We (Ava and C.I.) really have no idea why someone would so willing make a fool of themselves on national television, but there it was. For all to see.
Has a more bizarre 'human' ever been spotted? When we weren't gasping, we were laughing.
When we say "The Outsider," some may wrongly think we're referring to Ralph Nader. No, Ralph handled himself well.
We're speaking of The Peace Resister. We're referring to Katty-van-van. Yeah, her. Katrina vanden Heuvel.
Wrongly stating "since your name was invoked" in the previous segment, George gave Katty the first word. (Wrongly because George named Katrina vanden Heuvel in his interview with Ralph Nader. Nader referred to The Nation magazine and The Progressive magazine. He did not name Katty or anyone else.)
Katty didn't care. She was just happy she got an end seat. (As predicted.) She was gushing a mile a minute about how "The Nation in 2004 and again in 2008" were pushing 'Ralph, Don't Run' -- as if that was a good thing in a democracy. You have to wonder if Katrina's mythical Mother Russia will ever manage to call her home? And if you offered to pay for the trip, would she leave any sooner?
Probably not -- because her school girl romantic view of the Soviet Union exists only in her fantasies.
Her embarrassments, however, are for public consumption.
Take when she declared of Barack Obama, "I'm shocked that he's moving to the center." We were about to laugh, thinking she was using sarcasm. But Katty was dead serious and followed that up immediately with, "I'm shocked but change" starts below. Below. Below. She bellowed causing us to conjure up the score to The Wizard of Oz. Below. Below.
Katty was wearing black, naturally. She always wears black. Maybe it wasn't just her repeated use of "below" that had us thinking of The Wizard of Oz?
"In the primaries," Katty insisted, "we saw" issues being driven from below.
What issues?
You mean the smear job The Nation did on Hillary regarding NAFTA?
You can't believe a word the woman says. Elaine grasped that early on -- back when one of us (C.I.) was still prone to trust her. There was a young Katty reeking of urine and denying she'd wet herself (and kicking Elaine in the shin, leaving a scar for life -- Katty always had big feet). So since she only knows how to lie and stretch the truth, the best thing (for all but your sense of taste) might be to ignore what she says and just watch her.
If you did that, you noticed many strange things. Hugh Hewett is droning on with who knows what Republican talking point. Arianna Huffington of Aging Socialite Cat Litter Box was looking at him. A furious Katrina was staring down at the table top.
Throughout, she behaved like a spoiled, petulant brat.
We don't care for Arianna after the slam she allowed to run on mentally challenged children and assumed we'd be offering hisses to Arianna but Katty was just impossible.
When Arianna worried that Barack might be "undercutting his brand," Katty's body stiffened as though someone had struck her.
Arianna looked at everyone as they spoke. Who would have guessed Arianna had more manners than Katty? (Okay, maybe many people.) Byron York of The National Review was discussing what might happen if Barack "softens" on Iraq (we think it was York, but those right-wing pundits all look alike) and there was Arianna listening (or doing a good enough job of pretending to that we were fooled) but Katty was having a meltdown. When she finally spoke she was disjointed and all over the map from the start.
"But I'm not . . . Listen . . . I'm not apologizing for Obama caving" she would begin in a series of sentences that included FDR, a cabinet secretary from over fifty years ago and a lot of platitudes as well as "Bob Barnett" -- whose name required her popping her eyes.
One of the right-wingers insisted that the middle (spectrum of voters) was "what's important" and Katrina did some half-movement, some abrupt body gestures that had us wondering if she was attempting to pay homage to Sally Field's Emmy award winning work in Sybil?
Katty's inability to focus was there throughout and reflected the magazine she edits and publishes as she jumped from topic to topic, introducing new topics only to drop them and rush to something else. The best visual moment was probably when she brought up the electoral college all by herself and decided to ignore George and the other three panelists by looking into the camera to declare of the electoral college's demise (a topic she introduced), "Which I hope will happen in 2012." George was at the head of the table. On one end, you had Arianna next to George and then Byron. On the other, you had Hugh next to George and then Katrina. The camera was in front of the table, on the opposite end of George. We're telling you that so we're sure you understand where the camera was. No one had to tell Katty where it was. "When both candidates" she tossed out again turning to face the camera. At another point, George is saying, "Let me ask you this . . ." Saying it to Byron. What was he asking? Who knows?
