Specifically to the "Song Of The Day" feature and specifically to the four installments done by Maura Johnston and Jay Smooth. Johnston's an overly praised, underinformed writer who infamously parted from Idolator in 2009 and the whining from her friends insisted that the website was replacing her with 'mindless blather.' Possibly that explained the Maura Makeover?
Very few women get to take part in "Song Of The Day." For example, you're far more likely to hear Chris Porter offering his thoughts on LoneLady than to hear a woman weighing in. Which is why we desperately wanted Maura Johnston to be worth listening to.
But she wasn't. As one friend, NYC music critic for print, put it, "It's as if she's putting her breasts up against [Jay] Smooth's back and purring." It was actually worse than that as she played Valley Girl ("Totally!") and cheerleader whenever Smooth came up for air mid-pontification.
Smooth was a problem himself. Forget that he's too old to be the average hip-hop listener's older brother and will, in a few short years, be old enough to be their grandfather, the overly praised mental midget is not adept at music criticism. At one point, in the midst of a long ramble, he mentioned Sex In The City and you might have thought that he'd made, for him, a 'historical' reference. But then you quickly remembered the film was coming out and he most likely thought of it for that reason. Point, you can't do music criticism if you don't know music history. You can hype, you can gossip column, but you can't critique. Smooth poured out a deluge of words but he never said anything and he never convinced you that he knew anything.
Still there was Maura giggling and encouraging him and sounding like a living and breathing "blonde joke" (no, she doesn't look like one).
It was embarrassing and the uninformed blather they offered was never even on a 50/50 basis as Smooth repeatedly over talked (and talked over) her.
How bad were the 'conversations'? Here's a fairly typical user comment left at NPR on the 'critiques' Maura and Jay offered: "That's a very restrained or uninspired analysis. Perhaps this is a dull progression or a compromise or.... what not much direct comment about the song more generalizations for a wider audience, which though useful for people who would usually dismiss any rap/hip hop/etc music should go on to say something penetrative. 50,000 pundits could have made these surface observation".
How bad were the 'conversations'? NPR won't publish the bulk of them. But if, out of some masochistic desire, you need to hear the two weigh in on Usher, Eminem, Justin Bieber and Nicki Minaj, click on the links.
For those who can't stream or whom streaming audio will not help, NPR has made the ''critique' of Usher's "OMG" available in transcript form and here's a typical exchange:
Mr. SMOOTH: Right. So why do you think Usher is going this route?
Ms. JOHNSTON: Usher, you know, he's trying to make a comeback. His last record was sort of a flop, and it's basically a way to sort of capitalize on the Black Eyed Peas' success last year. The Black Eyed Peas had the number one song in the country for 26 weeks of calendar year 2009.
Mr. SMOOTH: Right. It reminds me of the movie "Pulp Fiction," where the guys are really in trouble and they go call in the cleaner.
(Soundbite of laughter)
Mr. SMOOTH: And it seems like will.i.am is the cleaner of pop hits.
Ms. JOHNSTON: Yeah.
Mr. SMOOTH: You call him in, and no matter what's going on, he'll have the perfect formula. He's like an evil scientist...
Ms. JOHNSTON: He really is.
Mr. SMOOTH: ...of session pop music. And even just the title of the song, when I saw it was "OMG," I assumed that meant oh, my God. But only will.i.am would think to change that to oh, my gosh - just to make sure you don't alienate the two percent that might be put off by actually saying oh, my God.
"Yeah." "He really is." "I had never thought of that." Those are the 'critical' observations (cheer leading of Smooth) that Johnston contributes. And you can notice how little she contributes overall -- even in total time spent. Jay Smooth gets 295 words and Maura Johnston gets 157. Possibly if giggling counted as words, Johnston would have come out ahead.
But the listener never does and it was amazing to read the praise of Alicia Shepherd's weak-ass critique of NPR (Shepherd is NPR's ombudsperson) and know that she was specifically referred to Morning Edition's "Song Of The Day" feature but chose to ignore it.
