Not even one.
The new HULU anthology series is a disappointment from the get go.
For example, 11 minutes into a show before it offers a twist is way too long -- a twist or any indication that it's a science fiction show.
Robert Buckley is appealing enough as looking for true love Adam. And MOM's Matt Jones is good as the sidekick.
But Lea Michele?
The hour long episode is about a matchmaking service that makes the matches -- including the person you get fixed up with.
For us to give a damn about two characters before we get the syfy angle, we need two characters we can like and relate to.
Unless there's a major John Ford Noonan revival on the repertory circuit, Lea's got no where to go as an actress because she enters every scene as if she's screaming at and playing to the back row of a crowded theater.
The only time she appears natural?
When her character Amanda is speaking directly into the camera for a matchmaking interview.
Grasp that, Lea cannot convincingly act opposite another actor.
Put her on the stage where her grimaces and contortions -- far from a camera -- won't look so freakish.
DIMENSION 404 is completely freakish.
Episode two is even worse.
Patton Oswalt.
How does he keep getting work?
Let alone the lead in an episode.
If Lea is outrageously over-the-top, Patton underwhelms with his one-note performances.
More to the point, who wants to be a five-foot-three, overweight, middle-aged man?
We doubt even Patton wants that.
We can't imagine any viewers want it.
He's like a drummer thinking he can front a rock band.
Sarah Hyland is charming opposite him -- a testament to her talent -- but his role really called for Joel McHale or someone similar.
The whole syfy point of the first episode?
Matchmakers are cloning.
The point of the second episode?
Twelve minutes in, we're closer to the syfy twist -- closer but still not there.
No thought is going into the writing of these scripts.
There's no effort to create good characters.
There's no effort to create twists and turns.
A one line synopsis is fleshed out with dialogue (bad dialogue) and we're supposed to consider that the height of a science fiction anthology series?
Neither episode is worth watching.
They're cheesy episodes that are poorly written and go for camp -- but not gay camp, some sort of dweeb camp.
Which is why we checked out in the middle of the third episode.
A science fiction show that makes GOOSEBUMPS look like PSYCHO is always going to be a hard sell.
Even more so when it's an anthology series.
AMERICAN CRIME and AMERICAN HORROR STORY are a kind of anthology series. The ABC drama and FX horror story shows tell a different story each season.
Most anthology shows have told a different story each week.
And most of them failed.
Academy Award winner Loretta Young managed to steer THE LORETTA YOUNG SHOW (also known as LETTER TO LORETTA) through eight seasons but many others flopped (THE RICHARD BOONE SHOW, THE O HENRY PLAYHOUSE, THE LLOYD BRIDGES SHOW, THE DANNY THOMAS HOUR, THE BARBARA STANWYCK SHOW, CBS TELEVISION WORKSHOP, CELANESE THEATRE, etc).
DIMENSION 404 doesn't have enough ambition to be rated a failure.
"Cows don't leave the slaughter house, steaks do," Joel McHale insists in the first episode. "Chew on that."
Sadly, there's nothing to chew on in this series.
It's wafer thin and thought free.
Consider it HULU's worst and, after DEADBEAT, who would have thought the streaming service could offer anything worse?