While he was asking, Katty was again turning her head away from the panel to look at the camera and making some weird faces. If she'd pointed her finger at it, we think she would have said, "We're coming on for you!" Or maybe, "How you doing?"
Somehow on the subject of terrorism and safety, Katty took the issue to Barack's "cyber war room to deal with smears." Maybe there was some context for that remark and Katty's non-stop fidgeting (which began shortly before that moment) distracted us from it. But it was perfectly in keeping with her 'political points' which played out like the worst name dropping episode of Square Pegs.
George then asked Hugh about Barack's trip to Iraq and, watch the video later, what is Katty doing? It looks to us like she's hugging herself and rocking forward.
Gregg Allman, at the height of his drug addiction, was less of a public embarrassment.
Katty got off three comments quickly that really have to be noted.
First up, Hugh was insisting that Barack had promised to remove troops from Iraq in six months. Hugh, provide the source. Katty insisted sixteen months but it was lowered to ten months by Barack when he was campaigning in Texas and Katty should know that since a one-liner in a speech resulted in Tom Hayden exulting online about the greatness of Barack -- online at The Nation. Katty snapped that regardless of the number of months, "Everyone understood he didn't mean immediately."
Really?
Katty, did you miss the commercial with the bad guitar music and then the shots of Barack in front of a stadium full of people? It ran in Februrary in March. What does he say? "We want to end the war!" We want to do this and that, "now!" "Everyone understood," Katty? That much played commercial existed to confuse the issue. (But then so does Katty.)
She then wanted to talk about withdrawal and this needs to be noted because it's such a BIG LIE and so STUPID. She said that his withdrawal would be gradual and "you use the success of the surge . . ." The success of the surge? Does Katty-van-van read her own magazine? (We like to picture her editing while wearing a blindfold. It provides an excuse for all the factual errors.) Katty-van-van went on ABC and called the escalation (the so-called "surge") a success. Someone should note that to Dana Perino in tomorrow's White House press conference, "Even Katrina vanden Heuvel of The Nation magazine is now calling the surge a success, Dana, and . . ."
The third point she made was, "The country has turned against the war." As Goldie Hawn says in Private Benjamin when caught on the fence, "No s**t."
When does Katty-van-van think that happened? And does she honestly think in the years since that happened her magazine's reflected that?
Byron and Hugh are on the right but Katty, so quick to counsel the need to pick your battles, ignored that as she attempted to shout at Arianna in disagreement, "I think they're going to vote on the economy!" Arianna just smiled and appeared to be think, "She really does talk like a Communist." There was Katty as the segment wound down attempting to pick a battle with the other panelist on to 'represent' the left.
If The Nation's fall in circulation doesn't kill Katty's TV spots, that appearance just might. You grasped why the others would be invited on to shows. Arianna was who we were expecting to provide laughter. Maybe on a show without Katty she could have? Maybe not. She knows how to relate to the host (she referred to how Greeks know about Trojan horses -- a reference to herself and George), knows how to listen or pretend to listen by looking at whomever is speaking and knows how to disagree (even strongly) without looking like she's throwing a tantrum.
Though over fifty, Katty-van-van came off like an eight-year-old child stomping her feet and you kept waiting for George to tell her to go to her room. Always The Outsider, Katty-van-van, because she makes herself one. The final segment was obits and the only surprise there was the failure to announce "And today Katrina vanden Heuvel's career as a TV pundit died or at least suffered a serious set back." We're not sure if the clip to run with that would have been the eye popping, the mugging to the camera, the fidgeting, the refusal to look at people who spoke (forget look them in the eye). But that's Katty-van-van, always providing a wide range of options . . . for laughter.
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For more laughter, some of Katty-van-van's appearances in Isaiah's comics.
"Wheel of Greed" (which also features Matthew Rothschild and John Nichols).
"From the Kitchen of the Peace Resister."
And "The Peace Resister."
