Five Books, Five Minutes

"Five Books, Five Minutes" time. No Mary Mapes book because two participating are still waiting in line at their libraries. We take that as a good sign: people are interested in the topics Mapes is writing about. All the books were suggested by readers. Since the cry of "more on the arts!" is repeated in many e-mails, we think you'll enjoy this selection. Three books revolve around music, one is a humor book and the fifth is a collection of essays.

Participating in this discussion are The Third Estate Sunday Review's Dona, Jess, Ty, Ava and Jim, Rebecca of Sex and Politics and Screeds and Attitude, Betty of Thomas Friedman Is a Great Man, C.I. of The Common Ills and The Third Estate Sunday Review, Kat of Kat's Korner (of The Common Ills), Cedric of Cedric's Big Mix, Mike of Mikey Likes It!, Elaine of Like Maria Said Paz and Wally of The Daily Jot.

Jim: We'll start with The Truth Is . . . My Life in Love and Music by Melissa Etheridge "with Laura Morton." Did anyone enjoy this bok?

Rebecca: To paraphrase Peter Falk from the movie In The Spirit, who would've thought an open and proud lesbian could be so boring.

Kat: Next week we're reviewing a book by an artist that is far better than this. I wasn't impressed with this book. It was a laundry list checked off. It never went for anything deep, it never offered any gossip, it never addressed music, in all ways this book failed.

Betty: I didn't hate it but I didn't feel like I'd read a great or even good book. Apologies to the reader who loves this book.

Ava: NK in upstate New York.

Betty: Apologies to NK. I could read the book. It wasn't so bad that I had to put it down. It just wasn't a book that impressed me. The writing just wasn't there.

Ty: I felt page 26 came off well, where she's discussing how she realized she was gay.

Elaine: The book was skimming the surface to me. Go down the list of bad relationships, starting with Jane, and find a moment in any of the writing where she's addressing the relationship instead of "and then this happened and then that . . ." I couldn't. If she'd come to me for therapy, my thought would have been, "She's come out of the closet but she still hasn't come to grips with who she is."

Jim: Did anyone like the book?

C.I.: I'll jump in. I don't know what NK responded to in the book but there are things that people will respond to. Part of that is because of who Melissa Etheridge is. She's, Kat may feel differently, the first superstar who was publicly gay. That's not a minor thing.

Kat: No, I'd agree with you. kd lang was known and Melissa was known. There music was written of and they had a certain fame. Both came out and kd notched up "Constant Craving" and has a devoted following but she didn't reach superstar proportions. Melissa, with Yes, I Am, did.

C.I.: Because she had hits, plural. And not just on some adult contemporary format. She took it over to the pop charts which is a very hard thing to do. She wasn't a hit artist before she came out. She came out, recorded a strong album, and became a hit artist. So that can be inspiring to some. And should be. The book charts this in less than concrete terms.

Kat: I wouldn't call it abstract, that's giving it too much credit. It's on the nose writing that never amounts to more than a summary of the events.

C.I.: But there's a constraint she's working under. By the way, I read this when it came out and didn't reread it for this discussion. So if I'm wrong on something, no surprise, correct me. An abusive relationship, for instance, should have been dealt with in more detail. But there's another level of problems here. Melissa can't be honest. She can be honest about herself. But she can't be fully honest. Which isn't that she doesn't want to be honest. I believe she writes of how kd and she were asking/begging Ellen DeGeneres to come out, right?

Ty: Yeah. Talks about how it's just out there waiting to bite you in the butt and how in her last interview before she came out, the writer was hinting.

C.I.: Okay, well, newsflash, everyone's not out. Everyone Melissa hangs with, including famous people, are not out. She can name Ellen, she can name kd. They're out. But there are artists, male and female that are not out. Then there are artists that have "experimented" and she can't name those either. There's a limit to what she can write. Forty years from now, when other things are known, people will act like some do today, "Dusty Springfield was gay? I never knew!" Melissa did a brave thing coming out. She could have continued passing. She wasn't a star but she did have a devoted following among men who were into rock. Hopefully, they stayed with her. But there was risk on her part in coming out and she deserves applause for coming out. For that reason alone, people may find the book inspiring, gays, lesbain, straight. But in terms of autobiography, she never should have written one because she can't be honest.
There are too many people she knows who are living as she did pre-1993. She can't go into details about that because it's not her responsibility to out them in her autobiography. She can't write about some woman hitting on her at the Grammys before she was out or anything like that. She's trying to write an inspirational book and I think she succeeds. I wish she'd delved deeper but I can see someone reading this book and enjoying it. I can also understand the reactions people have spoken of here because it has been about a decade since she came out and it's easy to forget that it was a big deal. Melissa outed herself. She wasn't arrested, not to slam George Michael, and got outed. A number of big names and modest names still live in the closet. I'm not trying to slam them, just stating a fact. Some of those people are out the way Ellen was prior to "coming out." Which means that everyone in the entertainment industry knew. Everyone knew about Melissa. She wasn't running around on the arm of a man or having the tabloids push a phoney romance. Ellen was the same way. Diane Sawyer's interview with Ellen was rightly criticized because Diane seemed to intentionally miss that point. When every anyone comes out, the press writes about it, someone famous, as though they've pretended to everyone they know that they were straight. That's not the case. There are extreme closet cases but there are a lot more who are open outside of the mag, talk show, news coverage spotlight. Melissa's earned her place in music history based on some strong recordings. She's earned her place in entertainment history for proving that coming out doesn't kill a career. The book could have been deeper but within the corner's she's been shoved into, she's very honest.
I do understand Elaine's point and I wonder how much of that lack of depth had to do with a desire to inspire.

