Worst Web Site ABC.go.com (Ava and C.I.)

ABC.go.com sucks according to readers of this site who can't wait for the fall when ABC shows are scheduled to be available on Hulu.com. Why so much hostility to ABC.go.com?



We wondered and then we attempted to watch an episode there.



We've never reviewed Lost here, have no interest in doing so. Our lives have moved along just fine without ever seeing an episode. We had to endure five minutes of it, five minutes of bad net, really bad net, net so bad it was as if Fred Silverman was programming it. Not from the days when he was a golden boy, but from his NBC decline when shows like SuperTrain and much more crashed and burned.



We were planning to review The Goode Family this week and had already seen two episodes passed on by friends. But since we were playing with ABC.go.com, we figured we'd check that out again.



It seemed simple enough, just go to ABC.go.com and click on "Free episodes" and there it was . . . kind of.



First problem?




Installing a player. We were on a laptop and we have Real Player, Windows Media Player, Quick Time and Winamp already on it. Apparently those players aren't enough. We were on a laptop and, as we went through the process of downloading and installing ABC's player (which is useless except to play ABC programming -- which is useless?), we thought about how a lot of people would probably take a pass right there. Especially if they were on a laptop and worried about filling up their hard drives.



When that was finally done (about three minutes to download and install), we thought we'd be able to watch the program.



We were wrong.



And this is where we encountered "The ABCs of Lost." Five minutes of hype, propaganda and stupidity. Jack and Kate and Sawyer were "a romance for the ages." Uh, no. They compose a romantic triangle. Unless Jack and Sawyer start plugging into one another (the only twist the show has apparently not yet taken), this isn't a romance, it's two parts of a triangle competing for the third part. Get it? ABC doesn't.



Five minutes of "The ABCs of Lost," five minutes that never seemed to end in which ABC kept stressing so often that we'd now be able to be instant experts and able to catch any episode of Lost that we wondered if we'd clicked on the wrong show by mistake?



Finally it was time to "Click Play to Continue." We did.



And got five minutes of The Goode Family. After the five minute commercial of Lost.



We actually got 5:17 minutes of The Goode Family and then ABC was screwing with us as "30" appeared on screen for thirty seconds and began counting backwards while Doug Savant and Marc Cherry cock-knocked about how wonderful Desperate Housewives was. We could get through thirty seconds of this, we promised, gritting our teeth. But they were screwing with us. When the "30" countdown struck "1," The Goode Family didn't start. We were stuck with Desperate Housewives for five minutes.



"Which character are you most like on the show?"



"I think I'm most like Lee because he gets to use musical theater references," babbled Marc Cherry while Doug Savant grinned like a yokel visiting the Big Apple for the first time. When Cherry finally came up for air, Savant rushed in to insist, "And bitchy!"



Savant would reveal he enjoys his part and could ("if I have this much fun playing a half man") do so forever. Reminding us that these five dull minutes could be enlivened with Nicolette Sheridan -- whom we doubt would be saying she enjoyed the show (her character was killed off this season). Reminding us that Doug Savant was the most useless character on Melrose Place and has only become more so on Housewives.



Five mind numbing minutes. We've so far had to sit through a five minute promo for Lost and now were sitting through five minutes for Desperate Housewives. How much of The Goode Family had we seen? ABC had 'generously' shown us 5:17 minutes.



"Click Play to Continue." You know, on Hulu, it's seamless. The commercial plays and, when it's over, the show starts up all on its own. Maybe ABC thinks everyone runs from the laptop when the network advertising starts playing?



We're back to watching the 21:44 minute "Series Premiere" of The Goode Family. It started back up at 5:17 and, wouldn't you know it, when it gets to 9:29 minutes, we're back to another network commercial.



In fact, we're back to Marc Cherry and Doug Savant flogging Desperate Housewives and themselves. They're so mind numbingly boring, it took about a minute of the five minute ad before we realized it was the exact same one we'd seen before. As Marc Cherry was (again) babbling on about "new characters," we noticed that, with that red polo shirt and those flabby man boobs, Marc Cherry must be GOP for "Needs to wear a bra." Or maybe he was paying homage to Carol Burnett's Stella Toddler?





"Are you done pitching incest storylines on ABC.com?" Cherry asked Savant.



