Dear Third Estate Sunday Review

Dear Third Estate Sunday Review,
I turn on the TV and see nothing crap. Suggestions for what to do requested.
Robbie, NYU

Dear Robbie,
After carefully considering your query and weighing your dilemma, we do have a suggestion for you: turn the TV off. We beg you, turn the TV off.

Dear Third Estate Sunday Review,
Each Sunday you crack me up. I find your articles funny & insightful. I would recommend that you drop the Sunday and become a seven day a week The Third Estate Review.
Loretta, Oklahoma City

Dear Loretta,
Why not The Third Estate Daily Review? While we don't intend on any changes anytime soon, we would like to point out that we have an archive and you can utilize that seven days a week.


Dear Third Estate Sunday Review,
Since Kat's first Kat's Korner, I have been in love with her. Is she everything I imagine?
Todd

Dear Todd,
More. So much more.

Dear Third Estate Sunday Review,
Is the world nuts or just the Bully Boy? It's getting hard to tell.
Charlie, Austin, TX

Dear Charlie,
We used to think it was the world. Then we saw the world thought the Bully Boy was nuts. So we were starting to wonder if it was just a slight majority of our own country. However, with the continual rise in disapproval for the Bully Boy and with half the country now firmly against the war, we don't think it is the nation. So that just leaves the Bully Boy.
And Ryan Seacrest of course.

Dear Third Estate Sunday Review,
Here is a serious question for you. A cat, a dog and a bird are on the lawn in a circle. All remain still. A gunshot goes off. Which moves first?
Mystery Man, Toledo

Dear Mystery Man,
Who shot the gun? What did they shoot at?
Another question: who cares?
Are you setting up an example based on something you've observed? If you've observed it only once, we're not sure what you think you've proven. If this is an "experiment" you're conducting repeatedly, we're not sure what exactly you're trying to prove.
Is this a reflex test? A speed test? What qualifies as move? A cocked head? A flap of wings?
Since one will take to flight and two will move relatively close to the ground we think this may be a case of apples and oranges.
Is this a hearing test? And if not, why not? What if, for instance, the dog is deaf? If so, does the dog need to feel the bullet or see the others reacting to know that something is up?
Are all three equally fit?
If so, how did you determine that?
If you are conducting experiments and not just tossing out examples, we should advise you that if this is intentional, it may border on animal cruelty.

Dear Third Estate Sunday Review,
Most of my nights are spent faking squeals and pretending to shudder with delight while my boyfriend, Mr. One Thrust, dives in, cries out "Mommy!" and then pats me on the shoulder like we're on the same baseball team. I don't know what to do.
Melanie

Dear Melanie,
Would you boyfriend happen to "Dopey?" Rebecca's pretty sure that he is. Our advise, sit him down and tell him, "Honey, you don't just hit the ball and tap home with your foot, you have to run the bases." If that doesn't work, we suggest you reply with something along the lines of, "That's it? You're kidding me right? That's it. That's it! Where'd you learn that technique? On your blow up doll!" Either way, we hope he gets the message.

Dear Third Estate Sunday Review,
Are you really not going to review of any PBS's British sitcoms?
Alan, Chicago

Dear Alan,
Ava and C.I. are not going to review any of the "Brit-coms." The reason for that is that the ones available depend upon your area. We are aware that we have college students and other readers on a tight budget. We highlight Kat's Korner because we think Kat's writing is so strong that she conveys the music even if you can't afford it. But for what we highlight, we try to focus on what's most readily available. That means we focus on broadcast television. Although we've been advised by one reader that he only gets NBC, Fox and ABC in his area. At some point, C.I. and Ava may review a CBS show (they don't believe they have thus far -- another reason to check the archive, Loretta) but, as Ava and C.I. point out, "No one's having to pay for network television with anything but their brain cells." With movies, we're considering a review of Monster-in-Law because we do enjoy Jane Fonda's acting and are all eager to see the film (opens May 13th). But with movies thus far, we go by what we can locate in either our university libraries or the local library.
Alan, you might argue, but by your reasons, what if someone doesn't have the film in their library? They can request it. Libraries are great resources and people should use them more.
With books we review, the same argument applies.
If it helps any, all of us have watched a Brit-com or two over the years and have enjoyed many of them.

