While we were compiling our last edition, we were happily surprised to learn that Common Ills community member Wally had started his own site, The Daily Jot. Though Wally was able to work with us on one feature (the CD review), we weren't able to do an interview or profile on him. ("Or much else," Dona notes ruefully.) Fortunately, Mike was on top of it and by Wednesday had an interview with Wally up at Mikey Likes It!
We were impressed with Mike's skill in the interview (Mike and Wally have been friends for some time -- Wally's one of the people who suggested Mike start his own site), with Wally's openess and with their ability to switch from heavy topics to lighter ones.
"My Interview With Wally"
Good morning. Posting delayed due to typing up this interview. (I hate typing.) I'll have an entry this evening but no way to finish this last night. We've got the interview with Wally of The Daily Jot. But first, two items from Democracy Now! that you should know about.
Baltimore Tunnel Threat Turns Out to Be Hoax
For the second time in as many weeks, the credibility of an intelligence threat that led to a terror scare in a major metropolitan city in the United States is being questioned. Two major car tunnels were closed in Baltimore Tuesday following information gleaned from an informant in FBI custody. But intelligence officials now say the informant's warning appears to have been an attempt to exact revenge on a Maryland resident he named as one of eight suspects for being involved with his girlfriend. All eight suspects were Egyptian-born Maryland residents. Last week, a terror scare led to a heightened alert and increased security presence on New York City's subways. Officials later conceded the intelligence that led to the threat warning was a hoax.
Chertoff Pledges Crackdown on Undocumented Immigrants
Homeland Security Director Michael Chertoff is promising to immediately deport all undocumented immigrants caught in the United States. Chertoff vowed to end the so-called "catch and release" policy that has reportedly allowed 10,000 undocumented immigrants to remain in the country. Appearing before the Senate Judiciary Committee yesterday, Chertoff said : "If they think that they can come across the border and get released, they're going to keep coming... Return every single illegal entrant - no exceptions." Chertoff made the announcement shortly before President Bush signed the $32 billion homeland security bill. The Associated Press reports the bill includes a large increase in border patrol funding but less money for local emergency first responders and a freeze in transit security funding.
There were nine community sites last Friday:
The Common Ills
Sex and Politics and Screeds and Attitude
The Third Estate Sunday Review
Thomas Friedman Is a Great Man
Kat's Korner (of The Common Ills)
Mikey Likes It!
Cedric's Big Mix
Like Maria Said Paz
Seth in the City
Saturday, the number rose to ten when Wally started The Daily Jot. I'm talking to Wally.
Wally: For the hour!
For the hour!!
For the hour! We better stop or that'll be your whole interview.
Okay, but let me drop back and explain that we're doing Larry King and that the first time we spoke on the phone, Larry King was on in the background and you were doing your impersonation of him. Now whenever we're on the phone, we'll do dueling Larry Kings. Now let me say, Why you gotta make Cedric and me come off like fools?
(Laughing) Ouch. You're talking about your interview with Cedric where you were trying to figure out who the two new bloggers would be and one of you says "Oh, I know it's not Wally."
Cedric says that. What's up with that Wally? Why you gotta front like that?
You knew about Seth.
Right. C.I. told me about Seth but I didn't know you were planning to start up.
It's one of those things you think about but you're not sure you can pull off so you don't talk about it too much.
What weren't you sure of? That you could do it every day?
Man, I didn't want to do like you and put in all this time. I mean, I don't have it, you know, the time. But I did want to do something and like a fortune cookie for the left is how Gina sees it.
A fortune cookie for the left? I like it. So you just wanted to do a line or two each day?
Right. I can make time for that. I can handle that.
Why The Daily Jot title? I've got readers who think you're taking a poke at Bob Somerby.
He wishes! No. The Daily Jot because it's just a jot. It's not even fair to call it a jotting. And the hope is to do it five times a week. In a way, it's like the thing Will Durst does at The Progressive but not as funny. It's not like an op-ed or a report, it's just a jot. Hopefully several times a week.
Any thoughts on The Daily Howler?
It's sad to see someone trash his own work by making himself so useless. You're thinking of the interview I did of C.I. for the gina & krista round-robin?
Yeah, and to back up there, I was going to interview C.I. here and you were going to do an interview for the round-robin but then something came up, I lost my interview and you're the only one in the community to do an interview with C.I.
Besides Beth.
Right, but Beth is the ombudsman. Back to The Daily Howler.
Well, it's like C.I. and I discussed in the round-robin interview. How do you miss Judy Miller? You're covering the press and you don't write one damn word on it. Until Wilson comes along and even then. How do you miss that? What's the biggest journalistic story of our time? Probably this decade will be Judith Miller and her WMD coverage but Bob Somerby's got nothing. That's his beat. That's what he's supposed to cover. Where the hell was he? That's a huge embarrassment. Now he wants to come along and piss all over the people raising issues and, me, I wonder how much of it has to do with the fact that he was sleeping on the job and missed the biggest story of the decade. Not just big because people talk about it but big because it was a stepping stone to war, not the only one, others played along too. But I mean, we're at war, Bob Somerby's fucking useless. He's a dottering old man saying, "Billy Kristol made a point the other day" or some other crap. He's useless. Take away his keys, he shouldn't be driving anymore. He's an old crank telling you the same old story for the 80th time and it's disgusting. "Bill Clinton in 1993 . . ." It's like, shine it on somewhere else you old fool. I mean, we are at war, people are dying and he wants to write about how nice his friend Mary Matilin is. It's like, "Shut up, go away." It's like the book by John Le Carre, The Russia House, where Katya tells Barley that she hopes he's not being frivilous because she only has time in her life for the truth. That's what a reader of Bob Somerby has to be thinking these days -- that he's just frivilous now and that in life right now, there just isn't time for that.
Because?
Because we have troops on the ground in Afghanistan and Iraq and he's stuck jerking off on election 2000. And day after day, he's lecturing and making fun of all these people trying to say something like Atrios or Digby -- I don't even know Digby and never read him or her but I know I got sick of hearing Digby trashed -- when all he has to say is "My friend Al Gore" or "let's talk about test scores." I mean in his geezer circuit it's probably passing for news, the junk he's talking about. But where has he been on Judith Miller and where has been on Iraq period? That mattered in the last few years and matters right now. Not that Maureen Dowd told a joke he didn't like. And the roundtable, I read that thing and I started thinking, "Yeah, why is he trashing women all the damn time?" You can tell C.I.'s sick of him. That was obvious when C.I. pointed out that Katrina vanden Heuvel was right and that Bob was wrong. Bob's wrong a lot but what is it, one correction in a year?
How is he wrong a lot?
He argues his opinion and with guys it's like "Okay so this is my opinion and I may be wrong" but with women it's like "You're stupid! You're an idiot!" And what's the whole "I won't peer into someone's soul" thing that's supposed to be operating principle. Didn't he do that with the woman he was calling out for election 2000 this week? A woman who apparently wasn't established enough to write about it then but Misogynist Bob has to make her the one responsible and keep on about how she would have done the same thing everyone else did. How does he know? He doesn't. But he's not rational when it comes to women. He really reads like a misogynist. You should hear my mom on him.
Really. What does she say?
She says white men of his class who are winding down the middle age years and are sexists tend to think if they throw a crumb here or there that they aren't. And she says that's why he throws to Naomi Klein.
Naomi Wolf.
Wolf. Thank you, Naomi Wolf. Yeah, Naomi Klein doesn't exist in his little neoliberal world of Clintonista. But, and this came up in the interview at the round-robin and C.I. might write about it, he'll sacrifice Wolfe even. He'll never call Eric Alterman out, the lisping scold. Alterman insults Wolf and gets his facts wrong but you'll never hear Bob Somerby call him on that. And we saw that my mom and C.I. are both right on that because today he's quoting his buddy Eric again but he still has never taken the time to say "Eric is wrong about Naomi Wolf." He won't do it. Eric Alterman is so annoying with that lisping voice, he sounds like that cartoon cat.
Sylvester.
Right. And he whimpers and acts like he's about to cry. I mean, even on Charlie Rose on PBS he's about to burst into tears. This is our brave voice? It's like, "Go write another bad book about Bruce Springsteen to prove your manhood again, Alterman."
You hate Eric Alterman.
Oh God do I. He's such a pompous little effete thing. It's funny to hear on The Majority Report with Janeane Garofalo where he's trying to act like he's this smart person and strong voice but all he sounds like is a snotty little boy who only knows how to communicate with women by insulting them.
Sounds like Bob Somerby.
Well I've never heard Somerby on the radio but yeah they both love insulting women. Somerby's like a slasher going after Ashley Judd when a woman comes up at The Daily Howler. Men never get that treatment at The Daily Howler, just women. He'll do one of his "David Brooks makes a strong point" and you read that and think, "David Brooks has lied more often than he's told the truth" but he'll always go easy on the men. When it's a woman, he's unreasonable and just getting off on how mean and disgusting he can be. I loved that thing C.I. did yesterday. Put it in this.
Okay. This is from The Common Ills yesterday:
Ellen wonders what our latter day, online Dylan would make of that? Oh, Ellie, he's still on his Shot of Love tour, staggering from town to town, making noises about changes but nothing's changed. Despite the claim that it was time for a change in subject matter and focus. Today's targets? Just about everyone.
Which makes the claims about a change dubious. It's a bit like Dylan saying, "I'm thinking of touring with the Band." Or getting back together with Joan Baez. No new Rolling Thunder tour coming but got to keep the people hoping. Today, he's going after Wilson again. And explaining to us that 1992 was the year of change at the New York Times by God! Proving that the professor's grip grows looser and looser. The war on Social Security, the air kisses to Reagan, that's the 1980s but it's easier, apparently, to once again make it all about Clinton and/or Gore. And, point of fact, the Times clowned more often than not the entire last century but the professor missed all of that. He's probably not even aware of their infamous Woodstock coverage which veered down one road, up the other and then circled back. Live by the public record . . .