We blinked and tried to think of two men who could be as boring and as nonsexual for five minutes?



"Click Play to Continue." We do. And The Goode Family starts back up at 9:29. To recap, in order to watch the less than half hour animated show, we've seen a five minute commercial for Lost and two five-minute commercials for Desperate Housewives. And we're still not done with the show. We've watched 15 minutes of commercials and only seen 9:29 minutes of entertainment programming.





At 15:48, it's time for the next commercial. The "30" comes up as it always does. We think it must be a form of torture they first tried at Guantanamo.



"We just want to watch the show!" we screamed at our laptop.



It was a commercial for laser eye surgery.



It ran for 30 seconds.



Web Programmer be praised.



We couldn't believe it. We couldn't believe a commercial only lasted thirty seconds. We were just so grateful and so eager to "Click Play to Continue."



The program resumed at 15:48 and played through to the end (21:44). The brightness and contrast went in and out throughout this segment. The pixels were so bad at one point that someone might have assumed the Goodes were relatives of Casper.



And finally it ended.



With a commercial starting and we just didn't have the energy for it.



To watch a 21:44 minute program, ABC had subjected us to 15:30 minutes of advertising.



And it wasn't even smart advertising. Are people watching an animated program the normal audience for Desperate Housewives or Lost? And if ABC is attempting to promote shows, is it really necessary for them to promote two of their biggest hits? Wouldn't it make more sense to promote their shows in need of promotion?



And what was up with the laser eye surgery commercial? We were just about to point out that few of the core and target audience for an animated program needed laser eye surgery but then we remembered how, following that commercial airing, the video stream repeatedly alternated between overly light and overly dark and how the pixels dropped out so much it appeared ghosts were on campus visiting the sex booths. Suddenly, the laser eye surgery commercial was looking a lot like product placement.



And ABC.go.com was looking like the biggest waste of time. We got it. We got why, for example, reader Mimi wrote she'd rather watch her son "create a 'program' for me on his Etch-a-Sketch" than watch an episode on ABC.go.com. We got why reader Lorenzo wrote, "Online ABC is basically the 'channel' I block." It more than made sense. To watch a 21:44 minute program, we had to sit through 15:30 minutes of commercials and we had to install a player. All the complaints more than made sense.

Worst scene stealer of the 20th century

Poor Bette Davis. By 1942, she had two Best Actress Academy Awards (for Dangerous and Jezebel) so who would have thought she'd have to work overtime to not be upstaged by . . . well Ann Sheridan's nipples. The Man Who Came To Dinner co-starring Ann Sheridan and her nipples as some sort of early forerunner of Bo Derek.

We knew stockings were in short supply during WWII but who knew bras were as well?

The digital switch

The analog to digital conversion is scheduled to take place June 12th and that's led to a number of questions.

Jessie e-mailed, "Ava and C.I. raised the issue about plugging into a VCR awhile back. That's what I have done to get a better analog signal. Will I be able to do that with the converter box and will I get a better signal?" Jessie is one of many writing in with that question. First, yes, you can plug the converter box in through the VCR (or DVD player or VCR - DVD player). We'll give your our recommendation on which one to buy in a moment (and which not to) but there are models that allow you to easily connect the antenna to the converter box and then the converter box to the TV. As for a better signal? We can't say. None of us lives in a rural area. Ava and C.I. haven't been in a rural area on the road to ask around (nor do they pack a converter box with them when they hit the road).

Ava and C.I. raised that issue because they're up on things. It's not one most of us would think of. But it is a serious issue to those people who live in rural areas and the broadcast tower may be a one hour drive or more away from their home. With analog, plugging their antenna into the VCR and not the TV allowed them to receive a better signal than plugging their antenna into the TV. That may turn out to be the case with digital as well. We don't know. But we do know you can plug it into a VCR, a DVD player or a VCR and DVD combo.





Nino e-mails to ask if he can wait until the day of the switch? Yes. And you may want to. Some stations have not switched over yet. Some are having problems. For example the image sticks and then, thirty seconds later, it's triple-time as the feed catches up. You can wait until the last minute if you want to.





