Dear Third Estate Sunday Review

Dear Third Estate Sunday Review,
You liberals and your silly talk are impossible to get through without a beer or two. Which gave me the idea that we might be able to get together over a few beers and I could set all of you straight.
Wade in Denver

Dear Wade,
There ain't enough beer in the world. Keep reading -- you might learn something.

Dear Third Estate Sunday Review,
I just saw War of the Worlds and I'm wondering how much impact the filmed explosions cause on our biosphere. Do they accelerate the green house effect? How damaging are they?
Ellen

Dear Ellen,
We're not scientists. It's a good question, but we're not scientiests. As for damaging, we'd argue that seeing Tom Cruise pose as a concerned father in an "action film" is pretty damaging. But then Dakota Fanning's not that much younger than Katie Holmes, is she?

Dear Third Estate Sunday Review,
My girlfriend is obsessed with Orlando Bloom to the point where I'm beginning to feel like a third whell. I go over there it's a Lord of the Rings or some other film the little freak is starring in. It's not that I mind her attraction to him, it's that I can't take the obsession. We go to the drug store tonight on our way to her parents where we are expected for dinner. Quick in and out to grab some aspirin she needs. Turns into two hours as she scans the various teeny mags looking for photos of Orlando. The whole time I'm reminding her that her parents are waiting and she doesn't care. She grabs three magazines, pays for them and we leave (without the aspirin). When we get to her parents, she makes up this story about how I got lost and couldn't find their house. So I'm looking like an idiot. What should I do and keep in mind that she's forty-two years old.
Gabriel in upstate New York

Dear Gabriel,
We're not sure what to tell you. One suggestion is give it a year and the bloom will have faded.
We'll also advise that just because someone tells a lie doesn't mean you have to go along. You seem especially bothered by the blame (we've deleted that passage at Gabriel's request). There's no rule that if you're blamed unfairly you have to grin and bear it.

Dear Third Estate Sunday Review,
Why are you so hard on Cokie Roberts? Won't you give her credit for anything?
Concerned in the US

Dear Concerned,
We will give Cokie Roberts credit for being the most persistent gasbag who's time and again spouted conventional wisdom that even she couldn't grasp. We'll also give her credit for being one of the more, if not most, prolific clip-job authors in the trade. Lastly, in a world obsessed with beauty and youth, we'll note that with each TV appearance, she strikes a blow in defense of jowl sporting gasbags everywhere (even if they weren't able to trade on family connections the way she was). Hope that makes you feel better. We'd hate to slight her.