WSWS -- NEW IMPROVED WEBSITE, OLD DUSTY CONSPIRACY THEORIES
DONALD TRUMP EATS BABIES
by Joseph Kissywhore
Forget Pizzagate, Donald Trump is eating babies. No spirit cooking, he eats them live. Like sushi. In fact, I have it on good authority -- four of the seven voices in my head insist -- that he rolls them in seaweed -- Nori seaweed. I've even heard that he dips them in Wasabi before eating them. I'm running for president too, or on a few ballots anyway, but it's really important to me that you vote for the other Joseph, Joe Biden. . . .
A video statement by WSWS International Editorial Board Chairman Dick Nuts "My way of saying welcome to the all new WSWS"
OUR DEPLORABLE SENATE
by Patting Ricks Johnson
Throughout the first three days of Supreme Court nominee Judge Amy Coney Barrett's confirmation hearing, our cowardly senators on both sides of the aisle refused to ask Barrett where she believes US Fascist President Donald Trump was the day JFK was assassinated -- this silence despite the fact that a teenaged Donald Trump was rumored to have a THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E. NAPOLEAN SOLO GUN -- a 'toy' that, remember boasted it ''converts into a rifle with stock-silencer-telescopic-sight-bipod. How close to the Texas Book Depository did Trump get? It's a question not even Senator Ted Kennedy had the guts to ask! ...
The above story has been retracted after several readers left comments explaining that, even if Trump had such a gun, he wouldn't have had it in 1963 since THE MAN FROM UNCLE did not start airing until 1964. In addition, numerous readers insisted Trump could never be in a book depository or a book store or anywhere reading or knowledge might take place. In addition, some of you are claiming that Ted Kennedy is dead. We believe you have confused the senator with his late brother JFK. To our readers, we say that we're sorry you question us and encourage you to always believe anything bad about Trump. That's how we retake the White House -- oops, we didn't mean to say that. We're Social-lites, not Democrats!!!!
SOCIAL-LITE PERSPECTIVE
In Times of Trouble, Ask What Cornelia Guest Would Do?
by Joannie La-la-la
What is the role of fashion in the midst of a pandemic? Enormous!!!! Staring at Maria Grazia Chiuri's Dior, I was reminded yet again of what philosopher and fashion activist Cornelia Guest once said, "What I don't understand is these people who go on the street wearing riding clothes, and they have never been on a horse. They ought to have their heads examined, really. It's a joke. But, let's face it, we live in a fantasy world." For more inspiration and judgmental calls, seek out Cornelia's 2013 HARPER'S BAZAR essay "My Mother C.Z." which contains such powerful insights as, "She hated high heels -- they make you look like a prostitute, she would say."