Carrie wants to know how -- "with all the supposed new channels I'm going to have" -- she's going to be able to track down the channels? We tried six converter boxes and all offered a scan option, where you hit that function and the box automatically scans through and notes every channel that you receive. After it does that, you can use up and down buttons and not punch in the number of a channel if you'd prefer. (The way you flip channels on your remote currently.)





Martin e-mails that he's looked at various boxes and sees that all the converter boxes come with a remote "but they don't tell me what size batteries I'll need." If you mean immediately, all five converter boxes that we purchased had the batteries inside the box. It comes with batteries. They are triple A batteries.





Salvador wanted to know about the coupons. Each household could receive two forty dollar coupons. It's too late to request them and get them by June 12th. It's been too late for weeks now. If you have the coupons, look at the bottom right hand corner for the expiration date. If they haven't expired, you can still use them. You go to the store and you purchase the converter box. You scan the coupon after the clerk rings up the purchase. If you're using two coupons, you scan them both. A reader wrote in asking if she could then pass them on to a friend? No. After you scan the coupon, you sign your name and the store then takes the coupons. You do not leave the store with the coupons. (Unless you don't use them.)





Terry has three TVs and only two coupons and wonders what to do? See if someone will give you a coupon, someone you know. Otherwise, prepare to pay full price for the third converter box. If that happen, don't rush to the check out counter with a cheap one that's less than $30. If you find one for $30 or less, chances are it is analog. Make sure before you purchase it that it's digital.





Asking around is actually a smart move for anyone without a coupon. People were sent two coupons. Some people don't need two. By asking around, you may find someone who has a coupon they're not using and is happy to pass it on over to you. We spoke to clerks at four different stores and they said that it shouldn't be a problem and you sign the name on the card but, if you are asked, tell the clerk that's your aunt or uncle who lives with you. Sign the name on the card when you're signing for the card. If you're putting the purchase on a credit card, you still sign your own name for that. But there is a step involved on the coupon where you swipe it and then have to sign a name. It does not have to match the name on your credit card if you're paying with that. Or on your checks if you're paying with a check.





Doug wants to know how sharp the picture is with just a converter box and no cable and no antenna? Doug, if you live in a big city, the picture should be fine. But, again, if you're in a rural area, we can't tell you what to expect because we honestly don't know.





We do know what you need to avoid. We looked at five boxes and stuck with the low end for this feature. We strongly urge you to avoid Apex Digital TV Converter Box. Jess, Jim and Ty bought an APEX DVD player in college and it went out quickly. We have no idea how quickly the box might go out but we know it's a pain in the butt, it most likely comes with the wrong cables (most people using the box will have older TVs and need the cables with the metal ends you screw on, not the plastic ends you plug in). It is less easy to hook up and the option menu is confusing. It's only plus is that it retails at $49 in many stores.








We tested each converter box on Kat's two TVs (she's not made the digital transition) and the one that was the easiest to hook up, the easiest to use and provided the best picture is Venturer Digital Converter Box. We found it listed at $49.99 in multiple stores and, according to Target online, it can be purchased in Target stores for $40.00. That's a very low price and, if you have a coupon, that's one coupon with no extra. This is easy to use, with a instruction booklet (in English and Spanish) that you don't need to refer to once you've hooked it up. The remote control has the menu option and the menu is so easy that you should have no problems at all. We liked it so much that we went and bought another one for Kat so that she'd have it on both of her TVs.





The government is recommending that you "CALL AHEAD TO CONFIRM BOX AVAILABILITY ON THE DAY YOU PLAN TO SHOP." (From a governmental fact sheet on the conversion and the coupon program.) That's probably only more true as June 12th approaches. We didn't call ahead because we were attempting to get a feel of the experience and find out how difficult or easy it could be. We found the Venturer at all the stores and we found the Apex at all the stores. Other than that, the brands varied at each store.





Some stores that are carrying converter boxes include RadioShack, Target, Sears, Best Buy, Wal-Mart and K-Mart. And for the silly ninnies who want to e-mail (thirdestatesundayreview@yahoo.com) to complain that "you pitched Wal-Mart!" -- grow up. In many rural areas, Wal-Mart is all they have. In part because it's a rural area and in part because when the Wal-Mart comes in, everything else shuts down. We don't shop at Wal-Mart ourselves but we don't condemn anyone who does. Those who do might need to travel the country and see what's actually out there.