It's as though, once upon a time, say 1992, he heard, "It all began in a little town called Hope
. . ." and he blanked on everything that came before. Was hearing that like Dylan hearing Woody Guthrie for the first time? We just don't know.
The Shot of Love tour goes on (current Dylan meter reading) but ticket sales are down and the limited crowd is shouting out requests.
So he does a song and dance on Arianna Huffington. (Is DA Pennebaker getting any of this on film?)
Once upon a time,
not that long ago,
he clowned and clowned,
but didn't tell you so,
those were the days,
when he penned thinks like,
"we like Arianna, a lot more than most,"
and forgot to shout out "Psyche!"
You put the last part like lyrics to a song right? Because the person C.I. dictated it too ran it together like a paragraph.
Yeah, I put in like lyrics.
But that's so true. It wasn't that long ago that Somerby was saying something like "we like Arianna a lot more than most" and then on Tuesday, you find out how much he hates her as he rips her apart. So what was that earlier nonsense about? He's just nonsense. And that same day he used a dirty word and put in asterick to avoid putting it up there but this is the man who pulled a Cheney and dropped the f-bomb over and over not all that long ago when he had his snit fit with Atrios.
Are you a big Atrios fan?
Not really. You know how our generation, yours and mine, feels about sites that put out a sentence and then think the readers comments can somehow cut it. I don't want to read 120 comments with about 90% sucking up to the site and 10% having something that might actually be information.
And the petty little wars going on in the comments.
Oh I know. "I've been coming to this site forever, how dare you say that to me!" The troll wars. (Laughing.) If that's the contribution you're remembered for, God help you. Atrios works at Media Matters so he'll be remembered for a bit more than some folks and I'll just leave it at that.
I know the ones you mean.
All these people don't realize how out of date they are. Atrios will also be saved by the fact that he's not screaming for more troops. But there are a lot of biggies who are going down and they don't realize it because their personality cults keep visiting and praising. But there's this whole current moving against them. Bob Somerby's like that. He's made himself useless because all he cares about is what someone said on some dopey cable show. There's a whole world out there but Bob Somerby's apparently confined to a small section of the United States. When the people he so obviously wants to be like, the mainstream media, focus on New Orleans, he can do that too. Otherwise, he might as well be a Sunday Chat & Chewer. Lot of change has happened and Bob Somerby doesn't grasp that. Atrios will probably be okay because he's likeable on the radio and people don't make fun of the way he talks the way they do some of the other net biggies.
Of the net biggies, who do you think gets the change?
I don't know if Bill Scher gets it or he just got lucky doing Liberal Oasis the way he did but no one rags on Bill. You never walk in a classroom and hear somebody mocking him. Sometimes you'll hear people disagree with him on a point or something but no one mocks him for "cat blogging" or "a thread is a lonely thing." Either he's got no interest in a chat room or he realizes that if people want chat rooms, they'll go there.
Does Bob Somerby get it?
I have no idea. I laughed so hard the first time C.I. said it was starting to feel like you were watching the Grammys when you read The Daily Howler. You know, back when Somerby was giving his "props" and doing his "shout outs." That was so embarrassing. To see an old man trying to suck up. It was like desperation time. Since then, I only go there to laugh or get frustrated. My mom reads him and she was a fan until the Grammy period. She got skeptical during the whole Lawrence Summers nonsense. And then when he was trying to weigh in on Guantanamo she just thought he was an idiot trotting out his Washington Post or New York Times or whatever articles when the whole point of Guantanamo is that the mainstream press has been relucatant to tell you the truth on that. You can go to the BBC or mainstream from England but in this country, forget it. Bob Somerby's just an idiot. Do you link to him?
Like everyone else in the community who does, I'm waiting for C.I. to pull the link and then I'll do the same. But yeah, he is an idiot. There was some good work in the past but not anymore. Did he even cover Abu Ghraib?
I don't think so. It doesn't interest him. He's too busy telling you what mean thing someone said about Al Gore in 1999. I can't believe we've spent so much time on him.
Hey, you had a lot to say.
Yeah but that's because you asked if The Daily Jot was a title making fun of The Daily Howler and, dude, no, I wouldn't want anyone to ever think that.
Got you. C.I.'s thinking about writing about Somerby tonight.
I hope that happens.
Okay, so I have a question from Joe and he wants to know why you're 19 and a freshman in college.
No problem. You already know this but I was in a really bad car accident when I was 8 years old and with the therapy and all I missed out on school.
We've talked about this on the phone and I'm not sure what to ask here because I know this was a big thing in your life and I'm not sure how much you want to go into it.
No problem. Short story. Summer. I was in little league. We'd gone to get pizza. That's the team with their families. On the way home, this drunk driver plows into our car. My mom had to have stiches but was otherwise okay. Dad and I were on the left side of the car which is where the drunk plowed into, the left side. I really don't remember much about it. But that's how Dad died.
I'm sorry.
Not your fault. But it was real hard on Mom because she lost Dad and they weren't sure for almost a month if I was going to make it. Then it was months and months of physical therapy. So I was behind in school because of the year I missed.
Was your mom real protective after that?
She says she was and that Grandpa straightened her out on that. I don't really remember that. I just remember the next summer she was like, "Do you want to play baseball?" and I did because that was something Dad and I did. That's really what I remember about him, tossing the ball with him in the backyard. Him teaching me how to throw and stuff like that. But that was apparently a big deal because, and I don't remember this, don't know if they even talked about stuff like this in front of me, but there was this talk about how the whole thing was a sign and how I was going to have to be careful and stuff but Grandpa was all against that and he and Mom had big arguments. I'm sure that's how it happened but I don't remember that. I remember stuff like saying, "I'm going to play football" and Mom going along with it. So I think this all took place while I was out of it or like away from me because I don't remember any of that. I remember Mom living at the hospital because I'd fall asleep and she'd be there and I'd wake up and she'd be there. I think it was really hard on her but I don't remember much. I remember being in a lot of pain and I remember being real frustrated in physical therapy a lot because I couldn't get my feet to do what I wanted them to and stuff. That's what I remember. That and the nurses. I had really nice nurses who made me smile even when I didn't feel like laughing. I remember three of them and I even remember one's name, Ann. Ann was the night nurse and she was always coming in and saying something silly to try to get me to smile or laugh. And she'd always be going on about how I was doing good and all. Making progress and stuff. But all the nurses were really nice to me and I remember that.
And you recovered physically.
Yeah. I've got a nasty scar on my left side but most of the others have faded or shrunk and you can't really see them.
Now you're doing The Daily Jot and you say it's to be a smart ass and hopefully make people laugh so I'm wondering if you think that period in the hospital has anything to do with that?
It probably does. People need to laugh and I'm one of those guys who likes to laugh and be silly so I'm sure that comes from that. But Mom has a good sense of humor and I remember Dad laughing a lot so it probably has to do with that too.
I'm also wondering if you think that has anything to do with your feelings about Bob Somerby's Daily Jerk Off?
Oh, I'm sure. I mean, I lost my dad, I almost didn't make it. And now we've got two wars and people are dying and, yeah, it does offend me that we're talking about real life or death things and Bob Somerby's doing his Daily Jerk Off about some nonsense that someone said on cable TV or wrote in a paper. It's like, Dude, there's important stuff and you're still focused on 1999. I mean, I could be whining about the car wreck every other day if I wanted to live in the past. I think I'd have a better excuse for living in the past than what Bob Somerby has. But it's like, "Suck it up and grow up already." Yeah, he ticks me off with his nonsense. Life's too short.
How's it been blogging? You got a few days under your belt.
Yeah, two more days and I'll have a full week! I'll be an expert! (Laughing.) The big problem I'm having is I can't e-mail the stuff. C.I.'s going to help me try to figure out what's going on there this weekend. When I set it up C.I. talked me through and I thought I did it so I could e-mail a post to the site but I tried that on Sunday and it didn't work so I ended up just putting it up the regular way. If I could e-mail it in, it would be a lot easier. You don't use the e-mail option, do you?
No, I think C.I.'s the only one in the community who does. I'd offer to help you on that but I don't know how to.
It's cool.
What did you think of Beth's thing?
I loved it but where were you?
I didn't want to be quoted. I told her she could sum me up but I didn't want to be quoted.
You know what I liked? I liked that she offered her opinion and took a stand. This could have been a fluff thing like some paper's mea culpa. She spoke to people and got their opinion and then reconstructed it that way.
Did she speak to you?
Yeah, I had like ten minutes because I had practice but she did call me. I told her I joined you guys for the CD review and that I really didn't know much about before but I knew that Dona kept saying "We need to focus" during the CD thing. And then after Ava and C.I. were doing their own thing and this was still a huge topic. I thought, and I wasn't there for most of it, but reading it I thought Beth gave a straight forward take on it. And if you're going to do something like that, look at how something fell apart, that's how you do it. Not the way the New York Times did Sunday with Judith Miller.
Readers of my site have heard about you because you are a buddy and someone whose opinion I value. Lauren e-mailed that she likes your site and laughs but you're nothing like what she thought you'd be from my talking about you.
Well you know we all have a lot of sides. At The Daily Jot, I'm just blowing off at the mouth and trying to be funny. That's one side of me. But, and I read you so I know what you've said, when you talk about me, you key in on that part of me that's about how there are things you get worked up about and there are things that are just not worth the time.
