OK magazine offers the headline "Bill Maher Makes Wild
Claim about Trump." Saving you the time, Maher claims that Donald is
offering witness protection to anyone who will lie on the stand for
him. When they are not in the courtroom, Donald plans to house them in
his spacious and newly remodeled rear end. Bill Maher knew about this
having spent several years there leasing a garden apartment just to the
right of the anus.
NEWSWEEK
offers the headline "Video of Joe Biden On The Beach Sparks Outrage
From Republicans." What's going on? They want to relegate Joe to a
golf course the way Donald spent his time there during his presidency
and after. They cheer Donald on because they love his breasty boobs
spilling out and jiggling in his golfing shirt. Should Donald return to
the White House, he plans to set up a Mama Leche clinic in the Oval
Office in the hopes that he can start lactating.
DAILY
MOTION offers the headline "SHOCK MOMENT: Lindsay Graham Explodes On
News Max Reporter." What happened? Lindsay later defended himself,
insisting to anyone who listened, "I got consent for that facial. I
did."
"House
Republicans sign 'Unity Pledge' ahead of next Speaker vote" TAG24
insists. What's going on? Lauren Boe-Boebert has been a little too
free with the handy jays and so every Republican in the House is being
asked to sign a "Unity Pledge" promising no sex will take place outside
of marriage. Matt Gaetz has asked, "This is just for adults, right?
It's still okay for me to pursue underage girls, right?"
LGBTQ
NATION offers the headline "Fake medical group tells moms to submit to
their husbands to keep their kids from being transgender." Marjorie
Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert swear by this method . . . despite both
women divorcing their husbands recently.
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This is a new recurring feature. We kicked it off last month with "Responding to Conservative Headlines."