TCM, for any who might be unaware, stands for TURNER CLASSIC MOVIES. Ted Turner created the cable channel. In 1994, the channel started airing with the intent of celebrating classic films by showing them, by discussing them, by honoring them. It was similar to AMC at the time. AMC, when it first started airing in 1984, focused on classic films. It's since gone on to who knows what, but that's how it started out.
Now it's really just TCM. And, after decades of celebration, a problem emerges.
We love SOME LIKE IT HOT -- we think it's the best comedy of the 20th century. But it's become an overplayed staple. If that was the only film, it would be fine. Instead, a set group of films emerged that were played month after month. When it's SOME LIKE IT HOT, that's one thing. When it's BULLITT, that's another. We only need to see that chase scene once a year, thank you -- if even that.
One reason for that is the selection is based on something other than quality. BOMBSHELL is a classic film and one of Jean Harlow's finest. It's rarely aired on TCM. In fact, if Harlow's not teamed up with some other name actor, her films don't seem to exist on TCM. You could watch TCM for a full year and never know that Jean Harlow was someone important to films -- let alone that she was the original blonde bombshell -- someone Marilyn Monroe would pattern herself after (even using Agnes Flanagan for her hair -- Flanagan had also been responsible for Jean Harlow's platinum blond locks).
There are so many actors that TCM viewers might not realize had any impact on film. Loretta Young, for example, was a major movie star and one who was able to transfer from the silent films to the 'talking pictures.' Does anyone other than Marlo Thomas make a point to regularly note Loretta Young's contributions? (Loretta was Marlo's godmother -- Marlo was the host of the 2014 TCM tribute to Loretta.) Loretta won an Academy Award for best actress, she worked with Orson Welles, Cary Grant, Jean Harlow, Frank Capra, Mervin LeRoy, Charles Boyer, Janet Gaynor, Cecil B. DeMille, Tyrone Power, Walter Lang, David Niven, John Ford, Robert Preston, Fredric March, Alan Ladd, Geraldine Fitzgerald, Gary Cooper, Edward G. Robinson, Ethel Barrymore, Joseph Cotten, William Holden, Robert Mitchum, Celeste Holm, Van Johnson, Clark Gable (who raped her in real life), Tay Garnett and Jeff Chandler -- among others. She was part of film noir -- though that doesn't seem to register on the airtime TCM devotes to film noir.
Speaking of film noir -- Alan Ladd and Veronica Lake were a popular couple in that genre -- they made four films together but only the first, THE GLASS KEY, airs on TCM with any real regularity.
Film stars like WC Fields and Mae West are also largely absent from TCM. There's far too little Barbara Stanwyck as well. And Bob Hope largely exists -- when he exists on TCM -- as the comedic partner of Bing Crosby. Yes, the two made seven films together but Bob was hugely successful without Bing as a co-star. MY FAVORITE BRUNETTE, MY FAVORITE BLONDE, MY FAVORITE SPY, MONSIEUR BEAUCAIRE, THE LEMON DROP KID, THE PRINCESS AND THE PIRATE . . . There are a string of classic films that TCM has largely ignored. Jerry Lewis -- with and without Dean Martin -- is similarly ignored by TCM.
So one problem has been their selection which has narrowed and narrowed over the years. Another problem was what happened when they moved fully into the 80s and 90s and beyond?
TCM is a basic cable channel. Would they be able to show certain films -- R-rated ones, for example -- without offending sensibilities? That's a serious question.
Or, rather, it was.
That question is no more.
Partly because Thursday, June 2, 2020 was the day TCM died.
Oh, it's still airing. Even as we write this, it's still broadcasting.
But is it TCM? Can you call yourself "classic movies" after Thursday?
That's when TCM aired THE BLUE LAGOON -- the 1980s film. They can't seem to find Alan Ladd and Veronica Lake's THE BLUE DAHLIA, understand, but they can air Randal Kleiser's 1980 atrocity.
That's what prompted comments from friends -- including the ones we detailed at the top of the piece. Let's deal with have Edward Margulies and Stephen Rebello taken over TCM, by the way. No, they haven't. And let's note that the two never hailed THE BLUE LAGOON as a "bad movie we love." No, THE BLUE LAGOON is just a bad movie.
Sidebar, read Stephen's new book DOLLS! DOLLS! DEEP INSIDE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS -- THE MOST BELOVED BAD BOOK AND MOVIE OF ALL TIME -- it's wonderful.
