Sunday, August 28, 2011

TV: Where's the money?

"I'm willing to lie to do what I have to I'm more than willing to do that and throw someone under the bus." Yes, it does sound like Barack Obama with his game face right before he and the Congress sold America the poison pill that is ObamaCare. But it's not. It's game show contestant Ron on last week's Take The Money and Run (ABC, Tuesday nights, second hour of prime time).

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So far, the show's used couples or siblings as contestants and the two contestants are given a briefcase containing $100,000. From the moment they get the briefcase, they have one hour to hide it. GPS systems will track their cars, their phone records will be known and any receipts they have will be turned over when they're arrested.

Arrested?

At the end of the hour, their own local police (the show's filmed all over the US) will arrest them and take them to a police station where they will be booked and put into two holding cells. Starting with the arrest, the police and interrorgators have 48 hours to figure out where the case is. If they do, the police officers keep the money. If they don't, the contestants keep the money.

The interrogators don't get any money regardless. They are police officer Paul Bishop (who needs to cut that awful hair) and LA Count District Attorney Office's deputy district attorney Mary Hanlon Stone.

Watching five episodes yesterday largely left us neutral. We were glad when a Miami couple beat the system and actually kept the $100,000. We were furious that two brothers weren't able to keep it together. When the Chicago couple Ron and Beau came on, we knew they'd lose.

How? Ron's a Dave Foley type. As anyone who's ever watched News Radio or Kids In The Hall knows, Dave Foley always cracks.

Ron was playing it cool during the hiding, pretending that he couldn't handle anything. Meanwhile Beau's all over the map emotionally. And cracking jokes such as, "I'm sweating like a chubby chaser with a box of doughnuts outside a weight loss clinic." He also cracked jokes about his own weight and wondered, "Next time, can we do Take The Money and Stroll?"

Beau was saying everything he felt. Good for him. He was with his lover and that's when you let it loose. Ron made the mistake of keeping it all in. Like a volcano, you knew he was going to blow.

The Chicago cops were Michele Wood and John Korolis. Wood probably feels really good about herself and she filmed well and came off, overall, interesting. But we're not really into women calling people "p*ssies" and (a) wonder if she used that term because the contestants were a gay couple and (b) how much self-hatred she has to use that term on camera? [ABC did bleep it.]

Or maybe she just doesn't know she has a vagina?

Korolis has a stick up his ass. Not much to look at (we're sure he was considered cute in middle school but someone let him know those days have passed), Korolis' demeanor can best be described as "clenched." Whereas Wood was able to demonstrate she knew she was on a game show, mechanical Wood demonstrated all the range of Robocop and half the warmth.

Despite that and despite being another piece of TV product that Jerry Bruckheimer's squeezed out, the show is involving.

Watching it, we were struck by how few people know what to do in order to win the game. The trick really isn't in the hiding. The police know they're really counting on you breaking and telling them where it is because they really aren't able to find it easily with the information they have. (The exception being two sisters in Miami who hid the box on a trail.) You hide it in a friend's house. That's not the issue.

The issue is the arrest and holding.

Are people really as naive as Ron was?

They broke Ron almost instantly. And he was supposed to be the strong one. He was freaked out about being in the holding cell with nothing to do. (By contrast, Beau suffers from claustraphobia but managed to maintain.) Then he was freaked out that the interrogators, unable to crack him, took a book he'd been reading. And, on top of that, he was unprepared for their attempts to play him.

If you're going to be interrogated and the police are going to play it real and the interrogators are going to play it real, we'd recommend you do the same. In other words, "I want an attorney."

And, hey, go for the court appointed one unless you already have an attorney.

An attorney would have advised you that you don't have to answer questions.

The mistake the losers always make is in answering questions.

You're asked simple questions (with known answers) early on in the interrogation for two reasons. First, they're using small talk to try to bond with you. Second, they're trying to establish a baseline for lying. What do you look and sound like when you lie?

Why are you answering these questions?

And without an attorney present?

You don't have to answer anything.

In fact, the smartest thing you could do is dummy up for 48 hours.

Early on, interrogator Hanlon Stone almost broke Beau. She got him to sing (he's a professional singer), praised him for it, spoke of her own brother who has musical talent, lamented her own lack of it, and established this mini bond with him. She then lied to him and told him she didn't like the female police officer but she liked him (Beau) so he could tell her where the case with $100,000 was and she wasn't going to tell the police officer.

