Sheila does.
It's SANTA CLARITA DIET and it's something akin to THE ADAMS FAMILY or THE MUNSTERS in that it's a sitcom with a horror slant.
Sheila and Joel are a married couple played by Drew Barrymore and Timothy Olyphant.
They have a daughter Abby (Liv Hewson) and their home is bordered by one couple where the husband Rick (Richard T. Jones) is a cop and the wife Alondra (Joy Osmanski) wants to follow John Legend around on tour and another couple where the husband Dan (Ricardo Chavira) is a deputy and Lisa (Mary Elizabeth Ellis) is having an affair (with Ryan Hansen's Bob while she's also having some sort of a sexual vibe with Natalie Morales' Anne). Deputy Dan hates his step-son Eric (Skyler Gisondo) so, even before the horror aspect gets heavy, you've got quite a set up.
But it does get heavy.
As heavy as Nathan Fillion whose alleged hotness left the building long before FIREFLY.
He's as unbelievable here as a hot character as he is on MODERN FAMILY on the arm of Sarah Hyland's Haley.
Thankfully, he shows up and then disappears in the first episode.
He's Gary, the guy who steals the home Sheila and Joel are trying to sell while also trying to come on to Sheila in a bar.
Sheila's been having some problems.
In a bit of a funk, she wishes she was bolder, like Jennifer Lawrence with her latest hair cut.
She doesn't cut her hair but, after throwing up, she does realize that something has changed.
She has no heart beat, as Joel and Abby confirm, plus she can poke herself with nail scissors and not feel pain and her 'blood,' as it is, is solid and not fluid.
She's also hungry for meat, raw meat.
Eric's the one who figures out that Sheila is a zombie.
And when Gary shows up after the bar incident, in Sheila's backyard, and won't stop coming onto her and begins threatening her, she takes a bite.
And then another.
She will eat a great deal of him, even his "tiny balls."
She'll stop only when Joel discovers her eating him.
They'll rush to bury the rest of Gary in the desert -- and be discovered by Eric and Abby.
The one good thing here, they agree, is that Gary knows nobody, he's new to town, he's got no family, he's the perfect prey if you're going to eat a human.
But Sheila can't eat humans, right?
And she's got to work on the impulse control.
Especially with the suspicious Deputy Dan next door. (Police officer Rick's much more laid back and can be found playing guitars with Joel while the two smoke pot.)
If the above doesn't seem like a lot of laughs, (a) you haven't watched the ten episodes that make up season one and (b) you've apparently missed the bulk of Drew Barrymore's career.
Maybe because she was so good and so natural in comedy films like MUSIC AND LYRICS, THE WEDDING SINGER, NEVER BEEN KISSED, CHARLIE'S ANGELS, CHARLIE'S ANGELS: FULL THROTTLE, FEVER PITCH, 50 FIRST DATES and BLENDED her gifts have been so underrated?
Drew's perfect.
A bigger surprise?
So is Timothy Olyphant.
In fact, he's so perfect, it's unbelievable.
He's the puppy in the pound you want to take home.
He's the man that turns you into Geena Davis in THELMA & LOUISE begging like a puppy to let the hottie in the car.
Timothy is hilarious just saying "WOW!" loudly.
He and Drew are hilarious together arguing.
They're hilarious, and sexy, when she wants him to go down on her again and he's complaining that his jaw's still sore from last time and she's telling him that he should stop talking.
Timothy does drama very well. He was the finest dramatic actor on TV with JUSTIFIED.
And he did bits of comedy in that role and was funny in bits of GO and in his one scene in FIRST WIVES CLUB.
But none of that prepares you for how funny he is in SANTA CLARITA DIET.
Ty tell us that news of season two of STRANGER THINGS not debuting until next Halloween has resulted in many e-mails from readers saying they're on the verge of dumping NETFLIX. SANTA CLARITA DIET isn't STRANGER THINGS but it's still a strong reason to pay for a few more months of NETFLIX.
