Tuesday, August 06, 2019

TV: Swindling the audience

In a chess game, rooks are considered major pieces and that may have confused the people behind STARZ's new program THE ROOK because it's a minor and underwhelming series.

3 JESS

A drab and fun free look at a secret agency and superpowers?  It's as though Terrance Young decided to direct DR. NO in the style of John Osborne's DON'T LOOK BACK IN ANGER.  Who's to blame?

Not the cast.  Joely Richardson, Oliva Munn, James D'Arcy and others do everything asked of them and then some.  It's not their fault that so little is asked and so little is delivered.

A suspense show can be many things, however, dull is not one of them.

So little happens and what does happen you really don't care about.  Somewhere in all of this, there was a story worth telling but along the way, coinciding with Stephanie Meyer being forced out as executive producer, everything fell apart.

Is anyone watching this show?  No, the audience drops each week.

It's appalling that it even made it to air but considering how much STARZ shelled out for it, we're guessing their attitude was it had to air regardless of how many viewers it ran off.

So much this summer hasn't made sense.

Take TURNER CLASSIC MOVIES programming for pedophiles on Sunday.  What else do you call that day long salute to Shirley Temple?

For those who don't know, Shirley was one of the biggest stars of the depression.  She could dance and sing and, most of all, seeing her onscreen made people feel good -- she had the warmth of a true star.  This allowed her to be the number one star in the nation for several years despite the fact that she was a young child.

Shirley had real talent and, yes, she could act.

Devoting a day to her is not a bad decision.  But how TCM programmed that day was.  Throughout the daylight hours, they aired one bad film -- in terms of box office and critical appraisal -- after another, films people avoided in real time and, most importantly, films Shirley made as an adult.  Her big hits were when she was a child.  That's not fair.  Her blockbusters were when she was a child.  Blockbusters because she was the biggest ticket in town as a young child.

So where did these movies -- cherished and adored -- show up on the schedule?

Well, at eight p.m. EST, REBECCA OF SUNNYBROOK FARM (1938) kicked off the series of blockbusters.  At 9:30 EST, it was time for 1937's WEE WILLIE WINKIE, 1939's SUSANNAH OF THE MOUNTIES showed up at 11:30 pm, 1936's POOR LITTLE RICH GIRL at one in the morning, 1937's HEIDI showed up at 2:30 in the morning and, at 4:15 a.m., 1937's THE LITTLE PRINCESS.

Were they programming for pedophiles?

They weren't programming for families because no kid was going to want to watch the daytime offerings like THAT HAGAN GIRL (1947) -- in fact, no one wanted to watch it which is why it bombed.  As an adult, Shirley had three real hits -- not blockbusters like her early work, but hits -- and if TCM had mixed those in, it might have made sense (FORT APACHE, SINCE YOU WENT AWAY and THE BACHELOR AND THE BOBBY-SOXER).  If.


Because there was never any real reason to mix those in.  Starting with 1934's LITTLE MISS MARKER, there are more than enough of Shirley's blockbuster films that there's no reason to even offer up her so-so efforts as an adult.

LITTLE MISS MARKER, BABY TAKE A BOW, NOW AND FOREVER (with Carole Lombard and Gary Cooper co-starring with Shirley), BRIGHT EYES, THE LITTLE COLONEL (with Lionel Barrymore, Bill Robinson and Hattie McDaniel), CURLY TOP, THE LITTLEST REBEL (again with Bill Robinson), CAPTAIN JANUARY, POOR LITTLE RICH GIRL (with Alice Faye and Gloria Stuart), DIMPLES, STOWAWAY (again with Alice Faye), WEE WILLIE WINKIE, HEIDI, REBECCA OF SUNNYBROOK FARM, LITTLE MISS BROADWAY (with Edna May Oliver), JUST AROUND THE CORNER (with Bill Robinson), THE LITTLE PRINCESS and SUSANNAH OF THE MOUNTIES.

Those 18 films were all blockbusters that she starred in.  You could have done a full day of programming just focusing on those 18.  You could include THE BLUE BIRD which was not a blockbuster but has been a critical favorite for years.  Or a movie like OUR LITTLE GIRL which came during the run of Shirley's blockbusters but somehow wasn't one itself.

But she has 18 blockbusters from her child acting career.  And it's really sad and sort of sick that TCM chose to program her blockbusters after the sun went down and the kids went to bed.

