuba diving 'accident.' David, like Jussie, thought he was too smooth and ended up opening a chain of scuba shops after his 'death' which is how US authorities finally caught up with him.
3) KIDNAPPED FOR AN F. Jussie would play the 19-year-old college student Aftab Aslam who, after receiving an F in English at Georgia's Gwinnett College, faked his own kidnapping to get sympathy from his parents. He texted them that if they contacted the police, Aftab would be killed. Eight days later, he returned to his parents insisting that he had been tortured and held prisoner. He ended up not only with an F but also with three felony charges.
4) ALAN KNIGHT IS SLEEPING. In this production, Jussie would play Alan Knight, a man from Wales who successfully and repeatedly pretended to be in a coma throughout a two year period every time the police caught on to yet another of his cons. If he's out of prison when he plays this role, we would recommend Ellen Page play Knight's wife who was in on the cons and the fake comas.
5) MARCH? I CAN'T EVEN WALK! The big scene in this courtroom drama would have Jussie crying -- like he did with Robin Roberts last week on GOOD MORNING AMERICA -- in a courtroom while he played 27-year-old Jeffrey Rush who faked being paralyzed to con the government out of $300,000 and to avoid deploying to Iraq. As he cries in court, Rush (Jussie) pleads for the judge to at least show mercy on his wife (again, Ellen Page) who was also in on the con.
6) TURN YOUR HEAD AND COUGH. Jussie plays 51-year-old Alodis Reynolds. In this drama, his girlfriend (again, Ellen Page -- she really needs the work) helps Alodis raise money in Oklahoma from their church because Alodis has cancer. Only, he doesn't have cancer and when the girlfriend finds out the truth, she turns him in to the police.
7) THE NATHAN PHILLIPS STORY. This one is a challenge for Jussie because he can actually sing. But he'll play Native American Nathan Phillips which will require him to ask where he can buy some moccasins and bang a drum out of rhythm while snarling at young children. He'll be presented as a national hero and Vietnam War veteran only for people to discover he lied -- over and over, he lied -- about serving in the Vietnam War. Ellen Page shows up for this production for no real reason other than she needs a check. Sarah Jessica Parker also joins the cast in the small role of Nathan's service dog.
8) BUT I PAYED THE PREMIUMS! In this comic adventure, set in China, Jussie plays 34-year-old He Yong who fakes his own death for the life insurance money. But as he hides out, the police tell his wife (Ellen Page -- she really needs the money) that her husband is presumed dead. Posting to social media her grief, the woman then drowns herself and her two children (both played by Ellen Page who desperately needs money). This leads to the pivotal scene where a grieving He Yung cries out, over the grave of his wife, "I'm so stupid for hiding my plan from you." Like Jussie, He Yong missed the point. The stupidity was staging his own death, not just forgetting to tell his wife that he had.
9) I'LL HAVE WHAT I'M HAVING. In this romantic comedy, directed by Jussie supporter Ava Duvernay, Jussie is a carefree New Yorker who falls for an angry misanthrope played by Ellen Page. Ellen only grows angrier when she learns that Jussie is able to fake his orgasms. The film is loosely based on the PSYCHOLOGY TODAY article entitled "MEN WHO FAKE ORGASMS."
10) SOMEWHERE JAMES DEAN IS SCREWING MARILYN MONROE. In this surrealistic fantasy drama, James Dean faked his own death to escape the pressure of fame. Jussie plays James Dean who then convinces Marilyn Monroe to fake her own death as well. Ellen Page has a small role as Sal Mineo and repeatedly cries, "Do you think the end of the world will come at nighttime?"