Yeah, you've got a great perspective and there are times when I'm pissed off about something and we'll talk and I realize that whatever pissed me off doesn't really matter that much or at least not as much as I thought it did.
Yeah, well, let me say I love your site. Counter-recruiting is a big thing and I'm glad you cover it and I'm glad you make me laugh and talk about stuff that maybe seems too whatever for old guys but you'll talk about it. Like the kid yesterday who wore himself raw beating off. You took his question and dealt with it.
Which brings us to Lauren's question, have you ever had a problem with crotch rot?
With odor, no. (Laughing) Or I don't think so and none of the ladies ever pointed out. But I do have a problem with my boxers. They all end up getting holes right around the inner leg and all. Same things with my jeans. They will wear out there. I don't know what that is. (Laughing) Probably the strain from my impressive package.
Betty had a question for you. She called me today. She wants to know what is it about "you young men" that makes you go to the groin?
She's talking about the question on the profile, right?
Right.
That was my third question option. I was trying to hurry because C.I. needed to get to work with The Third Estate Sunday Review. Then that question came up and I just went with it.
"Paper or briefs?" "Breifs! No depends here! I pack a mean tighty whitey!"
Yeah, C.I. laughed and said something like, "That's why you get along so well with Mike."
Because of my question and answer: If you were a cannibal, what would you wear to dinner? Just the bone, just the bone. Munch on that.
We like our dicks jokes, what can I say? Or making boastful jokes. Betty wasn't offended, was she?
No, she was laughing. But she said you put two nineteen year old males together and that's what you'll get.
I feel like I let her down then! We really didn't go there much.
No, we didn't. But we'll do another interview where we do.
I know. I was thinking about how much we talked and remembering how you hate typing.
I hate typing!
So we should probably wind down.
Yep. My buddy Wally, who enjoys a good dick joke, blogs at The Daily Jot. Check him out.
No, no, Mike. You have to say "I've been . . ."
Oh yeah. I've been talking to Wally of The Daily Jot FOR THE HOUR!
FOR THE HOUR!
Thanks, Wally.
Thank you, Mike.
the third estate sunday review
like maria said paz
cedrics big mix
mikey likes it
sex and politics and screeds and attitude
thomas friedman is a great man
kats korner
the daily jot
the common ills
seth in the city
Sunday, October 23, 2005
Humor spotlight: Betty on the New York Times "Keeping Us Ill Informed"
As always, you say "humor" and we scream "Betty!" Betty thinks she's sinking with each new installment of Betinna at Thomas Friedman is a Good Man, but we think she's to close to it to grasp how funny it is.
This week, Betinna and Thomas Friedman throw a party, which means Betinna does all the work and Thomas Friedman shows up in his shorty robe. If you have "Times select" priv. go ahead and read the column Friedman chicken scratched. It'll make Betinna's dinner party even funnier. But if you don't have access, just read Betty's latest chapter below. You'll still laugh.
We'll note again that Betty's kids are back in school in day care and she's "struggling like crazy."
Translation, she's only able to do a chapter a week since school started back up. There's always something to grab at the store that she didn't realize was needed until there's a kid's project. There's this errand and that errand.
We say: Sure, we'd love it if we could read a chapter a day. But we'll settle for one a week and be damn happy we got that.
"Keeping Us Ill Informed"
Life since Friday has been, more than usual, a living hell.
Friday morning I made the mistake of reading the latest column by my husband Thomas Friedman. Things have not been good between us since the trip to Jersey.
As he goes through bottle after bottle of vitamins as though they are Pez candies and I inch ever closer to the door of freedom (which actually involves keeping our place and sending him packing), I remember something a woman must have told me as a child: "It is work."
That is my first real memory and I am wondering if I have recovered it because it is a message.
Recent events have had me wondering about my own family living in whatever village they live. With mudslides and hurricanes, they may be gone.
Many months ago, I pulled the atlas down from the book case. This was when I was a complete idiot and still believed that if Thomas Friedman said it, it must be true. So I wasted hours looking in vain for "Back Water Village."
Now that I know that was intended as an insult, I know little else and Thomas Friedman always tells me when I ask, "Betinna, you have blocked it all out for a reason. Listen to the great Thomas Friedman."
So when I heard a voice, I like to think it is my mother's, telling me: "It is work" . . . I took it as a sign. No other memories or sound bytes have surfaced thus far but I hold out hope.
And I have tried to follow the words of my mother. Friday, it took three hours, but I made it through Thomas Friedman's latest: "Keeping Us In The Race." I had a nasty bruise on my chin from hitting it three times on the kitchen table as I nodded off while Thomas Friedman molested the English language in a way far worse than I, "ESL Betinna" as Thomas Friedman calls me, ever could.
Having finished the column, I set about doing what Thomas Friedman wrote of, planning a lively dinner that would promote indepth, issue oriented conversation. Knowing that he will not listen to me, I made sure on Friday to invite lively people.
I invited Ty because he is funny and because Thomas Friedman is scared of black brothers so I thought that would help keep Thomas Friedman in line. If one brother, or "bra" as Thomas Friedman insisted upon calling Ty, could keep Thomas Friedman in line, surely two would be even better so I also invited Cedric. Cedric is tall and imposing and just moved into the building. To make sure Thomas Friedman would stay awake, I invited our neighbor Rebecca who usually pretends not to notice that Thomas Friedman drools over her breasts until, as she puts it, he gets too close with that breath more deadly than anthrax. To have someone newsy and well read, I invited dear Gail Collins because I know she spends most Friday nights at home watching America's Most Talented Kid. She claims she's just "really into" reality television but Elaine and I know she uses PAX TV to feel the empty void in her life.
She outed herself on our trip to DC when she wondered what it would be like "to be really glamorous and independent like that Sue Thomas, FB Eye." I invited the new neighbor from across the hall whom I don't know much about except his name is Seth and he's always carrying a book so I figured he must be smart. I figured right because he declined the invitation. I invited Jess because he's always so polite and nice to me and he's real easy on the eyes as well.
Mrs. K was desperate for an invite and dropped hints as the hours grew closer to the dinner party.
"Betinna," she sobbed, "I cannot take another Friday night of franks and beans and Nicky K."
I hear her. Believe me, I do. But since Thomas Friedman and Nicky K's last encounter ended with Thomas Friedman's hands wrapped tightly around Nicky's neck, I lied and said I had already dangerously exceeded the guest to chair ratio.
She was a good sport and pretended to understand but in the background I could hear Nicky K asking her to pull the TV dinner trays in front of the TV because he felt like watching The Sandlot during dinner one more time.
I was kind of surprised that a woman as smart as she is, married to a columnist for the New York Times, could spend so many empty nights and then I remembered my own sinking boat of a marriage.
At the deli I bumped into a playwright named Ron and thought "How New York!" and immediately invited him to the party on the spot.
I thought I had an interesting mix and was eager for the evening to begin. I had hand washed Thomas Friedman's silk shorty robe and thought not making an issue out of his wearing the robe would make the evening easier. Maybe people would find him avant garde?
He was in the kitchen rifling through the sacks of take out and wondering why we couldn't just have Ritz crackers and canned cheese?
"It's good enough for David E. Sanger and he hangs out at the White House," Thomas Friedman huffed.
I put on some Sade and the guests made small talk while Thomas Friedman kept following me around insisting that if I had to do take out, Mickey Dees has a perfectly suitable dinner menu.
Needing a break from his whining, I lied and said I didn't think Rebecca was wearing a bra tonight.
I didn't see him for a half hour which gave me just enough time to warm everything up and set it out. As I did, Gail Collins saddled up beside me and whispered that she thought Ron had "a Newland Archer quality." Having heard that he was single, I tried to suggest she go talk to him.
"Oh dare I?" she asked giddy with excitement. "Dare I, Betinna, dare I? Can you imagine the passion that could exist between us? The type of passion one only comes across in the novels of Edith Wharton."
"Uh-huh," I said counting the water glasses.
"He would be mad for me, mad, mad, mad. And I for him. And then we would steal away for a private moment."
Private moment?
Who knew Gail Collins had it in her?
I was all ears waiting for the naughty bits to begin.
"He would press his cheek to mine and I would press mine to his. Oh Betinna, the moment could be so magical. And then I would look at him with longing and regret as I declared that for us to stay together would kill what I loved in him most. Just like the Countess tells Archer."
"Damn it, Gail," I said frustrated since she long ago exceeded the sell-date on her own Age of Innocence, "you're not the lead in a period novel. You're a grown woman. You have urges."
Gail giggled nervously as a blush crossed her cheeks and she bowed her head.
Ignoring her, I announced dinner was ready and everyone took their assigned seats.
Right away, Cedric brought up an interesting topic, the committment we need to make to our communities, the need to engage on the most basic level.
Thomas Friedman, staring at Rebecca's chest, offered, "I engage on the most basic level."
Rolling her eyes, lighting up and reaching for the wine bottle, Rebecca attempted to ignore him.
"What I'm saying," Cedric continued, "is that we are our environment."
"Don't be bringing your revolutionary talk to my dinner table, Cedric X," Thomas Friedman snapped.
I tried to convey "Ignore him" with my eyes but I think Cedric was already two steps ahead of me.
"I'm saying that we don't just owe a societal debt, we have a societal investment."
"Watch out for that one," Thomas Friedman said to Ty, "he'll be looting before the night is over."
And that was it for Ty and Cedric who both rose from the table and walked out.
"Hey, who invited the PC police!" Thomas Friedman called out loudly, greatly amused with himself while I implored Jess, Rebecca and Ron to stay a bit more.