It looked like Beau was going to tell her. He was certainly torn. She had to call a break. She did so, she explained outside the interrogation room, because she was getting too into it and was actually feeling guilty about what she was doing. Bishop thought Beau was faking (he wasn't) and sent her back in to the room. But that break allowed Beau to put it in perspective and realize he couldn't trust her. Good for Beau, but an attorney present would have also made that call and made it much sooner with far less risk.

Beau got all of his fears and frustrations out before the arrest. That's what you do. Ron put on a poker face before the arrest and then crumbled once he was being held. You get what's inside out and do it before you're arrested. Once arrested, you are a stone face.

If Ron had done that, he and Beau would have gotten the money.

Does Ron not watch movies?

Maybe he doesn't. But having been made twice -- once with John Garfield and Lana Turner in the leads, once with Jack Nicholson and Jessica Lange in the leads, we'd assume many have seen The Postman Always Rings Twice. In that film noir, Frank and Cora kill her husband Nick. The murder is difficult to prove so the authorities attempt to turn Frank and Cora on each other. An attorney prevents that (another good reason to have an attorney).

Again, does Ron not watch movies?

What gets him to crumble is their taking his book and telling him that Beau's already been moved to a better place because he's cooperating.

Ron goes into instant self-pity.

He's played and he's too stupid to realize he's being played. He cries and weeps and wants the interrogators to know he'll talk. And he does. He tells everything. Sings like a canary, as the phrase goes.

It was all so stupid. He had less than 20 hours of the 48 left. Stone face and don't speak. That's all he had to do. Stone face and don't speak.

Beau and Ron made huge mistakes in attempting to be friends with both the police and their interrogators. We'll assume that's because they're nice people (they came off very nice). That's great except it's not going to win them the game. You do not speak. You do not answer.

Or, better yet, give them nonsense. Drive them crazy so they don't want to talk to you. "Where did you put that briefcase?" The reply is, "Remember that episode of The Flintstones where Ann-Magrock sings to Pebbles to get her to fall asleep?"

If you talk when you're nervous and can't remain silent, give them gibberish. Talk about whatever you want other than the briefcase. All you have to do is make it through 48 hours.

This is only difficult if you make the mistake of trying to joke with the interrogators and police, trying to befriend them. They are not your friends. They are your opponents. They are there to win, you need to be there to win too.

We're concerned about the game show refusing to address the issue of defense attorneys because that's really not exploring the reality the program pretends it does.

And some may bicker, "It's only a game show."

Yes and in this economy it may be the only way to make money. The most recent numbers from the Bureau of Labor Statistics put national unemployment at 9.1% (next set of numbers are due out this Friday) -- some areas see higher rates (traditionally, rural areas have higher unemployment rates than do urban areas). NPR reported Thursday on foreclosures making "up roughly one-third of all home sales this spring" which is "six times the percentage of foreclosures in a healthy housing market." Earlier this month, Judy Woodruff (The NewsHour, PBS) spoke with the Annie E. Casey Foundation's president Patrick McCarthy on their latest study which found "that the official child poverty rate rose by nearly 20 percent from 2000 to 2009. And, in 2010, 11 percent of children lived with at least one unemployed parent." The inability to improve the economy may be part of why Pew Research's recent study found 79% of respondents staing they're dissastisified with the direction the country is headed in and 86% state they are "either angry or frustrated" and 49% of respondents disapprove of Barack's job performance (a record in disapproval for Barack -- only 43% approve). Scott Horsley (NPR's Morning Edition) recently offered this description of where things are, "Expectations are high precisely because the economy has been laid so low. Hiring has slowed sharply since the beginning of the year. Manufacturing appears to be losing steam. "

If you don't get how bad the economy is, any episode of Take The Money And Run makes that clear very quickly. What's going to happen with the $100,000 if Beau and Ron win? They're "doing it for Mom." Ron's mother can be moved closer and she's over eighty so this is important. And if the police officers win? Michele Wood explains her mother has a lousy job and "her retirement isn't good" while John Korolis adds, "My wife was laid off a year and a half ago and this could help pay the bills."

Game shows that give away money are no longer mere escapism, they also end up becoming social commentary as well. In a lousy economy, that's always going to be their fate.