Adam Kokesh

This is from Adam Kokesh's site and the IVAW co-chair is exploring running for the US House.

Please share this, repost it, put it on your facebook status, etc. We're not starting the r3VOLution without you, but you don't want to get left behind! We can't do this without you . . .

Racist in the White House

Last July, Irwin A. Tang made an argument on how words matter -- at least sometimes -- in Gook, John McCain's Racism And Why It Matters. Tang falls back to winter 2000 to note (page 82):





On February 23, Mai Van On, then 82 years old, said that he wanted John McCain to apologize for McCain's "gook" comments. Mai Van On was the North Vietnamese soldier who rescued John McCain. According to Mai Van On, he dragged the unconscious McCain from the lake and prevented an angry mob of Vietnamese civilians (apparently angry at the U.S. dropping bombs on them) from killing him. "I cannot believe that John McCain would say such things," On said in response to McCain's slurs. "I am sure it was just a mistake, but if he said these words I think he should apologize."





At least sometimes? Homophobes, racists, and more get called out . . . from the right. Search in vain for sexism, by the way. Apparently sexism doesn't exist on the right -- who knew? Of course it exists, it's just not anything 'manly Irwin Tang is going to take on. He's also not going to take on racism. To do that, he'd have to move beyond his Fright Mare Cast and include a lot of his 'friends'.





Take Robert Gibbs.





In 2007, Gibbs almost became the first (and only) person Barack Obama ever fired from his presidential campaign. "Pu**ab" -- a derogatory word against those born in India -- had created a media storm. Ava, C.I. and Kat were present (Ava and C.I. were visiting a friend with the Barack Obama campaign) when a closed door session demonstrated some doors weren't think enough. What was going on?





Barack was balling out Robert Gibbs, his campaign manager, for the memo. The loud exchange ended with Barack exiting and stating if it ever happened again, Gibbs was gone. (The words were a bit saltier but we won't crush the delusions of the Cult of St. Barack . . . yet.)





What had happened?





Ava, C.I. and Kat really had to ask because they were addressing Iraq every day. They weren't following the political developments among rivals in the race for the Democratic Party's presidential nomination.





Robert Gibbs authored a memo. It was racist. It was leaked intentionally and then The New York Times, which the Barack campaign maintained had agreed to keep the memo private, went public with the memo and which campaign produced it.








It was a racist memo.





And Barack should have fired him but the maddening diva never fired anyone, he just screamed loudly (and, yes, sometimes threw things). How could they not fire the man, wondered Kat. Well, it was explained, a firing would look back. A firing would have the press dig some more and keep the story alive.





That was campaign politics.





But that man, the one whose ears should have been covered with blisters from the screaming match, Robert Gibbs is the same man that Barack Obama, once he became president, elected to make White House spokesperson.





He is the administration's spokesperson.





He speaks for the administration.





The man who used racial slurs.





What does that say?





Both about Barack and about the nation?





And what does it say that some words offend 'scholars' like Irwin A. Tang and some don't? It appears that the words aren't the issue -- the political party identification of the speaker is.

Flipper commits suicide

Life in Hollywood is hard on animals, but as we saw above, life after Hollywood can be even harder; it is that which drives much animal rights opposition to the animal film business. It can even make converts of those actually in the business. When I interviewed the Flipper trainer Ric O'Barry for my KPFK radio show, he told me about his lat moments with Kathy, the lead dolphin in the role of Flipper. He explained that unlike other mammals, dolphins are not automatic breathers; every breath is a conscious choice, and when life becomes unbearable they can choose to take no more. They commit suicide. He says that muc of the early morality rate of dolphins in captivity is a result of suicide: "We literally bore them to death."





Ric said that when the Flipper series ended, the dolphins were simply warehoused. Kathy was kept alone in a tank. O'Barry left for India, where he did some soul-searching, and started to feel strongly that what he had been doing to the dolphins was wrong. When he returned from India, he heard that Kathy was sick and went to see her. He found her alone in a tank, with blisters all over her back from the sun. As I interviewed him about Kathy, he got too choked up to talk about it, but on a video made by the Dolphin Project he described her final moments:





She swam right over into my arms, looked me in the eye, took a deep breath, and never took another one. I let her go and she sank very slowly to the bottom of the tank.



