Tuesday, August 14, 2018

TV: Another take on INSATIABLE

There are many stories about NETFLIX's new series INSATIABLE.  There's the story about how it resulted in a petition calling for NETFLIX not to release it.  There's the story about how it's the worst reviewed series of 2018.  So many stories.

For us, the most interesting story about INSATIABLE is Alyssa Milano.

When the petition came out, noting how offensive the show was for fat shaming, the aging Twitter 'activist' doubled down and insisted that the show was amazing and it was wonderful and, if people would just wait for the series to air, well, they would see that.

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Well all 12 episodes were released last Friday and the show was judged offensive and lacking in humor, insight or anything of value.  In fact, Linda Holmes (NPR) probably summed it up best:

Let me assure you: It is not satire. Insatiable is satire in the same way someone who screams profanities out a car window is a spoken-word poet. Satire requires a point of view; this has none. It generally requires some feel for humor, however dark; this has none. It requires a mastery of tone; this has none. It requires a sense that the actors are all part of the same project; this has none.


Despite receiving the sort of reviews that can be career destroying, we marveled over Alyssa's gift of self-absorbtion and her efforts to power through, offering one Tweet after another throughout the weekend.

To quote REALITY BITES, your bravado is embarrassing.

But what was even more embarrassing was all her promotional appearances last week.

She is not the star of INSATIABLE.  She's not even a co-lead.  She plays a minor character who appears in nine of the tweleve episodes.

A minor character, but damned if she didn't commandeer the press tour as though she were still young and dewey and that star of this show geared towards teenagers -- Joan Crawford trying to steal focus and thunder at a CACTUS FLOWER party was less obsessed.

It was almost as though even Alyssa realized her career's last shot at life ended in 2006 when CHARMED was cancelled.

CHARMED.  As the reviews for INSATIABLE started rolling in -- one bad review after another, Alyssa had to do something, anything, to grab attention yet again.  So suddenly, there she was on the Saturday news cycle, insisting yet again how wronged she was that THE CW had ignored her in starting the reboot of CHARMED.

Can't we get real on her ass?  And while we're at it, on Holly Marie Combs' ass too?

Those women who keep whining that they should have been involved?

Why?

Who the hell are they?

Two self-obsessed actress who can't find meaningful work.  Yes, Holly can act and, no, Alyssa cannot act -- but that's not really the issue, is it?

Constance M. Burge.

For any tired of listening to Holly and Alyssa whine about how unfair THE CW has been to them-them-always-them, those are words to toss back at them.

Despite both actress pretending they created CHARMED, Constance M. Burge created the show.  She's the woman they never name.  She's the woman that they couldn't stand by.  Constance is the woman forced out of the show by the harasser and sleaze Brad Kern.  She created the show and Holly and Alyssa couldn't stand by her back then.  After she was forced out, Holly and Alyssa ended up as producers for four years.  Yet somehow they never noticed Brad Kern harassing women on the set of the show.  They took their checks but failed to do their job as producers which is to ensure a safe work environment.

They really are deluded.

They were two actresses for hire.  They weren't owed a damn thing.  When Drew Barrymore was developing CHARLIE'S ANGELS as a film project, she didn't owe anything to Farrah Fawcett, Jaclyn Smith or Kate Jackson.  Where do Alyssa and Holly get off thinking they're owed anything?  They were paid -- well paid -- for acting on CHARMED.  They cashed their checks.  They did not create the series, that was Constance Burge.


Why would you ask two middle-aged actresses for input in a reboot of CHARMED?

Holly's really good about climbing on the cross and whining about 'ageism.'  Where was that concern during the last four years of CHARMED when she was a producer?  What regular character -- middle aged character -- did producers Holly and Alyssa add to the show?

Answer: None.

More to the point, it's 2018 and the White, White ways of Alyssa Milano did not result in diverse casting on CHARMED.

Dorian Gregory was the only African-American among the regular cast and producers Alyssa and Hope both were okay when he was written off after season seven.  Not only were they okay with it, they felt no pressure to add anyone of color.  No boyfriend who lasted more than one episode on the show as ever a man of color.  When casting new female regular characters they went with the likes of Kaley Cucoco.  Four four seasons, Holly and Alyssa were given a production credit on each episode but they never did anything with it.  No diverse cast was created and no safe work environment was created.

But, oh, how the two actresses whine that CHARMED is being rebooted without their involvement or input.  Again, Constance M. Burge created the show, not Holly, not Alyssa.

Again, we have to quote REALITY BITES, your bravado is amazing.

INSATIABLE is a hideous show that's been rightly panned by every critics.  But for us, the take away really is that a desperate woman who has never studied her craft and still performs like a child actress really will do anything to be in front of the public -- even for a few minutes more.