This follows the revelations that Craig, at best, suffered from 'happy feet' in a men's airport bathroom. [See "Larry Craig's 'wide stance'" and "THIS JUST IN! WATCH THAT 'WIDE STANCE' IN AIRPORT BATHROOMS!"] The news of Craig's arrest for what we'll term soliciting a stall stranger for sex broke on Monday. On Tuesday, it was time for Craig to hold a press conference where he did everything but jump up and down on a couch to convince people he wasn't gay.
On Saturday, Craig issued a statement that included the following:
I have little control over what people choose to believe, but clearly my name is important to me and my family is so very important also. Having said that, to pursue my legal options, as I continue to serve Idaho, would be an unwanted and unfair distraction of my job and for my Senate colleagues. These are serious times of war and of conflict--times that deserve the Senate's and the full nation's attention.
Help us, we're confused, so he's saying he's stepping down because . . . he's not gay?
Those damn witch hunts! Poor Larry Craig has to leave the US Senate because he's not gay.
Or is he attempting to blame the illegal war for his departure?
The Republicans went into overdrive as they rushed to distance themselves from him all last week. So we'll assume that there will be no reunion tour for the Singing Senators. Can we get a quote from Trent Lott, John Ashcroft or Jim Jeffords? We suggest they try out some of the lies Justy Timberlake used when Lance Bass came out.
An anchor around their neck as with 2008 elections next year, the GOP decided to make it very clear that He's Not Gay Larry Craig had no support. So they implemented a 'weigh loss' product to get him out of office and another Republican in his place so that he can be the 'incumbent' by the time November 2008 rolls around.
If the scandal stays off, the GOP could attempt to use the Larry Craig Dead Weight Loss Plan in other states as well. Possibly starting with ousting David Vitter who (at least once and only once he swears) used the services of a professional sex worker. Or did we miss the passage of a law making that legal in DC?
Before Craig announced he was stepping down this weekend, he'd already been stripped of all his committee assignments leading CREW to issue the following:
29 Aug 2007 // Washington, DC - Melanie Sloan, executive director of Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington, expressed surprise that Sen. Larry Craig has been forced to relinquish his committee assignments in light of this week's revelations that he pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct in connection with an attempted sexual encounter with an undercover officer in a Minneapolis airport restroom.
"Senator Ted Stevens maintains his position on the Appropriations Committee despite being the subject of a major criminal investigation, including an FBI raid on his Alaska home and Senator David Vitter maintains his assignments despite admitting to the crime of soliciting a prostitute."
Sloan noted that in response to CREW's calls for Sen. Stevens to step down from his position on the Senate Appropriations Committee where he has jurisdiction over the Department of Justice's budget, Senate Minority Leader Mitchell McConnell demurred, defending Sen. Stevens. Sloan continued, "A disorderly conduct plea requires a member to give up his committee assignment, but a full-fledged bribery investigation does not. Apparently, in the view of the Republican conference there is almost nothing more serious than a member attempting to engage in gay sex."
"For consistency's sake, Senators Stevens and Vitter should both be forced to give up their committee assignments as well."
It's a point worth pondering.