Dear Third Estate Sunday Review,
There's not been a Jane Fonda comedic performance film discussed in awhile. Did you forget them?
Barney, San Diego

Dear Barney,
No, we didn't. Jane Fonda has done a number of comedies. Period of Adjustment is one Ty has seen before but we weren't able to find that at libraries. Ditto Any Wednesday which Dona used to watch on TV with "a bowl of onion dips and Ruffles each time it was on" growing up. Had we found either on DVD or VCR, we would have reviewed them. Steelyard Blues is another comedy we had to pass on. What we were left with was Barefoot in the Park, Cat Ballou, Nine to Five,
Barbarella, The Electric Horseman, Fun With Dick & Jane and California Suite. Our intention was always to hold Nine to Five for the edition the week Monster in Law was released. With this edition, we have Nine to Five and Barbarella left to review. We're concentrating on Fonda's performances in these films. Usually we have a great deal to say about the film itself. That was not the case with Cat Ballou which has some solid performances from all (and strong ones from Fonda in the lead and Lee Marvin in supporting roles) and a funny script but some bad direction.
Fonda's performance in it foreshadows her strengths to come and the film will make you laugh but we didn't feel the need to note much more than that. It does have a rare film performance by Nat King Cole. We might not have stressed that enough. If not, let us point out that Nat King Cole sings in the movie at various intervals.
We think Fonda is a great dramatic actress. We also think she's a great comedic actress and our reviews have been attempts of reminding people of that. We feel her return to the screen after a fifteen year absence is big news.
We'll guess that others agree as well since her book, My Life So Far, debuted at number one on the best seller list.
Our hope is that if she doesn't decide to make a number of other films, she'll at least make one more and that someone will be smart enough to reteam her and Robert Redford for one more film together. (They've co-starred in The Chase, Barefoot in the Park and The Electric Horseman.)

Dear Third Estate Sunday Review,
How do you decide which blog to spotlight?
Ronald, Trenton

Dear Ronald,
We had thought we'd expand to non Common Ills community members. But the problem with that is that we tend to wait until the last minute to compile these editions. That means that we're choosing among C.I., Rebecca, Kat, Betty and Folding Star. Fortunately all five are strong writers. But since we need permission to reprint someone's entry in full and we wait until the last minute, that leaves us with those five.
From those five, we toss out various possibilites and all vote. All being Ty, Jess, Dona, Jim and Ava of The Third Estate Sunday Review plus anyone helping us, for instance C.I., Folding Star, Rebecca, Kat and Betty. We discuss it and argue to decide which one to go with.
At one point, we were hoping to run an interview C.I. was attempting to do with a non-community member blogger. C.I. tried to do the interview and was put off after it was agreed to. (C.I. says, "For God's sake, note that he apologized after the fact or I'll get e-mails!") C.I. had explained that the interview would go along with a blog spotlight and we were willing to let that blogger pick the entry that he felt was his favorite (for whatever reason). As we waited and waited on that Saturday and midnight drew ever closer, C.I. went to Folding Star and "begged" (C.I.'s word) for an interview. Folding Star was happy to provide one. And we were happy to run it.
But if you wonder why we focus only on community blogs, that's also part of the reason. Early on we attempted to promote a non community blog. We were going to highlight an entry in full and provide an interview with the blogger. As we were put off and put off, we figured why even bother. It wasn't worth it.
We will probably be doing something soon with Ruth who is a Common Ills community member and provides Ruth's Morning Edition Report. In addition, there's another member of The Common Ills community who will soon start providing entries. Krista and Gina have discussed this in their round-robin e-mail. If you are in the know, you're as excited about that as we are but our lips are sealed for now. In this edition, we have an article on Krista on Gina and how their round-robin came to be. The UK Computer Gurus do a bi-weekly newsletter for Common Ills members and the ringleader is also working on a piece for us. He has been working on that since our second issue. We spoke to him today and he's still working on it. We've read parts of it and think it's incredible and jam packed with information. But to post it up as an article, he wants it to be perfect. We're thinking that day may never come but we assured him that if it ever does, we will gladly post it.