Gail Collins was too busy trying to strike coy and demure poses to register anything that was said.
Jess tried to save the evening by talking about the importance of arts.
"Arts, schmarts. Give me Baby Spice shaking it in a tight skirt and that's all the culture I need! You hear me, Rob?"
"Ron," I corrected.
"Hey, what was the deal with Ginger Spice? She was a chunky little plain thing. If I want to see that, I can pop over to Gail's office."
"Oh, Thomas," Gail Collins cooed.
"Ron's a playwright," I said attempting to steer the conversation to some of those higher topics Thomas Friedman spoke of in his column.
"The last good play was Hair," Thomas Friedman said opening another bottle of wine.
"You like musicals, do you?" asked Jess.
"I like boobs. Bouncing boobs. Big boobs. Naked boobs. Naked broads. That's theatre!"
"Oh my," Gail Collins said fanning herself furiously, "It's getting so racy. Betinna, is this a blue party?"
"Ron, what kind of plays do you write?" I asked still thinking I could create that magical, serious dinner discussion that Thomas Friedman had spoken of.
"Well --"
"You got naked broads in 'em?" Thomas Friedman asked drinking straight from the bottle. "Naked broads sell tickets."
"Actually, it's a political play," Ron explained.
"Boring. B-O boring," Thomas Friedman declared leaping to his feet and heading towards Rebecca. "You know what people like? Sexual choreography."
With that Thomas Friedman attempted to thrust his crotch in Rebecca's face repeatedly until she reached over, grabbed him by his testicles and offered, "Kimono boy, you can park it in your chair with everything intact or you can lose these mini-marshmallows right now."
Muttering under his breath, Thomas Friedman returned to his seat while Gail Collins leaned in close to Ron.
"The air is ripe with the the heat of passion. Will you join me on the balconey?" Gail asked Ron.
Before he could reply, Thomas Friedman hollered, "Balconey? It's a fire escape! Good God, Collins, it's like you have 40 Year Old Virgin carved in your frumpy forehead!"
Flushed with anger, Gail Collins nodded to me, "Betinna, I bid you good night."
Attempting to be a gentleman, Ron stood which Gail took to mean he wanted to leave with her.
Clutching him firmly, Gail Collins declared to the confused Ron, "You couldn't be happy if it meant being cruel. If we act any other way I'll be making you act against what I love in you most. And I can't go back to that way of thinking. Don't you see? I can't love you unless I give you up."
As she left sobbing, Ron declared, "She lost me at hello."
Thomas Friedman found that hilarious.
"Jerry MacGuire! Funny movie! With a subtext! Jerry represents Michael Jackson!"
Well it wasn't the pressing issue of how to fix the country or a discussion of the theater but maybe there was still hope for the evening?
"Know what was missing?" Thomas Friedman asked. "Sexy broads. You hear me, Roy?"
"Ron," I again corrected.
"Big boobed, sexy broads," Thomas Friedman said, ignoring me and punctuating his 'critique' with a belch.
"That Renee Zellwigger, she'd shrink the nads with her sour puss face," Thomas Friedman declared downing more wine. "Hollywood ain't go no hot broads? Is that it? All the fine pieces of tail are off making Girls Gone Wild videos? Pretty soon, they'll be left to cast Judy Miller! Anyone else notice that she dropped a ton in jail? Lost the double chins. Looks like she had work done but forgot to fix the boobs!"
Suddenly everyone broke into yawns and noted the late hour before leaving.
"Great dinner," Thomas Friedman declared, scratching his armpit with the neck of a wine bottle. "Great conversation. I could get a column out of tonight. We should do this more often."
And repeat the 20 most embarrassing minutes of my life?
As I cleaned up, Thomas Friedman began ticking off the subjects he felt we'd covered: Freedom of the press (his mention of Judith Miller), the dearth of solid entertainment (the lack of nude women on stage and "hot broads" in movies), Hurricane Katrina (his crack about looting) . . .
As I scraped the plates, I thought again of Mrs. K having to fake enthusiasm over seeing The Sandlot yet again. I thought about the dinner party. And it suddenly hit me that everyone who writes for the Times creates their own myths. It's not just Judy with her WMD coverage, it's everyone. In his columns, Nicky K strikes a brave stance despite being one of the biggest cry babies in the tri-state area. Todd S. Purdum pretends to be close to the action despite the fact that his odor results in everyone backing away, far away, from him. Dexter Filkins pretends that he's traveling up and down Iraq and seeing things with his own eyes.
These bores are the great fakes poisoning our discourse.
the new york times
thomas friedman
todd s. purdum
nicholas kristof
the common ills
seth in the city
sex and politics and screeds and attitude
like maria said paz
dexter filkins
why are we back in iraq
gail collins
the third estate sunday review
cedrics big mix
thomas friedman is a great man
This week, Betinna and Thomas Friedman throw a party, which means Betinna does all the work and Thomas Friedman shows up in his shorty robe. If you have "Times select" priv. go ahead and read the column Friedman chicken scratched. It'll make Betinna's dinner party even funnier. But if you don't have access, just read Betty's latest chapter below. You'll still laugh.
We'll note again that Betty's kids are back in school in day care and she's "struggling like crazy."
Translation, she's only able to do a chapter a week since school started back up. There's always something to grab at the store that she didn't realize was needed until there's a kid's project. There's this errand and that errand.
We say: Sure, we'd love it if we could read a chapter a day. But we'll settle for one a week and be damn happy we got that.
"Keeping Us Ill Informed"
Life since Friday has been, more than usual, a living hell.
Friday morning I made the mistake of reading the latest column by my husband Thomas Friedman. Things have not been good between us since the trip to Jersey.
As he goes through bottle after bottle of vitamins as though they are Pez candies and I inch ever closer to the door of freedom (which actually involves keeping our place and sending him packing), I remember something a woman must have told me as a child: "It is work."
That is my first real memory and I am wondering if I have recovered it because it is a message.
Recent events have had me wondering about my own family living in whatever village they live. With mudslides and hurricanes, they may be gone.
Many months ago, I pulled the atlas down from the book case. This was when I was a complete idiot and still believed that if Thomas Friedman said it, it must be true. So I wasted hours looking in vain for "Back Water Village."
Now that I know that was intended as an insult, I know little else and Thomas Friedman always tells me when I ask, "Betinna, you have blocked it all out for a reason. Listen to the great Thomas Friedman."
So when I heard a voice, I like to think it is my mother's, telling me: "It is work" . . . I took it as a sign. No other memories or sound bytes have surfaced thus far but I hold out hope.
And I have tried to follow the words of my mother. Friday, it took three hours, but I made it through Thomas Friedman's latest: "Keeping Us In The Race." I had a nasty bruise on my chin from hitting it three times on the kitchen table as I nodded off while Thomas Friedman molested the English language in a way far worse than I, "ESL Betinna" as Thomas Friedman calls me, ever could.
Having finished the column, I set about doing what Thomas Friedman wrote of, planning a lively dinner that would promote indepth, issue oriented conversation. Knowing that he will not listen to me, I made sure on Friday to invite lively people.
I invited Ty because he is funny and because Thomas Friedman is scared of black brothers so I thought that would help keep Thomas Friedman in line. If one brother, or "bra" as Thomas Friedman insisted upon calling Ty, could keep Thomas Friedman in line, surely two would be even better so I also invited Cedric. Cedric is tall and imposing and just moved into the building. To make sure Thomas Friedman would stay awake, I invited our neighbor Rebecca who usually pretends not to notice that Thomas Friedman drools over her breasts until, as she puts it, he gets too close with that breath more deadly than anthrax. To have someone newsy and well read, I invited dear Gail Collins because I know she spends most Friday nights at home watching America's Most Talented Kid. She claims she's just "really into" reality television but Elaine and I know she uses PAX TV to feel the empty void in her life.
She outed herself on our trip to DC when she wondered what it would be like "to be really glamorous and independent like that Sue Thomas, FB Eye." I invited the new neighbor from across the hall whom I don't know much about except his name is Seth and he's always carrying a book so I figured he must be smart. I figured right because he declined the invitation. I invited Jess because he's always so polite and nice to me and he's real easy on the eyes as well.
Mrs. K was desperate for an invite and dropped hints as the hours grew closer to the dinner party.
"Betinna," she sobbed, "I cannot take another Friday night of franks and beans and Nicky K."
I hear her. Believe me, I do. But since Thomas Friedman and Nicky K's last encounter ended with Thomas Friedman's hands wrapped tightly around Nicky's neck, I lied and said I had already dangerously exceeded the guest to chair ratio.
She was a good sport and pretended to understand but in the background I could hear Nicky K asking her to pull the TV dinner trays in front of the TV because he felt like watching The Sandlot during dinner one more time.
I was kind of surprised that a woman as smart as she is, married to a columnist for the New York Times, could spend so many empty nights and then I remembered my own sinking boat of a marriage.
At the deli I bumped into a playwright named Ron and thought "How New York!" and immediately invited him to the party on the spot.
I thought I had an interesting mix and was eager for the evening to begin. I had hand washed Thomas Friedman's silk shorty robe and thought not making an issue out of his wearing the robe would make the evening easier. Maybe people would find him avant garde?
He was in the kitchen rifling through the sacks of take out and wondering why we couldn't just have Ritz crackers and canned cheese?
"It's good enough for David E. Sanger and he hangs out at the White House," Thomas Friedman huffed.
I put on some Sade and the guests made small talk while Thomas Friedman kept following me around insisting that if I had to do take out, Mickey Dees has a perfectly suitable dinner menu.
Needing a break from his whining, I lied and said I didn't think Rebecca was wearing a bra tonight.
