NBC aired two consecutive nights of propaganda last week and MSNBC graduate Brian Williams hosted. Though the network dubbed it Inside The Obama White House (DVD copies to be on sale, no doubt, Monday at 7-11s and Starbucks across the nation) we thought it should have stolen the title of Jean Fritz's The Good Giants and The Bad Pukwudgies.
We felt that way for numerous reasons including that the 'news' team produced a fable and, yes, a fairy tale. To watch it for news was to be grossly disappointed. As a humor special and/or an attempt at sociological study, it had a great deal to offer.
It was so bad that even Jon Stewart had to mock the special. Mock the special, you understand, not Barack. Stewart's still too much of a scared bunny to peal off a few jokes at Barack. That would, after all, be comedy and Comedy Central hasn't offered comedy in some time. But Jon did take pot shots at how Brian Williams repeatedly plugged NBC programming and then noted that it appeared Brian "has the hots" for Barack. It was about as hard hitting as anything Mark Russell could deliver.
We waited for someone -- anyone -- to call out NBC and Brian Williams' non-stop efforts to demonize Hillary Clinton. We waited in vain. On the second night of the broadcast, the Secretary of State was shown in the Oval Office. She was speaking casually and looking around. The desk had a report in a red cover with a notation across the front that it was for the president's eyes only. NBC deliberately edited the footage to make it appear as if Hillary was desperate to read the report. They also included Williams in a sad voice noting that she had thought, a year ago, she might be president. The segment immediately following was about Vice President Joe Biden. NBC forgot to note that Biden also wanted to be president. In fact, he's tried to be president several times now. But Hillary was sad and pathetic, according to the NBC special.
What NBC News WHORES failed to air was their request to Hillary, as she breezed through the Oval Office, if she could come over to the desk and give them a few minutes of footage to help them out, TO HELP THEM OUT? Hillary agreed to do that and didn't think anything of it. She had no idea that a news team was going to get 'creative' or that they were setting her up to make her look bad. She stood where she was asked to stand by NBC and gave them the footage she thought they needed. She was instructed to stand in front of that desk and make small talk and when you see her looking off she's looking over at the film crew for the sign from them that they've gotten enough footage.
What she didn't grasp was that, in NBC's eyes, all men are groovy and cool but only some women can be. And they couldn't build up Michelle Obama, First Lady, without tearing down a woman. Hillary got tossed on the fire.
And they needed to do that really. If you cover Michelle, just Michelle, you have to deal with a lot of unpleasant realities.
For instance, Bri-Bri was going goo-goo gah-gah about Michelle's magazine covers. What he failed to tell viewers is Michelle doesn't move magazines. (Nor does Barry anymore.) That's why each magazine tries a make over, convinced that with the right look, Michelle can be a cover girl.
It never happens and there's a lot of pathetic about a grown woman, over forty, trying to be a "cover girl."
To provide the reality that the media won't, let's be really clear about why Michelle can never be a fashion plate.
In nasty moods, Barack has been known to hiss "titless" at her. There's a reason for that which goes far beyond the fact that Barack's no saint. It is, after all, true that Michelle is the most flat chested woman to be First Lady in recent memory. (And if we had the time we'd go into what Barack says about Michelle's "patches" -- her elbows and how far the skin on them can stretch out -- we're talking almost six inches.)
Michelle lumbering around the White House for the cameras was frequently caught from the side and that gut sticking out only appeared bigger as you noticed that the gut sticks out further than the breasts do. Lumbering?
That's the other reason Michelle's never going to be a fashion plate. She walks like a truck driver and forever stands with legs splayed. She also has a very annoying habit of picking at her ass on camera.
In the hall with the dog, Bo, Brian and Michelle encounter Barack. While he and Brian make small talk, Michelle uses it as a cue to yet again dig at her ass. For the record, not a classy move.
But there's nothing classy about Michelle and the only thing she's truly accomplished is making us appreciate Laura Bush -- and who knew that was possible? But Laura, even when styled and dolled up, never gave the impression that she thought she was a big deal and efforts to portray her as such were usually called out.
No one calls out the nonsense of fashion plate and cover girl Michelle. Severely flat-chested, bow legged, a gut that hangs out dangerously, a never ending tendency to put her hands between her legs (when not picking at her ass) and a walk that's more lumber than glide. Michelle Obama is not a fashion plate and never will be. Of course, it doesn't help when your outfits resemble Peg Bundy's as Michelle's ensemble did. But nothing will ever help and the press could probably reduce a lot of their own stress load if they would just agree to face facts. (Beauty in a First Lady is neither needed nor required. Lady Bird Johnson wasn't a great beauty nor was Eleanor Roosevelt. Barbara Bush was . . . well, we won't say the word but it rhymes with "bugly.")
There is a fashionista in the White House: Barack. And the special -- both nights -- caught Barry O doing his little cat walk strut which is part peacock, part confidence and full on swish. If the loud music NBC was pumping during those segments hadn't played, we bet you would have heard cries of, "Work that runway! You go, girl!"
He provides the only glitter and glamour in the White House. He doesn't have a great deal of competition. In addition to Michelle, Valerie Jarrett was also featured. Watching the Jarrett footage, we felt the need to offer some advice: If you don't know how to exit a limo, don't ride in a limo.
Specifically, if you're a woman and you're wearing a dress, you need to know how to depart a limo. You need to know how to do so gracefully and without having the back of your dress ride up.
But Barack's never needed anyone to tell him to turn towards the opened door, place both feet on the ground and step up slowly. Barack's a celebrity and could rock the house on the WB, if it were still around, as yet another nonsexually threatening, boyish male that virgin males and females could glom onto.
Barack came off like the good giant. Michelle, despite her immense height, was lumped into the bad pukwdugies along with Valerie Jarrett and a host of others including Brian Williams. Poor Brian. Prostate cancer is very likely in his future based on a Duke study which found a relationship (further testing is needed) between men with narrow shoulders and prostate cancer. Williams' shoulders are so narrow he basically has the build of a garden snake and doesn't that comparison work on several levels?
The special had the look of Tomie de Paola's art work for The Good Giant and The Bad Pukwdugies. That would be a good thing were it not for the fact that de Paola was going for a watery look but we expect something different from NBC 'News.' Granted, June 12th, the US goes to digital so High Def is no longer a selling point, it's a requirement. Even so, we were surprised by the watery, soft-focus look of a 'news' special.
But it wasn't news, not real news, not even fake news. It was propaganda. State propaganda. And there's so much of it, it's becoming difficult to remember what news pre B.O. actually looked like? Bill Moyers embarrassed himself throughout 2008 as he turned his program over to electing Barry O. Friday, he had Jeremey Scahill on as a guest. It wasn't brilliant, it was better than anything Bill's done in a long, long time. No one bellied up to the bar more often than Bill for Kool-Aid shots so maybe it's no surprise that he'd finally awake to one hell of a hangover? May others soon follow his lead.
