Sunday, January 03, 2010

I don't get it (Dona)

What do people do with their time?

I really don't get it.

I'm referring to the current top ten items under Yahoo's "WEB PULSE." (See below.)


Presumably those are the top ten search topics on Yahoo. Presumably because no one's blogged about "WEB PULSE." I did find a lot of people blogging about what was ranked what on "WEB PULSE" and the two most excited groups were fans of Muse and Barry Manilow -- which I'm sure says something highly disturbing if I had the time to wrap my mind around it.

But I don't and mainly because my first response to "WEB PULSE" is likely no different than your own: Who the hell uses Yahoo as a search engine these days?

Judging by the top ten, very out of touch people.

The New Orleans Saints? Okay, I can understand that. I grew up in the MidWest, I know the importance of football to us heartlanders. Especially with the Superbowl approaching. I can understand "Movie Trailers" as well because it's the weekend and you might want to catch a trailer or two before spending actual money to see another bad movie. "Pakistan" I can also understand because it's in the news.

But "Blackwater"? First off, it's Xe now. I know the Xe website is "under construction." Maybe that sent everyone to searching Blackwater? I really have to wonder why, in 2009, you suddenly have a need to know about Blackwater? I would have thought we all knew about the mercenaries years ago.

"Up In The Air"? Didn't ring a bell. I guessed a Disney movie about a group of Canadians and Jamaicans who team up with their mascot -- a shaggy pooch -- to take on the corporate funded teams of some sport. Probably basketball. Maybe sledding. And it ends with a lot of cheering and the dog leaping into the air as the frame freezes. Turns out it is a movie, it does star a shaggy pooch (George Clooney) but everything else I got wrong.

Chris Robinson is with the rock group Black Crowes but there's also a college football player with that name. [Correction 1-3-10 the football player Chris Robinson is NFL and he had an incredible day on the field today.] Does that mean that searches for both of them add up to the eighth most popular search? Or did the rocker's new baby do enough all by itself to make him a 'hot gossip item'?

2009 in review? The year ended. That one makes some sense.

But "Pancake Recipes"?

How does that even happen?

It's not from cooking. Most people who cook already have a recipe they've been using for years and those who haven't been cooking pancakes from scratch are either buying pre-cooked pancakes you pop in the toaster or the mix in the carton that you pour into the skillet. And that's before you get into how many people even eat pancakes. It's not a significant portion of the population.

Then there's Robert Pattinson. He's the Twilight star (the one who doesn't look like the cover of a gay porn video). He's the star of the sequel that came out last summer and the original which came out some time ago. He's not a new face. And looking at photos, I can tell you he hasn't cut his hair -- or apparently taken a shower -- anytime recently. So girls, boys, go back to your Teen Bop and stop frantically searching him.

I was puzzled that Michelle Obama was number two. She's not all that popular (both Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin outranked her in polls last week). But then I remembered she was on vacation and that usually means she forgets to wear a bra (while wearing a very sheer blouse) or has some other fashion disaster. So I put her high ranking down to "Hope." Not "Change." From the photos I scanned, the big news was that somehow her left breast ended up significantly higher than the right one in numerous photos. And that she mistakenly continues to think she can pull off turquoise.

"WEB PULSE" it declares but it doesn't read like a top ten ranking. For one thing, in case you missed it, we're a celebrity obsessed nation (led by a celebrity president). So there's no way in the world that numerous names wouldn't pop up -- Johnny Depp, Megan Fox, etc. And let's be really honest -- if "WEB PULSE" measured actual popular searches that would be "Johnny Depp nude," "Megan Fox nude," etc.

I don't get it.
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