I didn't see him for a half hour which gave me just enough time to warm everything up and set it out. As I did, Gail Collins saddled up beside me and whispered that she thought Ron had "a Newland Archer quality." Having heard that he was single, I tried to suggest she go talk to him.
"Oh dare I?" she asked giddy with excitement. "Dare I, Betinna, dare I? Can you imagine the passion that could exist between us? The type of passion one only comes across in the novels of Edith Wharton."
"Uh-huh," I said counting the water glasses.
"He would be mad for me, mad, mad, mad. And I for him. And then we would steal away for a private moment."
Private moment?
Who knew Gail Collins had it in her?
I was all ears waiting for the naughty bits to begin.
"He would press his cheek to mine and I would press mine to his. Oh Betinna, the moment could be so magical. And then I would look at him with longing and regret as I declared that for us to stay together would kill what I loved in him most. Just like the Countess tells Archer."
"Damn it, Gail," I said frustrated since she long ago exceeded the sell-date on her own Age of Innocence, "you're not the lead in a period novel. You're a grown woman. You have urges."
Gail giggled nervously as a blush crossed her cheeks and she bowed her head.
Ignoring her, I announced dinner was ready and everyone took their assigned seats.
Right away, Cedric brought up an interesting topic, the committment we need to make to our communities, the need to engage on the most basic level.
Thomas Friedman, staring at Rebecca's chest, offered, "I engage on the most basic level."
Rolling her eyes, lighting up and reaching for the wine bottle, Rebecca attempted to ignore him.
"What I'm saying," Cedric continued, "is that we are our environment."
"Don't be bringing your revolutionary talk to my dinner table, Cedric X," Thomas Friedman snapped.
I tried to convey "Ignore him" with my eyes but I think Cedric was already two steps ahead of me.
"I'm saying that we don't just owe a societal debt, we have a societal investment."
"Watch out for that one," Thomas Friedman said to Ty, "he'll be looting before the night is over."
And that was it for Ty and Cedric who both rose from the table and walked out.
"Hey, who invited the PC police!" Thomas Friedman called out loudly, greatly amused with himself while I implored Jess, Rebecca and Ron to stay a bit more.
Gail Collins was too busy trying to strike coy and demure poses to register anything that was said.
Jess tried to save the evening by talking about the importance of arts.
"Arts, schmarts. Give me Baby Spice shaking it in a tight skirt and that's all the culture I need! You hear me, Rob?"
"Ron," I corrected.
"Hey, what was the deal with Ginger Spice? She was a chunky little plain thing. If I want to see that, I can pop over to Gail's office."
"Oh, Thomas," Gail Collins cooed.
"Ron's a playwright," I said attempting to steer the conversation to some of those higher topics Thomas Friedman spoke of in his column.
"The last good play was Hair," Thomas Friedman said opening another bottle of wine.
"You like musicals, do you?" asked Jess.
"I like boobs. Bouncing boobs. Big boobs. Naked boobs. Naked broads. That's theatre!"
"Oh my," Gail Collins said fanning herself furiously, "It's getting so racy. Betinna, is this a blue party?"
"Ron, what kind of plays do you write?" I asked still thinking I could create that magical, serious dinner discussion that Thomas Friedman had spoken of.
"Well --"
"You got naked broads in 'em?" Thomas Friedman asked drinking straight from the bottle. "Naked broads sell tickets."
"Actually, it's a political play," Ron explained.
"Boring. B-O boring," Thomas Friedman declared leaping to his feet and heading towards Rebecca. "You know what people like? Sexual choreography."
With that Thomas Friedman attempted to thrust his crotch in Rebecca's face repeatedly until she reached over, grabbed him by his testicles and offered, "Kimono boy, you can park it in your chair with everything intact or you can lose these mini-marshmallows right now."
Muttering under his breath, Thomas Friedman returned to his seat while Gail Collins leaned in close to Ron.
"The air is ripe with the the heat of passion. Will you join me on the balconey?" Gail asked Ron.
Before he could reply, Thomas Friedman hollered, "Balconey? It's a fire escape! Good God, Collins, it's like you have 40 Year Old Virgin carved in your frumpy forehead!"
Flushed with anger, Gail Collins nodded to me, "Betinna, I bid you good night."
Attempting to be a gentleman, Ron stood which Gail took to mean he wanted to leave with her.
Clutching him firmly, Gail Collins declared to the confused Ron, "You couldn't be happy if it meant being cruel. If we act any other way I'll be making you act against what I love in you most. And I can't go back to that way of thinking. Don't you see? I can't love you unless I give you up."
As she left sobbing, Ron declared, "She lost me at hello."
Thomas Friedman found that hilarious.
"Jerry MacGuire! Funny movie! With a subtext! Jerry represents Michael Jackson!"
Well it wasn't the pressing issue of how to fix the country or a discussion of the theater but maybe there was still hope for the evening?
"Know what was missing?" Thomas Friedman asked. "Sexy broads. You hear me, Roy?"
"Ron," I again corrected.
"Big boobed, sexy broads," Thomas Friedman said, ignoring me and punctuating his 'critique' with a belch.
"That Renee Zellwigger, she'd shrink the nads with her sour puss face," Thomas Friedman declared downing more wine. "Hollywood ain't go no hot broads? Is that it? All the fine pieces of tail are off making Girls Gone Wild videos? Pretty soon, they'll be left to cast Judy Miller! Anyone else notice that she dropped a ton in jail? Lost the double chins. Looks like she had work done but forgot to fix the boobs!"
Suddenly everyone broke into yawns and noted the late hour before leaving.
"Great dinner," Thomas Friedman declared, scratching his armpit with the neck of a wine bottle. "Great conversation. I could get a column out of tonight. We should do this more often."
And repeat the 20 most embarrassing minutes of my life?
As I cleaned up, Thomas Friedman began ticking off the subjects he felt we'd covered: Freedom of the press (his mention of Judith Miller), the dearth of solid entertainment (the lack of nude women on stage and "hot broads" in movies), Hurricane Katrina (his crack about looting) . . .
As I scraped the plates, I thought again of Mrs. K having to fake enthusiasm over seeing The Sandlot yet again. I thought about the dinner party. And it suddenly hit me that everyone who writes for the Times creates their own myths. It's not just Judy with her WMD coverage, it's everyone. In his columns, Nicky K strikes a brave stance despite being one of the biggest cry babies in the tri-state area. Todd S. Purdum pretends to be close to the action despite the fact that his odor results in everyone backing away, far away, from him. Dexter Filkins pretends that he's traveling up and down Iraq and seeing things with his own eyes.
These bores are the great fakes poisoning our discourse.
the new york times
thomas friedman
todd s. purdum
nicholas kristof
the common ills
seth in the city
sex and politics and screeds and attitude
like maria said paz
dexter filkins
why are we back in iraq
gail collins
the third estate sunday review
cedrics big mix
thomas friedman is a great man
Sunday, October 16, 2005
TV Review: CBS' Monday Night Line Up
The death of the sitcom? We've seen the headlines before. But CBS seems pretty keen to kill it.
You get that feeling watching Monday nights. No we're not referring to the dull attempts at "gross out" comedy provided by "I'm off the drugs!" & "I'm not gay!" We're not even ragging on King of Queens here. (Note to two friends, we watched Monday's show. Bryan Callen was wonderful. It was the best show the series has done; however, one guest spot does not save your show. There's a reason he worked so well. The fact that he did should have encouraged you to pull for him to be a regular or to create a regular character like Jared.)
No, we're talking about How I Met Your Mother and Out of Practice, two shows that should be a breeze to watch but aren't.
How I Met Your Mother. Have you ever gone to a friend's house for dinner and then they pull out photos, slides, reels or other stuff? Okay, fine, we'll look or watch. Could be fun to discuss, right? Wrong. There's no conversation, you're just getting, "Uh-huh, now watch this."
That's How I Met Your Mother. The show has many things going for it. Alyson Hannigan and Josh Radnor are sitcom naturals -- networks should take note. The writers actually manage to write some funny scenes. (Amazing in this day and age.) But to enjoy those aspects, you have to suffer.
Radnor plays Ted. Ted hangs with Hannigan and two other friends. He's single. But here's the "twist," he will get married. This show is about how he will meet his wife. Okay, we can accept that premise. It gives the writers something to work toward, no problem.
Here's where the problem is, we don't get to enjoy the show. Future "Ted" keeps interrupting. Sometimes it's with a voice over to tell us what we just saw or are about to see, other times he's lecturing his two kids (apparently he will have two kids) in the future. The scenes fall flat and remove you from the action. They add nothing, they take away so much.
Apparently, Monday night, they existed to give us the "latest" in yucks -- Ted's son keeps repeating that Dad got beat up by a girl! Oh, that's so funny. To someone. (Probably the same someone who thought Future Ted's voice should be voiced by Bob Saget.)
To us, we would have preferred to have stayed with that date and seen it or the after effects.
Instead, just as the scene starts flowing, Future Ted's doing a voice over.
It's as though we were saying, "Wow, what an amazing chalet. Tell us, did you --" and the response was, "No, no, no! We've got to get to the next slide!"
It's a chore to watch this show. That's too bad. Hannigan and Radnor should have future sitcom successes ahead of them. (Hannigan proved her abilities in Buffy and the American Pie film series.) Two supporting players don't really register except as weak copies of Coupling (the British version, not NBC's). Someone who should have no future ahead of him is Neil Patrick Harris.
We missed the whole Doogie Houser "phenomonon." We're told it was quite popular for a second rated show, second rated for most of its life. We know Harris in the flesh but have fortunately been spared onscreen Harris until he popped up on Will & Grace. Here he does exactly what he did on Will & Grace . . . only louder. Watching him, you find yourself backing away from the TV and feeling as though you'd been seated at a table close to the stage for a really bad dinner theater revival of Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolf?
