Checking in with Betty

Readers of The Third Estate Sunday Review know Betty's site Thomas Friedman is a Great Man. Hopefully, they realize that before Betty started that site, she was helping us out to get a feel for blogging. She was one of the people reporting to let us provide a range of voices at the protests in March. We profiled Betty in April but felt it was time to do a sit down again.

So you're in the third month of blogging. What have been the surprises?

Links. For instance, there's one guy that's linked to me and I didn't even know about it. My sister was playing on the computer and found his site. That was nice of him but since he writes about Thomas Friedman as well, I wish he'd e-mailed me so I could have provided a link to his site.
I'm not sure if I'd agree with it, I haven't had time to go there. My sister told me about this as she came over to take my kids to the movies tonight. But it's another view on Thomas Friedman and since that's my topic and that's his topic, I would've linked to him if I'd known about him. I feel like I'm rude now because I haven't. Tomorrow, I'm going to look up his blog and e-mail him.

What's been the biggest problem?

Probably finding time to blog. With it being summer, the days are longer and the kids want to stay up later. It's killing my time to blog and the new schedule for the op-eds didn't help.

When you started blogging, Thomas Friedman's column appeared on Sundays and Thursdays in The New York Times.

Yeah, so I thought, Sunday, fine I can do an entry Sunday. Thursday might have to wait until Friday evening, but I could get something up. Then they switched it and now he runs on Wednesday and Friday. Wednesday's a church night for me. I sing in the choir. The new op-ed schedule is killing me. I get e-mails asking me why there's nothing up when his op-ed went up that day. And the honest answer is that I just don't have time.

C.I. wrote about something similar this week, about how you were having trouble with putting links in your posts.

Everyone links to me. Rebecca and C.I. and you guys and Mike and Kat. And I'm off doing my thing and I feel like I'm not doing my part. I read all of the community blogs. And Rebecca's Operations Circle Jerk are things I support and want to take part in. But I've got this whole story for Bettina and how she ended up where she is. It goes to the world view that Thomas Friedman has. And I'm working from my outline and finding myself trying to work in something that isn't always easy to work with. Right now, Bettina's off the meds that Thomas Friedman's being pushing off on her, telling her that they are vitamins. So she should be noticing the world around her, beyond the apartment she and Thomas Friedman live in but it's not easy to always work that in.

We're going to stop you to make a point. Like Bettina, you call him "Thomas Friedman."

Do I? That's probably because I relate to Bettina. I don't call him Friedman?

No.

I hadn't noticed that.

Okay, you were saying that it was hard to take part in noting things you wanted to note that might not fit in with your outline.

Right. I cheated and made Jess and Ty upstair neighbors of Thomas and Bettina Friedman. That helped a little but even so, it was hard to think of a reason to reprint an editorial or something similar. It worked for a slam poetry thing at a party. But I was having enough problems with my writing without trying to figure out who to work in something from outside.
I don't want to break character at the site. But I was thinking, "Okay, you're going to have to come in and say something." So I talked about that with C.I. and the idea we came up with was that Bettina's not currently medicated, she's reading a newspaper if only because Thomas Friedman's forcing his column off on her so if I see something I like, I can post it at my site with just a "Saw this in the newspaper" note.

Which you did this week.

And immediately it made things better because it took the pressure off on how I was going to find a way to note something I thought was important but that didn't fit in with my storyline for Bettina.
The other good advice I'm following is I'm commenting on the larger picture in terms of what is wrong with Thomas Friedman. If there's an op-ed that I don't like, I might comment on that. When I was doing that, there were a lot of e-mails where people were really getting into that. I was responding by trying to do that more. I've got an outline and I need to stick to it. Thomas Friedman's going to make a silly remark every day of the week. If I get stuck on responding to each one, Bettina's story is not going to be told. And that's what the blog's about, how Thomas Friedman views the world and how that brought Bettina into his life.

Friedman loves to insult Bettina as being from a "backwater village."

He's done that, yes. That's in keeping with the way Thomas Friedman sees things. Which doesn't mean that's where she's hailing from. That's another point of the continuing story: just because Thomas Friedman says it doesn't make it so.

We still don't know a great deal about Bettina.

Because Bettina doesn't remember a great deal. She's blocking out some things and they will surface. And after brainstorming with C.I., a lot of the pressure just vanished. I'm going to be working my outline. The Fourth of July two-parter has very little to do with anything that Thomas Friedman's written in the last two weeks. But it goes to who he is. And it's getting us closer to answers about Bettina's past life.

Nicholas Kristof's wife comes off very well.

I don't know anything about her. I thought that Bettina needed someone in her corner and it made sense that if a woman was living with Kristoff's ego, she could relate to someone living with Thomas Friedman's ego because she suffers to a lesser degree than Bettina, but she suffers still.
I'd actually planned to make Bettina's friend Gail Collins.

The editorial and op-ed page editor.

Yeah. I thought if she's having to read over Thomas Friedman's columns, she would be very aware of his limitations and that for that reason, as well as one more, she would be someone on Bettina's side.

