1) The Geneva Conventions and international law hold that pre-emptive war
is . . .
a) peachy keen when the United States wants to launch it.
b) a last resort.
c) something to do when your poll numbers are dropping.
d) the sort of war crime that leads to Nuremberg.
2) The United States prevented direct elections in Iraq for over a year . . .
a) to preserve democracy there.
b) because people of Iraq were not ready to have elections.
c) because a CIA report to the White House indicated that it would be a Shi'ite sweep.
d) to see how mad the people would get.
3) The best statement of the "We will fight them there" theory is . . .
a) We have to invade Iraq to protect Israel.
b) We have to invade Iraq to protect the United States.
c) We have to invade Iraq to protect Afghanistan.
d) We have to invade Iraq to protect Big Oil.
e) All of the above.
4) The opposing sides in Iraq are . . .
a) the forces of good and the forces of evil.
b) Dick Cheney and Janeane Garofalo.
c) the military industrial complex and the people of Iraq.
d) American Idol and apple pie versus crazed terrorists.
5) Saddam Hussein let UN inspectors into Iraq before the illegal war began because . . .
a) he thought it would demonstrate that Iraq had no WMDs.
b) he thought it would boost the tourism economy.
c) he wanted to mislead Iraqis into thinking he was pro-UN.
d) he was lonely.
6) White phosphorus is used in Iraq for . . .
a) the fun of it!
b) burning people and houses.
c) as a flashlight substitute.
d) for the cool fireworks!
7) Hugo Chavez, president of Venezuela, said that one of his favorite authors
was . . .
a) Millie, the former White House pooch.
b) Lynn Cheney for her lesbian bodice ripper Sisters.
c) Ann Coulter for her comic zingers.
d) Noam Chomsky.
8) The 'insurgents' are . . .
a) Iranians who fight against the US.
b) Syrians who fight against the US.
c) al Qaeda who fight against the US.
d) Iraqis who are sick of foreign military occupying their country.
9) The Association of Muslim Scholars in Iraq have called for . . .
a) Jack Bauer pillow cases.
b) a kegger at the White House.
c) bikini shots of Barbara Bush the elder.
d) US forces to leave Iraq.
10) The Iraq war . . .
a) is helping the rich get richer and the poor get poorer.
b) is good for big business.
c) is an expensive project.
d) still sounds like a good idea!
11) The Iraq war has lasted longer than . . .
a) The first Gulf War.
b) US involvement in WWII.
c) a Grey's Anatomy marathon.
d) expected but, hold on to your seats, it's really just beginning!
12) The Iraq war was declared by Congress . . .
a) in March of 2003.
b) in March of 2004.
c) in March of 2005.
d) never!
13) Bully Boy announced his planned escalation after the November 2006 elections because:
a) He wanted to protect the American people from premature protest.
b) He wanted to surprise the American people.
c) He forgot until the last minute.
d) Dick Cheney hadn't told him about it yet.
14) Three US soldiers viewed a 14-year-old Iraqi girl as . . .
a) a hot piece.
b) someone to be tortured.
c) a girl wanting to go wild.
d) non-human.
15) The United States is . . .
a) winning quickly in Iraq.
b) winning slowly but surely in Iraq.
c) not trying in Iraq.
d) learning again the cost of an illegal war of choice.
TRUE OR FALSE
16) Operation Iraq Liberation, the original title for the Iraq war, by the merest coincidence, happened to spell out OIL.
17) Many major oil companies from the US helped Dick Cheney plan the division of Iraq oil before the illegal war began.
18) Laura Bush stated on the Today Show that she and her husband, Bully Boy, suffer for the Iraq war because . . .
a) no one in polite society likes a war criminal.
b) extradition treaties mean that their future travel will be severely limited.
c) the various chemical weapons being used in Iraq were first tested on the First Family.
d) she thought it would make them appear concerned.
ESSAY QUESTION
19) Brave voices from the "sixties" who remain silent on the current illegal war know that their silence kills. Argue the pros or cons of their disgusting position.
20) In the briefest possible essay, compare and contrast the US invasion of Iraq with the following:
a) The US invasion of Vietnam (1956 or 1961).
b) The US invasion of Cambodia (1970).
c) The US invasion of Cuba (1961).
d) The US invasion of the Dominican Republic (1965).
e) The US invasion of Afghanistan (2001).
f) The US invasion of Nicaragua (1927).
g) The US invasion of Guatemala (1954).
h) The US invasion of the US (2001).
[Note: A strong nod to Nola Express. This is based on their "Vietnam Quiz" -- and then some.]
