Sunday, March 06, 2005

Editorial: A note to one reader

We love our e-mails. We find a lot of smart people. We also find a few idiots. Not your usual garden variety type of future clock tower snipers, mind you, but people whom we've commented on.

We can note that many journalists have written in either to have their say or have the last word (depends on the way you look at it). We don't get why, if you feel we misinterpreted something, you wouldn't want to go public with your comments.

But here's food for thought, if we say an apple is a form of a food and you want to differ and demand that we label it as a fruit, go split hairs somewhere else. So, for instance, if we see contractors who are paid by the government as government employees and you see them as independent workers (freelancers?) don't waste your time writing in. Such comments only provoke loud laughter on this end.

But we want to address a certain someone (trust us, they're reading and they already know we're talking to them). If you have so much to say and feel the need to sick your posse on us as well . . . Clue one, tell 'em not to write "X passed me your story and told me to let you know how offended I am by what you wrote about X so here it is . . ."

Kind of defeats the whole "ground uprising" mood you're probably going for, no?

Here's another tip for you and your minions (you had six minions, by the way -- maybe some only told you they wrote?), don't threaten us.

Don't offer us some "reward" you think will bribe us. Your idea of a "reward" may not be our idea. Get it?


Well for instance, when we read remarks to the effect of "You need to stop linking to/working with/referring to The Common Ills because they are hated and you will never be acknowledged while you link/work with/refer to them . . ." -- we find you daft at best.

Hey, putzy, what makes you think we care about the links you care about? Or the ones you try to tempt us with?

And there's nothing you can offer that will make us turn on The Common Ills. Maybe you don't get it, but we are members of The Common Ills community. We went there, we liked what we saw and finally we were inspired to do our own blog.

We don't need your offer of links. We don't want your offer of links.

We don't give a flying fuck who you know or what you can do (or think you can). So you and your minions can go fuck yourselves.

We also want to note something else, and pay close attention here, if you and your minions ever offer your bribes/threats again, you'll find that the following Sunday will feature all of the e-mails.

That's right.

You'll be exposed for the little dicked asshole you are. For anyone to see. For all to see. And We're not sure how that will go over with certain people (you know who we mean).

So knock it off.

We talked to C.I. about it (and Rebecca who's assisting us with this entry). C.I. said at The Common Ills, when those e-mails come in, they are trashed. The policy is that only people who ask to be quoted are quoted. So what would you do if you were in charge of The Third Estate Sunday Review? "Considering that this is someone who's a professional writer and the language being used, if you want to print it, that's your business." Would you? "No."

Rebecca: "Why does everyone get all the groovy e-mails! I've had some old guys in the press ask me my measurements or if I swallow but that's usually all I ever get! I say print them. Every one, especially the fan club members who say they're writing because [X] told them to."

So we took a vote and this time, this time, your ass is safe. It was two to three. However, once this goes up, we are all five in agreement that if you and your minions ever attempt to bribe/threaten again, we will out your unethical ass so quickly you won't know what happened.

As C.I. would say, "Translation," cut the shit unless you want it to be public knowledge.

We're not turning on Rebecca, we're not turning on Folding Star and we're not turning on C.I.
Apparently you and your minions think we're media whores with a price on our ass. You are mistaken. Your "access" is not anything we give a damn about.

We would have thought that was obvious from anything we have posted here.

But apparently it's not clear to some weak minds.

Maybe next you and your minions will dash off e-mails to Folding Star or Rebecca telling them to end their relationship with C.I. and us. Because that's how your tactics read.

You seem to think that you have some power in the world. You may or may not have "access," but that doesn't interest us. We're not into your "access." We don't want your "access."

People who want to read our shit will come here. People who don't know about us will learn about us. We've done really well without your access (and our print edition is quite popular) so what makes you think we're longing for your idea of the big time?

And how cheap and unethical do you think we are? The first sailor waives a ten spot and we're ready to drop our drawers? We don't think so.

What does that say about your view of the world anyway?

Is this how you reached your level? If it is, that says a great deal about you and your priorities.

Like Amy Goodman, we're interested in truth. Unlike Ms. Goodman, we're rude, crude and nasty. So "bucko" (a term your minions love) don't fuck with us, as Faye Dunaway said in Mommy Dearest, this ain't our first time at the rodeo.

For those of you who have quarrelled with us in the past but didn't threaten or bribe, this doesn't apply to you. If you need to privately reply or just have the last word, continue to write. We can use the chuckles. But the person we're speaking to isn't wondering, "Are they talking about me?" The person we're writing to knows they're being talked to.

One more bullshit e-mail (with or without minions) and we'll post your message here for everyone to see. We don't give a damn. We don't have to.

We are The Third Estate Sunday Review.
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