Rebecca: That is a good point, all of them actually. If Suzy Jones and Dirk Thomas are a couple in all the tabloids and she hangs out with them, she can't really write about Dirk's fondness for male porn stars or Suzy's high profile relationship with another woman.

Kat: And I'll agree with that as well. But I also think she was entering a surface period in her life when this book was being made and it's there on the album Skin as well.

C.I.: Which came out around the same time.

Kat: Right. She's open to a point. She will only go so far. On Skin, a lot of people were wanting to hear about her high profile break up. It wasn't there really. She was upset, you get that in a number of songs, but you never really get why. Maybe she's not a confessional writer? If so, then she shouldn't have written a book.

Jim: So C.I. defends the book, but never really lets us know if that's a thumb up or thumbs down, and everyone else says avoid it. Let's move on to the next book. Jess?

Jess: Allan Metz and Carol Benson are the editors of The Madonna Companion: Two Decades of Commentary. This book was suggested by Carol who always wants more music discussed in each edition. The book is a collection of writings about Madonna, offering various perspectives.

Rebecca: I really enjoyed this book.

Cedric: I did too. I think they selected strong writing and I think Madonna's such a known that everyone has an opinion on her.

Elaine: Or her images are well known. She's had a variety of personas, as the collection documents, and with each transformation, this is the "real" Madonna, we're told.

Mike: This is the only book I've ever read that my youngest sister has seen me with and asked to read it after I was done.

Dona: Did she read it?

Mike: Yeah.

Dona: Mike's sister is still in high school and we do have some readers her age so I'm wondering what her reaction to the book was?

Mike: She loved it. She'd say she didn't because one article pissed her off. But she couldn't stop talking about. She was blasting the new album --

Kat: Confessions on the Dance Floor.

Mike: and thumbing through it. She finished it in about five hours which is pretty fast especially since every so often she'd put it down to argue about something in the book. I loved the book, not like her, but I loved it.

Cedric: I enjoyed it too. I think what Elaine said earlier, about the shifting personas, I think that makes a book about Madonna a lot more interesting than a book about someone else. There's so much upheaval going on and so much constant change. And everyone knows Madonna so there's that built in interest of "What are they going to say? Are they going to say what I've always thought?" And the selections have enough variety that most people who've liked Madonna or hated her will find something they can nod along with.

Wally: I think we all know Madonna's music whether we want to or not. It's like osmosis or something. And this was a book I'd recommend. Like Cedric's talking about, it's got something for everyone in it. For someone like me who didn't know a great deal about her past moments, it was strange to read about the Sex and Erotica period. She's really far from that today. I'm not saying that's a good thing. But I think Cedric and Elaine are probably right that people with knowledge of Madonna's different periods and all, they'll find something to enjoy. For someone like me who knows her songs but not really her or whatever her she's pretended to be, it's also enjoyable because there's so much to cover in her career.

C.I.: And since she's always changing, we should point out that book ends with Ray of Light. Those looking for commentary on American Life or her newest CD won't find it here.

Jim: Would you recommend it, Jess?

Jess: Yes, it's a roller coaster ride and the book documents it pretty well. I'm wondering what Rebecca's favorite Madonna persona was?

Rebecca: Well I wasn't offended by the Erotica period. But I think for a lot of longterm listeners, and I like Madonna, the Like a Virgin period and the Boy Toy period will always be among their favorites. Betty?

