People who care will be there. Maybe you won't? If so, here are ten reasons to explain your absence from this very important event.
1) You're just about to explore adult diapers in your NCIS Jethro fan fiction.
2) You'd rather spend your time pulling the wings off butterflies.
3) You're a War Criminal and know you won't be welcome.
4) You actually enjoy meaningless murders and deadly destruction.
5) You don't feel that The PATRIOT Act went far enough.
6) The tattoo on your arm reads "Thin the heard" and the one above your ass crack reads "Time for a culling."
7) Someone's got to fill the front row at that Kid Rock concert in Atlantic City.
8) The Northern California Renaissance Faire in Hollister is taking place and you were really hoping to attend and, fingers crossed, score with your second cousin.
9) Someone has to stay home and watch THE HALLMARK CHANNEL's 2018 COUNTDOWN TO CHRISTMAS PREVIEW.
10) You're attending a dinner party thrown by Michelle Obama and Bully Boy Bush where the theme is Learning To Love The Destroyers.
