"And will Michelle Obama ever have something written about her which does not mention what she's wearing?" So pondered the Great Gwynie pretending to be a feminist as she (yet again) sat at a table with four guests -- three men and one woman -- on PBS' Washington Week Friday.
Well for Michelle to have "something written about her," she should try doing something more than breathing, don't you think?
And don't feed us any of that crap that she's "Mom-In-Chief." She's not breast feeding, she's not toilet training. She's got two young girls who go to school each day. On top of that, her mother lives in the White House. And, hate to break it to all the fools in the country, she's got a staff.
It's not a good or talented staff but that's her personal problem, not ours. Take for example her "social secretary" (yes, America, we sadly spend tax dollars on such a position) Desiree Rogers. Desiree, as evidenced by her remarks published in The New York Times April 3rd ("Florist for Six Presidents and Many Guests Is Retiring") believes Michelle has style, "modern style," mind you. And when you get done laughing at that, take a few seconds to laugh at the fact that Rogers thinks there's ever been a DC power player with her first name who wasn't either a whore or a mistress. (Laugh even harder when you grasp that Desiree doesn't know the difference.)
Yes, America, hicktown has come to DC. The Chicago sticks want to pass for fashionable and, if you doubted it, The New York Times had to splash Michelle's fashion disasters on the front page of the main section and on two pages of the "International" news section. As if that wasn't waste enough, Helene Cooper -- alleged reporter -- was forced to make like a fashion maven in the accompanying text entitled "Panache And Style On Display In France."
They wish.
The ugly red number she wore beside German Chancellor Angela Merkel made it look like she was auditioning for The Crying Game with some major crotch protrusion while the color and fabric screamed Exotic Whorehouse. Her black number with red flowers or bows or whatever the hell that weird ass s**t was only underscored how lumpy she looks. As did her Jason Wu (Jason Who forever and forever more) dress and her J.Crew dress in London both demonstrated that she needs to work on her posture and consider a pair of control top pantyhose (if not a girdle). (Can't keep that hand in front of your belly at all times, Michelle.)
Michelle's efforts at fashionista all fall flat and that's due to the fact that she has no grace and has on idea how to wear clothes.
Granted, she dresses s**t poor, but even if you put her in Armani, she'd still look like a slob because she never learned how to wear clothes and she never learned the importance of good posture.
While many idiots try to set her up as the next Jackie Kennedy, the reality is that Michelle most resembles Barbara Bush -- another First Lady with a lousy eye for clothes and an inability to look chic in them, no matter how much they cost.
Idiot Sarah of Corrente wanted to have a snit fit -- while wearing her potato sack, no doubt -- and insist that designers in the world of fashion (including Calvin Klein) didn't know what they were talking about. And the idiot wanted to praise Michelle for wearing American made products from J.Crew. That is hilarious. It takes a real idiot to believe J.Crew doesn't use sweat shop labor. (And it says a great deal about the 'standards' at Corrente that such a claim went up in article.)
But it takes a real idiot like Michelle to publicize them. Or is she attempting to telegraph to the world that Barack's gay? Hint, the only couples getting J.Crew are usually the ones with a closeted husband who has yet to graduate to the International Male catalogue (from which he will move on to Inches and then, hopefully, out of the closet).
We have no idea what message Michelle's trying to send to the world but a few points. First, Gwen, if and when Michelle Obama ever actually does something, the press might stop treating her as an ornament. Michelle, you're not dainty and you can't hide those shoulders. The only thing to do is build on them. (Which will give you the illusion of being thin.) (Widening her shoulders -- via shoulder pads -- will also make the wide stance you stand in seem less wide -- or has no one else noticed that she's practically bow-legged?)
To the press, we'd suggest you calm down and revisit reality.
We had no intention of writing about this topic but when idiots like Katha Pollitt are acting as if the press is leading this topic, we'll write about it. The press isn't leading this topic. The press isn't the one getting free outfits from Jason Wu and J.Crew. The press isn't a grown and middle aged woman trying to act like she's twenty-three.
Michelle Obama has done nothing of note. She's done nothing at all. Except . . . select. You can't even call it shopping because that implies paying for something and she doesn't pay for the bulk of the clothes she wears. (A fact that would outrage the nation were she a Republican. See Nancy Reagan and the White House china scandal of the eighties.) So she selects a lot of outfits that she can't wear, that are poorly designed, that might look nice on a woman twenty years younger and about six inches shorter. Michelle's making a fool of herself. A working press would point that out. We don't have a working press but we do have a press that plays follow the leader and, in this case, shallow Michelle Obama has dictated the coverage. The next time we're forced to revist this topic, we'll be far less kind. We might, for example, go into the off balance features.
