I wanted to please Knopf because, well, I wanted their money. Mama's not getting any younger and either she starts feathering that nest or her chick's gonna flee. You feel me, fellas? Even so it pained me to have to write anything that in any way put responsiblity on Barack Obama.
He is the President of the United States, not God. (Not that I believe in God, but still.) He is not responsible for the nuclear meltdown in Japan. Or for whether it floods in parts of the US. Or for the economy. Or the Libyan War or the Iraq War or the Afghanistan War or . . .
Well, you get the idea. And I love Barack so much that I closed shop on United for Pathetic Injustice in order to ensure that no one could say "the country's largest peace organization called out Barack today."
But again, Mama needs some bread. So I tried and tried. I allowed that maybe he should start buttoning his jackets and maybe his smile was a little too gummy. I really couldn't manage much more than that.
So it wasn't a complete surprise when Knopf called to tell me they were shelving the book. Besides, they'd wanted me to also do an audio book version and I kept blowing the sound board as I took these deep, emphysema breaths after every six words or so -- whether I was at the end of a sentence or not.
Not having any luck with Knopf, I decided to self-publish and focus on the really important moments in life. For example, what to do when your 'friend' Alice Walker puts a photo of you in one of her books and mispells your last name K-a-g-a-n instead of "Cagan." I've got eighty whole pages on quiet simmering and being bitchy in a blase way so as to keep people guessing.
I also write what it's like to be a proud political activist. But I never use the "C" word because, well you know, I'm in the political closet. What would my art history friends from NYU say!!!!!
Mainly I share deep thoughts like this one: "Am I lesbian? Yes, I am! But could Barack turn me straight? Yes, he can!"
I think it's that sort of searching for the really intense and indepth answers about modern sexuality that will lead to my book's historical importance. That and my pop cultural references which demonstrate that I'm "down" with my "peeps" and able to "shout out" as well as any Tweener. If you mised it, I name check The Jeffersons repeatedly in the book.
I learned more about Black people and the Black struggle from repeated viewings of The Jefferson than anywhere else. That saucy maid Florence cracks me up! And Mother Jefferson is so funny when she gets in those digs at Louise's expense. The Jeffersons, in fact, let to my first bout of serious activism Jews for Radical Living and George Jefferson and Dry Cleaning which I formed in March of 1979.
My initial burst of activism was a huge success. The following year The Jefferson's ranked number 8 out of all TV shows (up from 49!!!). And then they moved up to number 6 the next year, then 3 and then they slid back to 12. But the country had elected Ronald Reagan, so what could you expect? From 12, it dropped to 19 and then, in its final year, to 56.
I stood outside the White House denouncing Nancy Reagan who had contributed to the downfall of The Jeffersons by appearing as a guest star on the rival and watered down story of Black America entitled Diff'rent Strokes.
After the cancellation of The Jeffersons, I tried to throw my weight behind Gimmie' a Break but my heart wasn't in it.
I considered moving into the corporate world and faking it there but my good friend Barbara Ehrenriech shook me awake. "Les," she told me, "with your looks you can never make it in that world. But in the world of the underground, where looks and bathing are far less important, you might stand a chance."
With those wise and encouraging words to boost my morale, I decided I would fake it in the underground instead of the corporate world and I decided I would be a leader to fake vistas and faux horizons.
I am Lesley Cagan and this is my story.
