Sunday, June 12, 2011

5 'lefties' we wish would stop speaking for us on TV

1) Alter-Punky Brewster, Eric Alterman. No one's favorite lisping fool sounds like he got beat up by the chess club. Surely, there's a stronger voice out there.

2) Alter-Punky's boss, Katrina vanden Heuvel (pictured below in one of her typical beach ware outfits in Isaiah's "Grim Peace Resister"). Her insistence upon speaking in that absurd breathy voice makes the cultivated manner of Arianna Huffington's seem home grown. Katty-van-van operates under the rule of: Why speak for myself when I can claim to speak for everyone.

the grim peace resister



3) Melissa Harris-Lacewell-Perry-LieFace. In fairness to LieFace, her appearances on MSNBC are always amusing. When she's announced at the top of the show, you never know what racial panic the bi-racial LieFace will be in. Full-on racial panic? She'll have in the dreads and toss around "my blackness" frequently. As a cultural oddity, a pundit more famous for lying and failing to disclose than for any actual opinion shared, LieFace is probably prime material for a sociological study but in terms of viewing pleasure -- let alone basic information -- she forever fails to deliver.

4) Ed Schultz -- MSNBC's biggest woman hater (a fierce competition even with Keith Olbermann having left the network) is no lefty. The Republican demonstrates that repeatedly to any who pay attention. Our personal favorite? When Little Dicked Ed decided to sing the praises of the CIA-backed contras as "freedom fighters." Drug runners, yes. Freedom fighters, no.

5) Mark Shields. It's past time The NewsHour retired Mark Shields. Not that we think they'd find an actually lefty to fill his shoes but after 23 years, it is past time to find some new blood. Shields is a partisan hack. He exists solely for that reason. When PBS does fill his shoes, it would be truly revolutionary if they could find an actual leftist who didn't carry water for any political party. But there's nothing revolutionary, radical or even living about PBS so don't hold your breath.