He describes jumping into the tank, attempting to revive her, realizing it was too late, and crying,





'My God, what have I done?'





He tells us,





Kathy was an enormously clever and bright creature, who, when there was no use for Flipper, for Kathy, had been consigned to a tank to die. And die she did, with me weeping for having done this horrible thing to her.





The above is from Karen Dawn's Thanking The Monkey: Rethinking The Way We Treat Animals (pp. 84-85). The book, published in April 2008, is the perfect read for the summer offering substance in a lively, readable manner. The book is both a resource and a conversation starter. Strongly recommended.

Highlights

This piece is written by Rebecca of Sex and Politics and Screeds and Attitude, Cedric of Cedric's Big Mix, Kat of Kat's Korner, Betty of Thomas Friedman is a Great Man, Mike of Mikey Likes It!, Elaine of Like Maria Said Paz, Ruth of Ruth's Report, Marcia of SICKOFITRADLZ, Stan of Oh Boy It Never Ends and Wally of The Daily Jot. Unless otherwise noted, we picked all highlights. Terry Barnich died Monday in Iraq, he was a State Dept employee. The photo's of him.



"I Hate The War" and "Vietnam and Iraq" -- The two most requested highlights by readers of this site. C.I.'s offering history lessons.


Isaiah's The World Today Just Nuts "Future of the Court" -- Anna Diggs Taylor should have been the nominee. She earned it. She's the only judge you can say that about.


"Kat's Korner: Tori Amos, the friend you fear for" and "Kat's Korner: David Saw, Why Didn't You Hear?" -- Kat did two reviews over the holiday: Tori Amos and David Saw. Check out the reviews, then check out the albums.


"THIS JUST IN! BETRAYAL!" and "What betrayal looks like" -- Oh, Kim Gandy, how you have fallen.


"Closing thoughts," "The lynching," "Barack may be post-racial; however, our society is...," and
"Ruth's off in Japan" -- Ann filling in for Ruth.


"Leave the man alone!," "burris, st. clair, frank, debra sweet," "Barack may be post-racial; however, our society is not," "Brief," "Get some proof or stop the witch hunt.," "Senator Roland Burris." "Steve Chapman weighs in on the witch hunt" and "World Can't Wait" -- Community reactions on the latest whisper campaign against Senator Roland Burris.



"The Blockhead Roberts" -- Isaiah looks back to when John Roberts was nominated for the Supreme Court.


"Noting one of the fallen in the Kitchen" & "it's never just 1 person" -- Trina and Rebecca both decided to emphasize one of the fallen.


"thoughts on abeer's family" -- Rebecca weighs in.


"Torture and Lie Face Sara Jane Moore" -- Readers of this site loved Kat's post. They agree Sara Jane Moore shows no remorse and reader Jodi wonders, "How long before she's back in prison?"


"Jeff Biggers is Diane Chambers" -- Yes, he is. Yes, he is.

"The Trouble With Angels" -- Stan's movie post.

"I slept through the military coup" -- This was a C.I. request and C.I. noted a number of reasons including the title which has a rhyme in it. (The post is Stan's.)

"Nutty Naomi" -- Yes, she is. Yes, she is.

"Photos" -- Rebecca picks this post of Mike's as his best all week.

"THIS JUST IN! HE NEVER KNOWS WHO HE IS!" & "Barry lives in make believe land" -- Wally and Cedric cover the Mystique prez Barry O.

Truest statement of the week

This is truly a moment I must say, "If you're not outraged, you're not paying attention...."
The stunning plan Barack Obama slipped into his speech Thursday, a speech filled with "the rule of law" is PROLONGED, or PREVENTIVE DETENTION.
The President said he will "develop an appropriate legal regime" to indefinitely imprison people without charges based on what he thinks they might want to do, on their speech, or their associations. He admitted that there are people now detained who cannot be prosecuted because evidence against them is tainted by torture, or because there simply IS no evidence against them. He implied this could go on for a decade or more.
The Bush regime thought about this, but never tried it. This has never been done by the US in its history. What does it mean that Obama stated flatly that habeas corpus -- the right to know charges against you, and be able to defend yourself - will be indefinitely denied to a class of people.



-- Debra Sweet, "Who Will Step Out Boldly?" (World Can't Wait).