The show borrows a lot from a lot of places. Coupling, to be sure. But also Neil LaBute's Your Friends & Neighbors. Harris is trying to play the sleeze that Jason Patric did in that film. He's got the sleeze down, he just lacks a smolder. Without the sexual quality, you're left with a wet blanket geek carrying on about breasts and porn starts as you slowly realize that someone told Harris he was attractive. He has a face of many angles (the pointy chin, the sloped forehead, the nose) -- all of them wrong. But people who don't look like models can be sexy. They can tap into a quality. That quality eludes Harris repeatedly. He's as convincing in this role as Peter Bonerz would be as the lead in American Gigolo.
So you're left rolling your eyes as the guy who can't score even at "Last call!" acts as though he's getting some. The shouting ("This friendship is over!" or some such nonsense) would send the few who could ignore his actual looks running. Want to clear a room fast? Present Harris as sexy.
How I Met Your Mother is a perfect example of all that's wrong with sitcoms. Bad casting, bad concept and never letting the audience enjoy the moment. But watch for Hannigan and Radnor in other things. Both should have long careers. (Radnor needs to make sure he doesn't become addicted to his own "cuteness." That can kill a career -- check out Scrubs.)
While the writers at How I Met Your Mother can write scenes that are funny (provided you ignore the voice overs -- ignore them, you won't miss anything), Out of Practice is another story. The writing is hideous. The cast is incredible.
Stockard Channing can deliver a weak line and make it funny. As she demonstrated in First Wives' Club, she's not dependent upon what's on the written page. Already she's defined her character (while the writers continue to flail around). Henry Winkler is also amazing.
Now if you've watched the show, you may be screaming, "Ava and C.I., you two are insane!"
Read the scripts (we have). Winkler's got writers who don't know what they're writing. Some scripts he's supposed to be Fraiser Crane, some he's supposed to be Ray Barone. Never do you get the impression that the writers know what Winkler can do. Read a script and then watch the same episode and you'll realize how hard Winkler's working.
Paula Marshall and Ty Burrell largely ignore the text. That's working for them. They're adding physical bits that provide laughs. But they can only do that for so long. At some point, there has to be more to the characters than their movements. If the writers worked as hard (or were even half as inventive) as Marshall and Burrell, this would be the comedy everyone watches.
How do you get really bad writers at this show? CBS played it safe. They went with "proven." They never stopped to think that Fraiser, for instance, and Out of Practice have nothing in common. They never stopped to realize that Marshall and Burrell aren't playing Roz and Bull.
Out of Practice revolves around one family. The parents (Channing and Winkler) have split up. The youngest son has just gotten a divorce. Marshall and Burrell have no significant others. So this is a "get back into life" show. Considering that Fraiser dealt with that (for one episode -- usually an hour long one) every few years and not every episode, we're not seeing how Fraiser writers are fit for this show. Considering that Everybody Loves Raymond had nothing similar, we're lost there too. But both were hits and CBS thinks the writers can write anything. They can't.
The youngest son is played by Christopher Gorham who set a few hearts a flutter as the lead in the Six Million Dollar Man retread Jake 2.0. Gorham is attractive. But after casting him, no one seems to know what to do with him. Possibly, he's to be the cruise director of the show. "Crazies on the lido deck to your right. More yucks on the lower promenade." But the writers don't give him that, they don't give him anything.
As a young man recently divorced in a show called Out of Practice, he should have some storyline. This isn't trying to be a "family show" the way CBS thinks How I Met Your Mother is. (Note to CBS, talk of "nipples," dating porn stars, women spanking themselves, don't usually provide fodder for the family unless the target family audience is the Osbornes.) Gorham's not posing. He's acting and he's actually managed to create (with no help from the writers) a full blown character. If the writers could provide him with something to actually do (a storyline that doesn't provoke the light chuckles Fraiser tended to inspire), this show could be everything it should be.
With one show, How I Met Your Mother, CBS took a "premise" to be a show. The concept needs to be dropped. The writers of that show demonstrate enough talent that they might be able to write a laugh out loud episode if they weren't saddled with the "concept." With Out of Practice, the concept should have been riffed on but you've got bad writers. CBS is airing two hours of sitcoms on Monday and can't provide viewers with one solid show.
That's too bad because How I Met Your Mother and Out of Practice are "fixable." You'd have to get rid of Bob Saget and trust the viewers to laugh at what's happening onscreen, but the scenes are funny without the voice overs. Eliminating the voice overs and the opening and closing shots of the future children might offend the "creators" but if they're married to those two concepts that are destroying the show, the show's never going to work. The "concept" of The Wonder Years sexed up belongs on the second tier networks they hail from.
With Out of Practice, there is a show. No one needs to be fired from the cast. And no major changes need to happen to the characters (which the actors have created and developed without any help from the writers). The show just needs better writers. When hiring, here's a hint, if the writer's claim to understanding female characters rests on Marie Barone, don't hire them. Stockard Channing isn't Doris Roberts. Here's another tip, if "whimsy" is what the writer's known for, wish them good luck with their novel and move on quickly to the next interview. CBS has two very physical comedians in Ty Burrell and Paula Marshall. Whimsy doesn't serve them.
You get that feeling watching Monday nights. No we're not referring to the dull attempts at "gross out" comedy provided by "I'm off the drugs!" & "I'm not gay!" We're not even ragging on King of Queens here. (Note to two friends, we watched Monday's show. Bryan Callen was wonderful. It was the best show the series has done; however, one guest spot does not save your show. There's a reason he worked so well. The fact that he did should have encouraged you to pull for him to be a regular or to create a regular character like Jared.)
No, we're talking about How I Met Your Mother and Out of Practice, two shows that should be a breeze to watch but aren't.
How I Met Your Mother. Have you ever gone to a friend's house for dinner and then they pull out photos, slides, reels or other stuff? Okay, fine, we'll look or watch. Could be fun to discuss, right? Wrong. There's no conversation, you're just getting, "Uh-huh, now watch this."
That's How I Met Your Mother. The show has many things going for it. Alyson Hannigan and Josh Radnor are sitcom naturals -- networks should take note. The writers actually manage to write some funny scenes. (Amazing in this day and age.) But to enjoy those aspects, you have to suffer.
Radnor plays Ted. Ted hangs with Hannigan and two other friends. He's single. But here's the "twist," he will get married. This show is about how he will meet his wife. Okay, we can accept that premise. It gives the writers something to work toward, no problem.
Here's where the problem is, we don't get to enjoy the show. Future "Ted" keeps interrupting. Sometimes it's with a voice over to tell us what we just saw or are about to see, other times he's lecturing his two kids (apparently he will have two kids) in the future. The scenes fall flat and remove you from the action. They add nothing, they take away so much.
Apparently, Monday night, they existed to give us the "latest" in yucks -- Ted's son keeps repeating that Dad got beat up by a girl! Oh, that's so funny. To someone. (Probably the same someone who thought Future Ted's voice should be voiced by Bob Saget.)
To us, we would have preferred to have stayed with that date and seen it or the after effects.
Instead, just as the scene starts flowing, Future Ted's doing a voice over.
It's as though we were saying, "Wow, what an amazing chalet. Tell us, did you --" and the response was, "No, no, no! We've got to get to the next slide!"
It's a chore to watch this show. That's too bad. Hannigan and Radnor should have future sitcom successes ahead of them. (Hannigan proved her abilities in Buffy and the American Pie film series.) Two supporting players don't really register except as weak copies of Coupling (the British version, not NBC's). Someone who should have no future ahead of him is Neil Patrick Harris.
We missed the whole Doogie Houser "phenomonon." We're told it was quite popular for a second rated show, second rated for most of its life. We know Harris in the flesh but have fortunately been spared onscreen Harris until he popped up on Will & Grace. Here he does exactly what he did on Will & Grace . . . only louder. Watching him, you find yourself backing away from the TV and feeling as though you'd been seated at a table close to the stage for a really bad dinner theater revival of Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolf?
The show borrows a lot from a lot of places. Coupling, to be sure. But also Neil LaBute's Your Friends & Neighbors. Harris is trying to play the sleeze that Jason Patric did in that film. He's got the sleeze down, he just lacks a smolder. Without the sexual quality, you're left with a wet blanket geek carrying on about breasts and porn starts as you slowly realize that someone told Harris he was attractive. He has a face of many angles (the pointy chin, the sloped forehead, the nose) -- all of them wrong. But people who don't look like models can be sexy. They can tap into a quality. That quality eludes Harris repeatedly. He's as convincing in this role as Peter Bonerz would be as the lead in American Gigolo.
So you're left rolling your eyes as the guy who can't score even at "Last call!" acts as though he's getting some. The shouting ("This friendship is over!" or some such nonsense) would send the few who could ignore his actual looks running. Want to clear a room fast? Present Harris as sexy.
How I Met Your Mother is a perfect example of all that's wrong with sitcoms. Bad casting, bad concept and never letting the audience enjoy the moment. But watch for Hannigan and Radnor in other things. Both should have long careers. (Radnor needs to make sure he doesn't become addicted to his own "cuteness." That can kill a career -- check out Scrubs.)
While the writers at How I Met Your Mother can write scenes that are funny (provided you ignore the voice overs -- ignore them, you won't miss anything), Out of Practice is another story. The writing is hideous. The cast is incredible.
Stockard Channing can deliver a weak line and make it funny. As she demonstrated in First Wives' Club, she's not dependent upon what's on the written page. Already she's defined her character (while the writers continue to flail around). Henry Winkler is also amazing.
