Parody: Post-Its from the desk of John Cloud

Who is John Cloud? The Time writer now infamous for scribbling the mash note cover story to
the never-was Ann Coulter? With that question in mind, we brewed some tea and studied the leaves hoping to find clues.

Post-Its from the desk of John Cloud.

RE: SAVAGE
Remember that we're looking for a title like "Michael Savage: The Wiener Man Cometh It" and that the cover will be shot from a low angle, with Savage's legs spread and a stuffed crotch, so be sure to include adjectives and descriptions to back up the theme!


RE: CRITICISM
You're money, baby. Remember to say that repeatedly throughout the day.

RE: WORKOUT
Too many people are calling me the fat Clay Aiken. Note to self, take the stairs, not the elevator.

RE: RETURNING ANN COULTER'S CALLS
She's annoying and if I hear her bitch about the cover one more time, I'll scream. But call her back because she's providing me with all my witty lines about David Brock. As criticism continues to mount, I will need more.

RE: ARCHIVES
Stop being dicked around by the guys in archives. Need to have my August 22, 2004 valentine to the young conservatives removed before someone notices it and starts questioning not just my journalistic methods but possible partisan motivations. Do not go to mid-level! Take it to the top! Even if that means calling on Mickey Mouse himself!

RE: ARCHIVES II
Mickey Mouse hard to reach. But at least get them to delete this sentence from my August 22, 2004 article:
"What does a woman REALLY want?" asks a flyer promoting a 2000 speech at the University of Delaware by conservative Michelle Easton. The answer: "Husband. Children. Picket Fence." A 2001 flyer for an Ann Coulter talk at Cornell depicts the Confederate battle flag (Coulter, the angular, clamorous polemicist, is one of YAF's most popular speakers).

RE: BRIAN MONTOPOLI
Continue prank calls, show the little pisher he can't fuck with the big boys and get away with it!
The Water Cooler's supposed to be a bunch of softball questions! Suzie Q. did it Friday. Next time only speak to CJR Daily if I can get Suzy Q!

RE: SUNDAY
Brunch at John Stossel's. Remember I'm down for the O.J. Print e-mail as proof in case dopey
Anita Bryant fucks up and forgets what she's supposed to bring again.

RE: NIGHTMARE
Talked to shrink about line about Ithaca College from August 22nd article. Could it get me into trouble? "You don't have to spend much time at the college to see that liberals run the place."

RE: CAREER MOVE
Ann Coulter just passed on that Nightline is strongly interested in her co-hosting with Jake Tapper and that I would make a great panelist. Says there could be Bush money involved. Remember not to make anymore cracks about her Adam's apple, this is money!

RE: BRIAN MONTOPOLI PRANK
The mock up issue with the phoney cover story "Candy Necklaces Cause Mouth Cancer" is printed up and waiting to be delivered to Montopoli. Oh to be a fly on the wall when he sees the cover!