Betty: I'd pick anything but the True Blue period. Those eyebrows were frightening. But my favorite is probably Like A Prayer. I enjoyed that album and I remember seeing that video on MTV the first time they aired it. We were all excited. What was I, six? I was young however old I was. But there was so much excitement around Madonna then. I loved the album but I loved the video too. Pepsi ended up ending their promotion with her because of reaction to the video which I'm guessing had to do with kissing a black man but I loved it. I loved Sandra Crouch's vocals in the background with "I'll take you there!" That's probably still my favorite Madonna song. I enjoy how it's this sing-song type thing in the verses and then the backup singers take it somewhere else. I find myself singing that song when I'm washing dishes. I'll just be standing at the sink, tired and my mind a blank and I'll realize that I'm singing "Like A Prayer." I enjoyed the book but I read the sections on that period first. You can skip around, which is another thing about the book. You can read it in the order you want.

Dona: I'll note that this book has strong writing in it. If you're interested in criticism or feature writing, you can find some strong examples in this book.

Jim: Alright then, let's move on to the next book. Ava?

Ava: Marshall e-mailed noting that C.I. had cited Hunter S. Thompson's Generation of Swine when C.I. did the entry on the passing of Thompson. Marshall read the book because of that entry and wanted us to note it here if we could.

Cedric: This was a good book full of rage, passion and life. I can remember being really upset that Thompson had died. That seems so long ago now but it hasn't even been a year yet. And reading this book reminded me of why I enjoyed his writing to begin with.

Kat: I'd agree. Not to take anything away from Paul Krugman but Thompson was calling the Bully Boy out and not waiting for the glow from 9/11 to fade. Hunter S. Thompson writes from a place few of us will ever go to but it's inspiring when he takes us there.

Wally: This was like a history book to me because it's dealing with a period I'm too young to remember.

Elaine: (laughing) Want a saucer of milk or a live rat?

Wally: Huh? Oh. (Laughing) I get it. But the thing that stood out to me was how that period just came alive. There were some bits I probably saw in the week long Reagan tribute but there are other things I know I didn't see but I could visualize them.

Ty: I think that's a good point. I'm not a huge fan of Thompson's book on Las Vegas. I like his essays on politics. He brings politics to life. I'm wondering why C.I. chose that book to highlight in the entry. I remember that entry, by the way, and if anyone needs an excerpt of the book, C.I. offers several in that entry.

C.I.: Oh that was so long ago --

Elaine: George is great.

C.I.: George is great.

Rebecca: That's a running joke between them, a long running joke. From the film Shampoo.

C.I.: It is. But seriously, that was so long ago. I'm guessing I pulled all the Thompson books off the shelves and meant to find a quote from that one but got lost in it. It's my favorite of all of his books.

Dona: I remember the entry as well and that is the reason offered in it.

Jim: And I remember opening The New York Times two days later and being surprised because they noted the same book.

C.I.: Probably because, as Wally said, Thompson makes politics come alive and this is one of his strongest collections. Ollie North, Iran-Contra, Poppy Bush, Reagan and others are all present and accounted for.

Mike: I got a lecture for reading this book.

Jim: Really?

Mike: (Laughing) Yeah, I checked it out of the library and Dad walked by and did a double take. He goes, "We have that book." I didn't know it. But this is a big book with him.

Betty: I'm jealous. The most I get is, "What you reading, Mommy?" The only books we "discuss" around the house are children's books.

Jim: So I think everyone's on the same page here in recommending this book? Okay. We'll move on to the humor book. Wally and Mike?

Mike: The picture on the front of the book was Abe Lincolon naked so right away you knew it was going to be funny. It's by Jon Stewart of The Daily Show and it's called Naked Pictures of Famous People.

Wally: Mine had four photos of Jon Stewart on the cover.

C.I.: Mike had a hardcover version.

Wally: Well Deidre recommended this book and said that after Mike and me did the interview at his site, she thought we'd love it.

Mike: For the hour!

Wally: For the hour!

Elaine: Their version of "George is great." They're doing their Larry King impression.

Mike: Our favorite part of the book was the parody of Larry King interviewing Adolf Hitler.

Wally: We were on the phone reading that outloud to each other.

Mike: And taking turns on being Larry King. Because we both wanted to be him.

Wally: "Let's go to the phones. . . . Annie from Grand Rapids, Michigan, what's your question for Adolf Hitler?"

Mike: "Tonight, risen from the proverbial dead, we welcome Adolf Hitler!"

Wally: For the hour!

Mike: For the hour!

Dona: Since Wally and Mike can shout "For the hour!" at one another for hours, we'll move over to Betty. What did you think?

Betty: I laughed at the whole book. Martha Stewart's vagina treatments was a favorite, the cult was another one.

Ava: My favorite was "Vincent and Theo on AOL."