Now if you've watched the show, you may be screaming, "Ava and C.I., you two are insane!"
Read the scripts (we have). Winkler's got writers who don't know what they're writing. Some scripts he's supposed to be Fraiser Crane, some he's supposed to be Ray Barone. Never do you get the impression that the writers know what Winkler can do. Read a script and then watch the same episode and you'll realize how hard Winkler's working.
Paula Marshall and Ty Burrell largely ignore the text. That's working for them. They're adding physical bits that provide laughs. But they can only do that for so long. At some point, there has to be more to the characters than their movements. If the writers worked as hard (or were even half as inventive) as Marshall and Burrell, this would be the comedy everyone watches.
How do you get really bad writers at this show? CBS played it safe. They went with "proven." They never stopped to think that Fraiser, for instance, and Out of Practice have nothing in common. They never stopped to realize that Marshall and Burrell aren't playing Roz and Bull.
Out of Practice revolves around one family. The parents (Channing and Winkler) have split up. The youngest son has just gotten a divorce. Marshall and Burrell have no significant others. So this is a "get back into life" show. Considering that Fraiser dealt with that (for one episode -- usually an hour long one) every few years and not every episode, we're not seeing how Fraiser writers are fit for this show. Considering that Everybody Loves Raymond had nothing similar, we're lost there too. But both were hits and CBS thinks the writers can write anything. They can't.
The youngest son is played by Christopher Gorham who set a few hearts a flutter as the lead in the Six Million Dollar Man retread Jake 2.0. Gorham is attractive. But after casting him, no one seems to know what to do with him. Possibly, he's to be the cruise director of the show. "Crazies on the lido deck to your right. More yucks on the lower promenade." But the writers don't give him that, they don't give him anything.
As a young man recently divorced in a show called Out of Practice, he should have some storyline. This isn't trying to be a "family show" the way CBS thinks How I Met Your Mother is. (Note to CBS, talk of "nipples," dating porn stars, women spanking themselves, don't usually provide fodder for the family unless the target family audience is the Osbornes.) Gorham's not posing. He's acting and he's actually managed to create (with no help from the writers) a full blown character. If the writers could provide him with something to actually do (a storyline that doesn't provoke the light chuckles Fraiser tended to inspire), this show could be everything it should be.
With one show, How I Met Your Mother, CBS took a "premise" to be a show. The concept needs to be dropped. The writers of that show demonstrate enough talent that they might be able to write a laugh out loud episode if they weren't saddled with the "concept." With Out of Practice, the concept should have been riffed on but you've got bad writers. CBS is airing two hours of sitcoms on Monday and can't provide viewers with one solid show.
That's too bad because How I Met Your Mother and Out of Practice are "fixable." You'd have to get rid of Bob Saget and trust the viewers to laugh at what's happening onscreen, but the scenes are funny without the voice overs. Eliminating the voice overs and the opening and closing shots of the future children might offend the "creators" but if they're married to those two concepts that are destroying the show, the show's never going to work. The "concept" of The Wonder Years sexed up belongs on the second tier networks they hail from.
With Out of Practice, there is a show. No one needs to be fired from the cast. And no major changes need to happen to the characters (which the actors have created and developed without any help from the writers). The show just needs better writers. When hiring, here's a hint, if the writer's claim to understanding female characters rests on Marie Barone, don't hire them. Stockard Channing isn't Doris Roberts. Here's another tip, if "whimsy" is what the writer's known for, wish them good luck with their novel and move on quickly to the next interview. CBS has two very physical comedians in Ty Burrell and Paula Marshall. Whimsy doesn't serve them.
CDs: Dolly Parton and the Cowboy Junkies
We'd already intended to note Dolly Parton's Those Were The Days after noting last week that the promotional single for it qualified as the worst single of the year. Then Kat filled in for C.I. at The Common Ills and noted that The Laura Flanders Show would have the Cowboy Junkies on Saturday night to discuss their new anti-war CD Early 21st Century Blues. So we figured we'd take a crack at both of them. We includes Jim, Dona, Ty, Jess and Ava of The Third Estate Sunday Review, Elaine of Like Maria Said Paz, Cedric of Cedric's Big Mix, Rebecca of Sex and Politics and Screeds and Attitude, Betty of Thomas Friedman is a Great Man, Kat of Kat's Korner (of The Common Ills), Mike of Mikey Likes It!, and C.I. of both The Common Ills and The Third Estate Sunday Review as well as, for the first time helping us out, Wally of the brand new The Daily Jot. We're not doing this in transcript form. The reason being that this took place in two discussions. Cedric and Betty participated in the first but had to bail to get sleep before heading to church and Wally joined for the second.
We'll start off with Parton. We said last week that we expected to enjoy the album (despite dubbing the CD single the worst of the year) and our hunch was right. Kat noted that Parton appeared to be framing the album as a flashback by opening with "Those Were The Days." The standout tracks for us were many. "Both Sides Now" is done much faster than most are prepared for but C.I. noted that on the first "that I recall" Parton's one of the few performers who's done the song since Judy Collins and Joni Mitchell (Mitchell wrote it, Collins had the hit with it) that gets the notes right on that phrase. Joining Parton on this song is, in fact, Judy Collins. (Along with Rhonda Vincent.) Betty noted "Imagine" and how much she enjoyed the call and response in the last third of the song. With that song, along with the rest, Parton puts her own individual stamp on the recordings. This isn't a carbon copy, watered down imitation.
This is Parton taking songs that are famous (many that are in the popular music canon) and making them her own. "Me and Bobby McGee" (sung with writer Kris Kristofferson) is a perfect example. Parton's not trying to be Janis Joplin, she's trying to find her own way into the song and succeeds wonderfully. This may be one of the standout tracks for Parton fans because she (and the muscians) get to cut loose on this song. "Crimson & Clover" is another song that will please due to the high energy.
Part of the reason she succeeds in these cover versions is because she's not trying to imitate the original recordings. Instead, she's giving them the blue grass treatment. Others may be familiar with that sort of treatment of the twelve songs on this album. We weren't and we found it revolutionary. Another reason she succeeds is because Parton knows how to sing. She knows when to get soft, she knows when to get loud, she knows when to tweak a line with good humor and when to shade it. She's one of the best singers because she serves the song.
As a much covered songwriter herself, she's no doubt heard her own songs damaged by others. That may account for why she's always working to find what the song is saying and what makes it special as opposed to bowling you over with her high notes or how long she can hold a note. Or maybe it's because, as she notes in linear notes, it's because these songs are songs she's enjoyed for a long time and ones that have touched her.
Regardless of why, she does a beautiful job of recasting the songs and bringing to them new insight. Last Sunday, Kat told us that she bet Dolly would sing "harmonica" and not "harp" in her cover of "Me and Bobby McGee" and Dolly does use "harmonica." Kat's reason for guessing that was that Dolly Parton wants to communicate and move people. Kat was right about harmonica and listening to the CD we'd say she was right about Parton wanting to communicate and move. There are no bad cuts here. There's no reason to grab the remote and skip a track or to program the player to avoid one. This is an artist at work, moving you with her gift and commenting not just on songs that moved her but on the world we're living in. With Christmas just around the corner, we'd suggest you buy yourself a copy and listen to see if it doesn't make for a strong gift.
The Cowboy Junkies? Betty and Cedric both complained about their version of "I Don't Want To Be A Solider" by John Lennon. Betty's not a big fan of rap, Cedric is. But both felt Rebel's rap hurt the song more than it helped it. The song has a quiet hypnotic feel as done by the Junkies then Rebel stomps in. Cedric questioned why, after countless bedroom whisper raps by L.L. Cool Jay, Rebel didn't choose a similar approach? The song's a strange mix and some will enjoy it, other's won't.
That's the only complaint that we had regarding the album. When Wally joined us, he'd just finished listening to the CD. He enjoyed "I Don't Want To Be A Solider" but hadn't heard Betty & Cedric's criticsm. Having heard it, he said he could see their point but that the track remains one of his favorites and that he feels Rebel's rap adds to the album.
If you ever enjoyed the Cowboy Junkies, this is the album to get. Kicking off with Dylan's "License To Kill," the Junkies find the groove and don't let go. The rich textures of their strongest tracks are evident throughout the entire album. Rebecca says if there was a Rock 'n Roll Church to go with the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame, the Cowboy Junkies would perform early morning services with this lineup. When Kat sent out the cry for everyone to try to grab up a copy of this CD (sent out the cry Saturday afternoon) there were some grumblings. Elaine felt that she'd been burned by the Junkies in the past with albums that featured four or five key songs and then seemed to run out of steam. Early 21st Century Blues won her over and she feels it's like sitting at a table up front in a small club while the Junkies are on fire and hitting all the right notes.
Jess noted the guitar work (Michael Timmins) on "Two Soldiers" as a stand out with "You're Missing" as a close runner up. Bruce Springsteen fan Mike felt that the Junkies actually improved on Springsteen's version of "You're Missing." One thing that stood out to him was the conversational style of Margo Timmins singing. On The Laura Flanders Show Saturday night, Margo Timmins spoke of the shock it must be getting the news that someone you loved had just died in Iraq and how, if it were, she might be thinking that morning before the news came in, how he always left his shoes lying in the hall. Her singing on this song perfectly captures the quiet moments that emerge in the face of shocking news.
Dona and Ava, who've been on their own music education experience for about a year now, were especially impressed with the cover of Richie Havens "Handouts In The Rain." They feel that it's rare someone manages to match the ache in one of Havens' mournful vocals but that it's done here. We all agreed that at a time when Bono seems determined to write off U2 and music, the Cowboy Junkies bring new life to "One." It provides the perfect note for the CD to go out on.