THAT HAGAN GIRL and the other crap is not memorable and doesn't belong in a salute to a great star.  But the real point is that her films as a child should not have been buried in the late night hours unless TCM was attempting to cater to pedophiles.

It makes no sense.  Nor does Ben Mankiewicz.

Someone needs to explain to Ben that he's not Trevor Noah.  First off, he's not a comedian.  Second off, no one needs him to be 'topical.'  We watch TCM -- and we wouldn't purchase any cable deal or streaming service without TCM -- for the movies.  We watch because we love movies.

We don't need to know what Ben thinks of Barack and Michelle Obama, what he feels about Brexit or anything else.  He needs to shut his damn mouth or take that commentary over to his YOUNG TURKS.  TCM is not about politics.  It is about movies.  If he can't stay on that topic, he needs to go.

It's not like he's good looking or easy on the eyes.  He's an ugly, little troll.  Yes, since we've attacked his bad wardrobe, he's finally stopped showing up on camera in suits that appeared to come from the Salvation Army.  But, even better dressed, he's still an ugly troll.  If he can't focus on movies, show him the door.  Nobody gives a sweet s**t which dead person Ben was related to.

Dave Karger, Alicia Malone and even Eddie Muller live up to the standard set by the late Robert Osborne.  You're supposed to share the excitement of movies, share the love of the form and the three of them do.

But then along comes Ben who apparently is bored with movies and forever needs to interject his notion of humor (he's not a funny person) by offering political asides that don't belong on TCM.

Politics and real events do belong on CNN.  As confused as Ben Makiewicz is about TCM, Don Lemon is about CNN.


He grabbed a pair of glasses to co-moderate the Democratic Party presidential debates last week on CNN.  Too bad he couldn't grab a clue.

One day, when his career is over, Don may grasp that he should have done more than pose -- that may be one day very soon since he's not delivering an audience on his own and he's become such an embarrassment for the networks.

Last week, another co-moderator, Jake Tapper, brought up foreign policy and the wars.  Jay Inslee desperately wanted to speak.  And should have.  Before he was a governor, he was a member of Congress and he voted against the Iraq War.  As the ridiculous Tulsi Gabbard was defending War Hawk Joe Biden, America needed to hear from Jay.

Joe's lie these days is that he was tricked by that clever Bully Boy Bush.  That's why he supported the Iraq War, he insists today.  Of course, Joe didn't just vote for it, he sold it, he silenced critics of the illegal war (both before it started and afterwards), he declared in April 2008 in an open hearing that Iraq did not have an actual government but went on to back that non-government going so far in 2010 as to overturn the vote of the Iraqi people (via The Erbil Agreement) and much more.

But just on the being tricked to vote for it aspect, it required that Jay Inslee speak.  He was in Congress at the same time as Joe.  He saw the same information that Joe did.  And he made the decision to vote against the war -- a decision that history shows was the right decision.

So Jay should have been allowed to speak.

But Don didn't care about that.

He was eager to move on to a different topic: Impeachment.

He needed to know what these candidates, candidates who want to become president, would do about impeachment.

As everyone knows, Article II, Section Four of the US Constitution gives the power of impeachment to a sitting president and --

Huh?

Oh, that's right.  It doesn't do that.

The power of impeachment is a power of the US Congress.

So there was no real reason for this nonsense topic.

MSNBC managed to do two debates in June with these same candidates and never wasted America's time with a question about impeachment.  But Don Lemon refused to let Jay Inslee speak about the Iraq War because he wanted to rush over to this inappropriate topic.

There are real issues in this world.  Mayor Bill DeBlasio attempted to raise one at last week's debate: War on Iran.  He demanded to speak and to speak out against any efforts for war with Iran.  This is a very serious topic.  He was not allowed to speak.  Guess who talked over him?

Don Lemon.

Don is the epitome of trash TV.  In an earlier incarnation, he would have been called Sally Jessy.  He does not belong on CNN -- as his ratings demonstrate (the latest ratings had his program as the 35th most watched cable 'news' program).


A lot of things this summer haven't made sense.  Don Lemon is just one more example of a non-important and underwhelming offering.  It's as though summer is programmed to rook the audience.  Those tired of being burned should check out TNT's ANIMAL KINGDOM (new episodes each Tuesday) as well as use the time to revisit I THINK YOU SHOULD LEAVE WITH TIM ROBINSON on NETFLIX.