Jess: Yeah, I loved that. Vincent van Gogh in chat rooms.

Rebecca: I think my favorite was "The Last Supper, Or The Dead Waiter." I want to note a section of that. All the disciples haven't arrived yet so the waiter, Avram, refuses to seat them. Here's the excerpt, page 69:

Finally, everybody shows up. It's nine o'clock. It's my last table, and the kitchen wants to close. So lucky me has to try and wrangle their order. It ain't easy. Matthew "has" to sit next to Jesus but John is having none of it, because his birthday's Monday and Jesus promised. Simon's blowing into his hand and pretending he farted. Mark and James are pouting because I carded them. Thomas wants a Caesar salad but doesn't believe it when I tell him you can hardly taste the anchovies in the dressing. Paul says he's lactose intolerant and claims if there's sour cream in his borscht, it's coming out of my tip. Judas sits glowering because no one will split an appetizer with him, and the rest of them just giggle at my ASK ME ABOUT OUR KUGEL! button. The way they all behaved, I should have made them order off the children's menu.

Cedric: That was funny. This was really a great book to read and laugh with. I didn't laugh at the book by The Daily Show. It was a bunch of puns and sight gags. This book made me laugh. In fact, I'm giving it to my brother for Christmas. I know he'll laugh and enjoy it too. This isn't one light chuckle that you turn the page after hoping to find another one. This is consistently funny.

Jim: Kat?

Kat: "A Very Hanson Christmas, 1996-1999" is hilarious. The mother of the boys in the pop group Hanson prepares a Christmas letter for the years from 1996-1999 and it traces the ups and downs of the questionable group.

Ty: I was rolling at that chapter. page 17:

HO, HO, HO! Zach has Herpes. There. Are you Happy now? You try controlling an eleven-year-old multi-millionaire with a hard-on for strippers. For those of you wondering about last year's newsletter, there wasn't one. If you must know, I was at a retreat in Hazelden, Minnesota, and they didn't allow pens, pencil or any other sharp implements for that matter. It's been quite a ride . . . quite a . . I sit here, alone in my Hotel suite. Pen in one hand, bottle of Glenlivet in the other. A gun at my feet. Darkness all around me . . .

Jim: So I think that's one we all enjoyed and recommend strongly.

Mike: One more thing.

Jim: Okay.

Mike: For the hour!

Wally: For the hour!

Ava: I saw that coming. Our last book is Postively 4th Street: The Lives and Times of Joan Baez, Bob Dylan, Mimi Baez Farina and Richard Farina. It's by David Hajdu.

Cedric: I didn't get it. Despite the title, it was the story of Bob Dylan with supporting players.

Kat: I hated this book. I'm so sick of little boys with hard ons for Dylan trying to churn out yet another Dylan book and find a new angle when it's all Dylan, all the time. He didn't grasp the first thing about Richard Farina's music and there wasn't a damn thing to indicate he'd ever listened to a Joan Baez album. Cedric's right, this was the Bob Dylan story but it's been written and rewritten, myths spat out a hundred times over, that Hajdu tries to dress up with some gossip about the other three.

Dona: If Melissa Etheridge's book bothered some people because she didn't go deep enough, this book sported trivia and passed it off as insight. It reads like a VH1 Behind the Music special and I do not mean that as a compliment.

Cedric: I think superficial would be the one word review for this book.

Rebecca: Agreed. This a time line that the writer fleshes out with trivia, no deep thoughts, no criticism offered. Who's fallen into bed with Dylan today seems to be the key motivating factor for each chapter. When Hajdu is bored, he checks into Richard Farina's bed. The women all come off as props.

Ava: And Joan Baez is not a prop. She had a whole life going on outside of Bob Dylan and a number of other books have dealt with it. He's not interested in that. He's not interesed in the music. He's only interested in the myth of Dylan. My one word review would be "yawn."

Dona: Ava and I were really disappointed with this book. We've been learning that period of music for about a year now and we were both excited when this book came up in an e-mail.

Jim: Clyde of Fresno.

Dona: Clyde's e-mail. We read the book and felt it was another blow hard who has man-crushed on Bob Dylan for years trying to masturbate in print.

Jess: Name the myth and it makes it into the book. Beyond boring, this was insulting.

Cedric: And that's partly because he's got nothing but who hooked up with who on his mind. The author's not interested in the music, he's not interested in the time period. If I wanted to watch Entertainment Tonight, I would. I picked up a book to read. It was a waste of time.

Jess: But nice cover. It's an old concert poster.

Jim: And that's it for this week. Next week we'll have at least one book on music as well. Mike picked it Wednesday and everyone's already got their copies. What else? Hopefully Mary Mapes.