The Cowboy Junkies would prefer that if you order online, you order the album through their website. (You can also purchase Dolly Parton's Those Were The Days online at Sugar Hill Records.) Possibly, like us, you'll prefer to rush out and get them both.
We think that they make a great companion set. We also are glad to see artists who are willing to do more than go around blathering about the fun in washing out Lance Armstrong's dirty briefs while offering banal crap like "Where Has All The Love Gone" (the ", man" -- as C.I. noted -- is implied). These are strong statements from artists who are trying to create something a little deeper than "Good Is Good" ("and bad is bad"). As this country approaches the third year anniversary of the invasion in March, we're still amazed by how so few "artists" seem to have been effected in any way, shape or form. (Maybe they're trying, like Carole King with the altering of the lyrics to "Sweet Seasons," not to offend the politicians?)
Art is supposed to reflect life, it's supposed to comment on the world around us. So it's more than surprising to us that so few have cared to even dip a toe in the water of current events. Lot of Petulia Clarks cautioning "Don't Sleep In The Subway" but not a lot of people asking "What's Going On?" One song is enjoyable kitsch while the other is art. History and legacies aren't made, people aren't remembered, by standing quietly on the sidelines. That's a lesson that's lost on too many of "artists" today. Fortunately, Dolly Parton and the Cowboy Junkies aren't afraid to weigh in.
Both do it via albums of covers (Michael Timmins wrote "December Skies" and "This World Dreams Of" on Early 21st Century Blues, the other nine tracks are covers). If someone feels they can't write something strong (the Rolling Stones wrote two strongs commenting on the occupation on A Bigger Bang), than they shouldn't. But instead of putting the listener to sleep with bad rhymes and really obvious imagery ("rolling thunder"), they can find a song written by someone else. The Junkies and Parton are weighing in on the world around them. That alone should peek your interest. The fact that these are also two solid CDs should make you think about purchasing them.
dolly parton
cowboy junkies
early 21st century blues
those were the days
the rolling stones
a bigger bang
carole king
sheryl crow
the third estate sunday review
like maria said paz
cedrics big mix
mikey likes it
sex and politics and screeds and attitude
thomas friedman is a great man
kats korner
the daily jot
the common ills
The barber has been captured! Rest easy, America!
Elaine and Isaiah spoke about the latest capture on the phone Saturday night. We like both their takes on it.
At the top of this post is Isaiah's The World Today Just Nuts take on it. Here's Elaine's take (from the news review):
But good news for Bully Boy. They've yet to capture Osama bin Laden, some five years later, but when he faces the cameras next, he can trumpet the fact that they have allegedly caught the barber of Al Qaeda. Sleep easy, America, terrorists remain at large, but we've nailed the coiffeur! No one's on the run but senior al Qaeda militants will be looking pretty ragged.
al qaeda
the world today just nuts
barber captured
like maria said paz
the common ills
Note from Jim, Dona, Jess, Ava and Ty
We don't think it's a coincidence. We don't think it's a coincidence that C.I. says on Saturday morning to think about January 2004, wait, let's go to that entry:
On Plamegate, to make up for these morning entries, I'll note this question needs to be asked: Where did Miller find the notes re: earlier conversation with Scoots? January 2004 may hold part of the answer. (It's a puzzle, like a jumble. Put on your thinking caps.)
C.I. heard rumors about that awhile back and had shared them with Ava who'd passed them on to Dona who passed them on to Jim. Then on Friday morning, C.I. heard more rumors including that the report on Miller (as opposed to the one she wrote) might address the issue of the notes.
We knew about it, Jim, Dona and Ava.
We think it's interesting that someone who's never thought to explore the emergence of new notes suddenly (later that day, much later) has an article that suddenly is interested in those notes. C.I. says it could be synchronicity. C.I. says maybe some people at The Times spoke to ____.
Maybe. But this makes for the third time ____ has suddenly "found" a lead after it's gone up at The Common Ills.
We think that's defying the odds. Especially since _____ hasn't had the leads that C.I. has had.
C.I.'s coverage of the Miller matter at The Times is echoed in the paper today. If you followed The Common Ills you really had no surprises. In the entry Rebecca did (based on and credited to a conversation she had with C.I.) about how the paper could argue for Miller, it was even noted that Abramson might not want to be a part of the fight for Miller. It's no surprise to community members that Abramson publicly states she wishes the whole thing had never happened.
While ____ tried to figure out The Times strategy, it was up there at The Common Ills. Remedial posts when people would write, "She had the release!" So our point is that ____ doesn't seem to have a strong line to the paper.
How strong was C.I.'s? Remember when Scoots was named by Miller? Check out Ava's post at The Common Ills that day where she links to Rudith Miller (the day the press was reporting on Scoots being the source). Why? Well who's named as a Miller source (the only one named) in that Judith Miller parody? Scoots.
That's what Ty's referring to in the news review when he says, "I just got that." to C.I.'s comments about "to slam and slam freely." That's the section right before Scoots gets mentioned. (Rudith Miller was written on Januaray 9, 2004.) Again, ___'s information line to the paper appears nowhere as strong as C.I.'s so forgive us for being skeptical when suddenly ____ is all over where-did-the-notes-come-from! hours after C.I. has already posted on it.
____ is a jerk prone to fighting with others. If ___ wants to identify their own self by e-mailing us we'll print the e-mail. (Or the parts of it we find most humorous.)
Otherwise ___ gets no mention here or at any other community site. We were all in agreement on that. We believe ____ took from The Common Ills without giving credit. Not one, not twice, but three times that we know of. We're not going to help advance ____'s name.
_____ could uncover proof that Bully Boy was an alien and we wouldn't link to or mention ____.
We will, however, offer ____ a tip now that the Miller story may be reaching a climax. Ava and C.I. know all about the high profile firing that no one wants to talk about but prefers to act as if it was work related when in fact it was the by product of "a lost weekend." C.I. toyed with writing about that but in the end decided not to. Ava and C.I. addressed it here in roundtables but would both pull it before posting. (Over Jim's strenuous objections.) But if ____ needs a scoop ____ can look into the real reason for the firing, as opposed to the press reason, and ____ can start by speaking to guests and employees of the hotel the fired stayed at the weekend of the big no-no.
-- Jim, Dona, Jess, Ava and Ty
On Plamegate, to make up for these morning entries, I'll note this question needs to be asked: Where did Miller find the notes re: earlier conversation with Scoots? January 2004 may hold part of the answer. (It's a puzzle, like a jumble. Put on your thinking caps.)
C.I. heard rumors about that awhile back and had shared them with Ava who'd passed them on to Dona who passed them on to Jim. Then on Friday morning, C.I. heard more rumors including that the report on Miller (as opposed to the one she wrote) might address the issue of the notes.
We knew about it, Jim, Dona and Ava.
We think it's interesting that someone who's never thought to explore the emergence of new notes suddenly (later that day, much later) has an article that suddenly is interested in those notes. C.I. says it could be synchronicity. C.I. says maybe some people at The Times spoke to ____.
Maybe. But this makes for the third time ____ has suddenly "found" a lead after it's gone up at The Common Ills.
We think that's defying the odds. Especially since _____ hasn't had the leads that C.I. has had.
C.I.'s coverage of the Miller matter at The Times is echoed in the paper today. If you followed The Common Ills you really had no surprises. In the entry Rebecca did (based on and credited to a conversation she had with C.I.) about how the paper could argue for Miller, it was even noted that Abramson might not want to be a part of the fight for Miller. It's no surprise to community members that Abramson publicly states she wishes the whole thing had never happened.
While ____ tried to figure out The Times strategy, it was up there at The Common Ills. Remedial posts when people would write, "She had the release!" So our point is that ____ doesn't seem to have a strong line to the paper.
How strong was C.I.'s? Remember when Scoots was named by Miller? Check out Ava's post at The Common Ills that day where she links to Rudith Miller (the day the press was reporting on Scoots being the source). Why? Well who's named as a Miller source (the only one named) in that Judith Miller parody? Scoots.
That's what Ty's referring to in the news review when he says, "I just got that." to C.I.'s comments about "to slam and slam freely." That's the section right before Scoots gets mentioned. (Rudith Miller was written on Januaray 9, 2004.) Again, ___'s information line to the paper appears nowhere as strong as C.I.'s so forgive us for being skeptical when suddenly ____ is all over where-did-the-notes-come-from! hours after C.I. has already posted on it.
____ is a jerk prone to fighting with others. If ___ wants to identify their own self by e-mailing us we'll print the e-mail. (Or the parts of it we find most humorous.)
Otherwise ___ gets no mention here or at any other community site. We were all in agreement on that. We believe ____ took from The Common Ills without giving credit. Not one, not twice, but three times that we know of. We're not going to help advance ____'s name.
_____ could uncover proof that Bully Boy was an alien and we wouldn't link to or mention ____.
We will, however, offer ____ a tip now that the Miller story may be reaching a climax. Ava and C.I. know all about the high profile firing that no one wants to talk about but prefers to act as if it was work related when in fact it was the by product of "a lost weekend." C.I. toyed with writing about that but in the end decided not to. Ava and C.I. addressed it here in roundtables but would both pull it before posting. (Over Jim's strenuous objections.) But if ____ needs a scoop ____ can look into the real reason for the firing, as opposed to the press reason, and ____ can start by speaking to guests and employees of the hotel the fired stayed at the weekend of the big no-no.
-- Jim, Dona, Jess, Ava and Ty
The Third Estate Sunday Review News Review 10-16-05
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