But the Brooke Shields film is not wonderful. That's not really Brooke's fault. Her mother should have taught her to talk, that's true. Brooke has that helium voice in the film (when she returned to success as an adult -- starting with her guest spot on FRIENDS -- Brooke would have an adult voice). That's not what makes it an awful film. Christopher Atkins is beyond wooden -- no, that's not a joke about his jerk-off scene in the film -- and that's not what makes it an awful film.
It's a piece of crap that works either as kiddie porn or as an instructional video for sex education classes.
As a film? It's ROTTEN TOMATOES score is 9%. Does that give you an idea of how bad the film is? Hailing it as "the dumbest movie of the year," back in 1980, Roger Ebert also wondered, "Why was this movie made?"
A better question today would be: Why did TURNER CLASSIC MOVIES air it?
Grasp that, in addition to the earlier complaints about specific actors the channel ignores, they don't air a ton of films that they should.
PLAY IT AS IT LAYS springs to mind. In fact, any Tuesday Weld starrer springs to mind. Not airing Tuesday's starring films is a lot like ignoring SEANCE ON A WET AFTERNOON. Forget the heavy films, how do you ignore fun, escapist fair like 1968's WHAT'S SO BAD ABOUT FEELING SO GOOD? Or Susan Saint James and George Hamilton's hilarious LOVE AT FIRST BITE?
Films that are not staples but should be would include: IF HE HOLLERS (Barbara McNair is especially moving), THE THIEF WHO CAME TO DINNER, WHO IS KILLING THE GREAT CHEFS OF EUROPE?, ODDS AGAINST TOMORROW, Richard Lester's CUBA, NEAR DARK, THE BLACK BIRD, Robert Altman's SHORT CUTS (actually, pretty much everything of Robert Altman's should be on the channel), SCENES FROM THE CLASS STRUGGLE IN BEVERLY HILLS, 1979's THE HITTER, AN UNMARRIED WOMAN, ENEMIES A LOVE STORY, PRIZZI's HONOR, THE GRIFTERS, PRESSURE POINT, THE ROYAL TENEBAUMS, Elaine May's A NEW LEAF and Elaine May's THE HEARTBREAK KID, the Marlo Thomas and Elaine may comedy IN THE SPIRIT, SHEILA LEVINE IS DEAD AND LIVING IN NEW YORK, the original POINT BREAK, BLUE THUNDER, BUCK AND THE PREACHER, YENTL, Darnell Martin's I LIKE IT LIKE THAT, ALL THAT JAZZ, SWEET LIBERTY, THE LOST MAN, INTO THE NIGHT, THE MACK, LOOKING FOR MR. GOODBAR, DANGEROUS LIASONS, Albert Brooks' MOTHER and THE MUSE, SHOOT THE MOON, 1955's THE GIRL IN THE RED VELVET SWING, WAG THE DOG, PRICK UP YOUR EARS, JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT, GRACE OF MY HEART, WHY DO FOOLS FALL IN LOVE, SLUMS OF BEVERLY HILLS, ROUND MIDNIGHT, DEAD MEN DON'T WEAR PLAID, HOUSE SITTER, THREE THE HARD WAY, LITTLE MURDERS, THE LAST OF SHEILA, AMERICAN HOT WAX, GOODBYE, COLUMBUS, 1991's RUSH, DIARY OF A MAD HOUSEWIFE, PARTY GIRL starring Parker Posey, THE KING OF MARVIN GARDENS, 1976's SPARKLE, RESURRECTION, Gene Hackman's ALL NIGHT LONG, HE GOT GAME, SIESTA, UNDER FIRE, THE ORGANIZATION, RUMBLE FISH, DRUGSTORE COWBOY, FOUL PLAY (which AMC used to air constantly), Carl Reiner's ENTER LAUGHING, THE BINGO LONG TRAVELING ALL-STARS & MOTOR KINGS, BOYS ON THE SIDE, FLIRTING WITH DISASTER, TEA WITH MUSSOLINI, SILKWOOD, THE MIRROR HAS TWO FACES, MURDER BY DEATH, IN GOD WE TRU$T, Lee Grant's STAYING TOGETHER, I WANNA HOLD YOUR HAND, DINER, and THE WORLD, THE FLESH AND THE DEVIL -- to name just a few.
We're sure that you could come up with a list even longer.
And we'd argue that TCM has time to air everything on your list and on our list if they've got time to air THE BLUE LAGOON. It's not SHOWGIRLS -- where it has camp value. It's just an exploitation film that exploits teenagers to sell kiddie porn.
There were two shows we wanted to review this week but when TCM -- a channel for classic films -- decides to air THE BLUE LAGOON, we feel that's news -- appalling news, but news none the less. And though it's all we've heard about friends -- from dismayed friends, it's a story that the media hasn't even noticed.