What changed that?

The fact that the op-ed schedule changed. I couldn't see Thomas Friedman being overjoyed that he was losing the space in the Sunday paper.

And you let him throw a fit over that.

Right and thought that when Gail Collins entered the story, there'd be a way for her and Bettina to bond. I did think it came off nice to Collins and she seemed like a character that people would care about but the anger that the character Thomas Friedman still has over being pushed out of the Sunday paper made it difficult for me to picture Collins dropping by or attending a picnic or anything else.

You call her Mrs. K?

Because she's married to another ego in need of stroking. She's actually a reporter in her own right. They have kids, three kids, but I'm following the Ava and C.I. rule that children are off limits. I don't think Mrs. K has come off bad though.

No, she's been an intelligent character.

Good because I've read Kristof's writing and have no problem having some fun with him but I really have no problem with her. I don't know her writing. Someone sent me a photo of her and I thought, looking at it, her views could be a great deal different than Thomas Friedman's. I hope that comes across.

It does. She's either amused by Friedman's outbursts or making jokes. She's the Ethel to Bettina's Lucy.

I love I Love Lucy. That makes me feel good because I do mean for Mrs. K to come off as one of the few people who are on the ball in Bettina's world.

Let's talk about some real life problems that effect blogging. You really try to nail your posts down before they go up.

Well I don't feel they are perfect. I understand Ava & C.I.'s reaction to their own TV reviews. I never feel like I said quite what I wanted to in anything that makes it up at my site. I get nice comments in e-mails so I know a joke or two worked but I've never had the feeling, "This is one I'm just 100% proud of." I don't think I've done anything to pat myself on the back over. If I had more time, I'd probably be rewriting posts that are already up. I'm bothered by the typos as well. So it's not like I've walked around saying, "Yeah, I'm the greatest!"

We think you've done great work. Perfectionism syndrome?

I don't know. I don't think you can have kids and keep your sanity with a perfectionism syndrome. You do your best and then let it go. Or that's what I do.

Knock wood, no more accidents for the kids.

Knock wood. A part of me wanted to say, "No more tree climbing!" But kids need to climb trees and play and things are going to happen. It's just hoping for the best and letting it go. There will be accidents and I just have to accept it.

What was the biggest headache this week other than blogging?

Tuesday evening the DVD player went out. You would have thought there was no electricity.
My oldest would not let it go. I said watch a videotape if you want to watch a movie. But it had to be one of the Spy Kids on DVD. So after work when I picked them up, we went straight to Best Buy and bought a new DVD player. I wondered about that because I didn't want to be caving in to demands. I said on Tuesday, "We're not going out tonight. Get a videotape, get a book, grab a game, do something." And then we went out Wednesday. But it is on the way to church so we didn't have to make a special trip. We pass right by it, the player was cheap and we did need to get another one at some point. I can remember being a kid and the only TV we had went out. It seemd like we waited months to replace it but it was probably just until the next payday. So when we got home that night and I'm putting them to sleep, I'm thinking of that and wondering if I got the new DVD player too soon and did it send a message to the kids, especially my oldest, that if you scream you get your way? That's one of the things you have to wonder about and toss around and then just let it go.

So all is well and the DVD player entertains constantly.

No. A DVD goes on and it's watch for five minutes, then run and go play. Which is fine, they don't need to spend a lot of time in front of the TV. On Saturdays, after they've run and played all day, they'll sit down and watch a whole DVD. During the week, it's a few minutes and then they're out of the room. Which is kind of like the kittens. Thursday night, my daughter wakes me up. She got up and went to the bathroom. Which I'm glad about but our cat Midnight had settled in the bathroom during her pregnancy and she had her kittens. We all had to get up and see them. Friday that was still the only thing they wanted to do. Go watch the kittens. Which means I have to be in there too because they'll try to grab them and Midnight's very protective.
Next morning, it's not even a topic. My son says, "Mama, they don't do anything." They'll be excited again as the kittens start running around and getting into trouble.

Are you keeping all of them?

Two from the litter. That's it. They know that, they know they need to choose two. They know if they don't, I'll choose the two. The rest are going to my uncle who lives out of town and has room for them. It's not a farm but he's got a big yard and they'll have room to roam.

Is it going to be a problem?

I'm already anticipating the tears. But we don't have room for Midnight and six kittens. We really don't have room for any kittens. And when a friend palmed Midnight off on me, I thought she was a little fat, I didn't know she was pregnant. My friend swears she had no idea either. But we get Midnight and within a week, I'm having to explain to the kids that Midnight's going to be a mommy. If they pick, it'll be based on whichever two they think are cutest. If I pick, I'd really like to pick two tom cats to avoid more pregnancies. But I worry what message that might send so if I pick, we'll pick a boy and a girl and as soon as they're old enough, they'll be fixed. Which will be happening to Midnight as well. We don't have room for a house full of kittens. The other big news was that my middle child is going around pinching. That's been another problem this week. (Laughing) Just like Sheila E., I'm living the glamorous life.