Dear Third Estate Sunday Review,
I need to lose at least ten pounds for a wedding next month. I'm freaking and just in a total and complete panic trying to figure out what to do!
Lisa, Providence

Dear Lisa,
Ten pounds? You're stressing over ten pounds? Try walking twenty minutes each evening. It'll provide you some fresh air and hopefully some peace. But we're sure you have much more to offer than your weight. Eat healthy, take walks and, if you enjoy them, extend them a little each week. If you have a weight problem, consult your doctor. And learn to embrace who you are and not reach for a doctored magazine cover photo that the media sells you.
Glossy mag covers are the result of intense make up and hair work, retouched photos and sometimes some "slenderizing" done after the photo is taken. (Soemtimes a head is even put another body.) That's not reality and most people can't achieve it naturally.

Dear Third Estate Sunday Review,
We're expecting our third child. Our first child was named after my husband's father. Our second child was named after his grandmother. My father's getting upset that we've yet to honor anyone in my family. What should I do?
Dina

Dear Dina,
Congratulations on the addition to your family. Your parents and grandparents did have names, right? If you're wanting to honor someone on your side of the family, you should. If you husband is too pigheaded to do so with a first name, we'd suggest a middle name. And remember that it's not uncommon for a child these days to have more than one middle name.
So if you have a daughter and your husband wants to name her after his third cousin Melissa and you want to name her Christine after your own grandmother but he's insisting that his fourth cousing Lydia also be acknowledged, use all three. Melissa Christine Lydia? Christine Melissa Lydia? Christine Lydia Melissa?
In an ideal world, it is past time for you to be able to pick the name of your child. If you're needing us to say that to have someone to back you up, tell your husband that we feel you should be allowed to pick the name of this baby.
But if you're just attempting to figure out a way to have some input, we'd suggest adding on a middle name. That doesn't strike us as fair but we're sure that a mother of two with a third on the way knows more than us about how plans and life don't always go down the same path. So if you're looking for a way to adapt, go with the middle name. If you're looking to stand your ground, we agree it's past time for you to pick the name of one of your children.

Dear Third Estate Sunday Review,
My girlfriend is obsessed with corsswords. We'll be watching a DVD or something on TV and she'll reach over, grab her crosswords magazine and start doing one of her puzzles. That's not the problem. The problem is that I've noticed she cheats. I'm wondering what this says about her because I'm thinking about asking her to marry me?
Dustin, Seattle

Dear Dustin,
What's really going on here? You're looking at how she does her crosswords to figure out if she's the right one? Either you're highly suspicious or you already know that she's not the one and you're looking for confirmation on that.
As for the crossword puzzle, we're assuming that you're seeing her peaking at the answers, her cheating, as some indication of a character flaw. Are you thinking that because she cheats at a puzzle, she will cheat on you?
There's another way to read it: She devotes time to something and when she realizes she's reached a brick wall, she moves on. That may indicate that she's practical. Which sounds to us like a trait a woman who marries you will need. By that we mean, if she were, for instance highly romantic, we're not sure she'd be thrilled with the idea that you're checking with strangers on whether or not to propose to her. If she's practical, she might know you well enough to laugh at the whole thing.
We think the issue isn't how she does the crossword puzzle, we think the issue is why you're attempting to figure her out by how she does a crossword puzzle. So we'd encourage you to look inside and determine whether you have trust issues? Or mabye she's not your one? Or maybe you're just going to second guess everything? You know those answer and you'll have to figure it out for your own well being.

Dear Third Estate Sunday Review,
Could you pass on to Ava and Jim that we haven't left the apartment on a Friday in the last ten months (which was after my wife had the baby). So anytime they can review a show that airs on Friday, we'd really appreciate it. We've stuck with ABC and aren't really sure why. But we are interested in what the other networks offer?
Peter

Dear Peter,
Ava and C.I. are noting Living With Fran this edition which airs on Friday nights on the WB. They say they will try to pick out a program that airs on Friday next week as well and that they'll do that for you and your wife. Hope that helps.


For readers with questions who enjoy risking a shot a smart ass answer, e-mail us at thirdestatesundayreview@yahoo.com. (Note if your name and/or location can be used.)