Sunday, December 04, 2011

From the TESR Test Kitchen

There we were, on dawn patrol, Sunday morning. Some of us had nasty colds, some of us went in search of medications and vitamin C drops. And it was there, at a drug store, that Jim stopped dead in his tracks.

"BaconPOP!"

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Like the talking dogs in the commercial who rush around saying "bacon, bacon, bacon," Jim just had to have it.

As a supposed recommendation -- more likely a warning -- the box boasts it is "From the makers of Baconnaise and Bacon Salt."

Three bags for about four dollars and each one guaranteed to burn at least partially in your microwave.

On the back of the box, Justin & Dave -- no, we don't know who they are either -- explain:

BaconPOP is the continuing story of two bacon fanatics (Justin& Dave) on a never-ending quest to make everything taste like bacon. It started with Bacon Salt and $5,000 Dave won on America's Funniest Home Videos when his kid hit him in the face. It continued with Baconnaise, the Ultimate Bacon Flavored Spread. And now we bring you BaconPOP, the bacon-flavored microwave popcorn that brings butter and bacon together for a Friday night movie date. BaconPOP is even safe for Vegans and Vegetarians. As Justin is fond of saying, 'Dave should get hit in the face more often'."

When you put it in the microwave and hit that "Popcorn" button, do not walk off. You will need to stand next to the microwave or risk burning the whole bag. It will be done long before the microwave automatically goes off. If you wait for when there are several seconds between kernal pops, guess what, you will still have burned popcorn.

For the third bag, we stopped it while popcorn was still popping. And we still had burned popcorn. (With Orville, we just toss it in the microwave and hit the "Popcorn" button, no problems.)

Well what did it -- or at the least the unburned pieces -- taste like?

Did they taste like bacon?

Not a bit.

They were flavorless. But greasy. And about thirty minutes after sampling, they made you feel bloated.

If you love the taste of bacon, do yourself a favor and skip this product. If someone you love loves bacon, warn them. Warn them now.