Jiggle TV, for those not familiar with the genre, was a 70s form of programming. It was also sexist. We don't mean "Jiggle TV" was sexist, we mean that the term and the way it was applied was -- sexism on the part of the predominantly male critics. The term first pops up to describe the 60s show HONEY WEST which starred Anne Francis as a private detective -- a first for women. It was then applied to, most famously, CHARLIE'S ANGELS (three women as private detectives), as well as POLICE WOMAN (Angie Dickenson as a police officer), WONDER WOMAN, THREE'S COMPANY, THE AMERICAN GIRLS (two female reporters played by Debra Clinger and Priscilla Barnes), FLYING HIGH (three flight attendants played by Kathryn Witt, Connie Sellecca and Pat Kous), GET CHRISTY LOVE! (starring Teresa Graves) and even BATTLE OF THE NETWORK STARS. It's that last one that provides the indictment of sexism that many long suspected. The women on that show were said to be taking part in Jiggle TV.
You have men walking and running on TV shows and it's not Jiggle TV. Put a woman on the same type of show and suddenly it's Jiggle TV. There's no way that Lynda Carter, no matter what she wears, is not going to "jiggle" when she moves. The real 'problem' those whining "Jiggle TV" (Tom Shales, we're looking at you, pig face) had was that women were now starring as leads.
BATTLE OF THE NETWORK STARS, for those who never caught the show, had the then-three networks (ABC, CBS and NBC) competing against one another. ABC's team might offer Farrah Fawcett, Penny Marshall, Robin Williams, Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs or Jaclyn Smith, CBS might offer Telly Savalas, LeVar Burton, Valerie Bertinelli, Kevin Dobbs, or Victoria Principal, NBC might offer Greg Evigan, Robert Conrad, Michelle Phillips, Todd Bridges or William Shatner. But the criticism was always of the women. In any televised competition, no woman was going to pull a Robert Conrad and strip topless. Still, to hear the male critics (and male-centric token females) tell it, it was the women that 'jiggled' -- only the women.
"Jiggle TV" was really a slam at women becoming TV stars -- not co-stars. No guest stars, certainly. No one ever had a problem with 'jiggle' from the female guest stars on HAWAII 5-0, HARRY O, VEGAS or whatever other show you want to think of. But let women star in a TV show and suddenly "Jiggle TV" had arrived.
A woman competing in an athletic competition, for these Tom Shayles pricks, was "jiggle TV." Now Farrah Fawcett and Penny Marshall, to name only two, were actually very good athletes. This was never noted by the Tom Shales pig boys.
Looking back, we really need to question these men and what their commentary said and popularized. Were the women 'asking for it'? Weren't these men just really attacking the actresses for what they wore?
Again, Lynda Carter's going to jiggle anytime she runs. That's anatomy. Why are we condemning her for that?
Ask Tom Shales to answer that question. We're sure a male-centric panel is eager to award him another Pulitizer for sexism, so let him write his mea culpa. Let him justify the years of damage he's done to women in TV with his sexist notions that THE WASHINGTON POST printed, that NPR amplified.
And let him deal with is own sexual panic as the penis protrudes on TV today.
Last week, on THE CW's DYNASTY, Sam (Rafael de la Fuente) sat down at the breakfast table in a loose fitting robe and Fallon (Elizabeth Gillies) had to tell him to "put the judge back in his chambers." That's a little more on the nose than Juliet (Perdita Weeks) telling Thomas Magnumm (Jay Hernandez) that he needs a "bigger gun" on last week's MAGNUM P.I. That sort of single-entendre (don't pretend it's double) has been present since the 90s. And everyone wants in on that. Even a really bad series like AMAZON's MODERN LOVE (all episodes dropped last Friday) tries to get in on that such as in the Tina Fey episode -- an episode that's neither touching or funny -- where her son gets hit in the crotch with a ball on the tennis court. "She hit me in my penis," he yells. And Tina's big concern, "Could we stop saying penis on the public courts, please?" It's all too much for Tina and for this inspide wanna-be Woody Allen series that's all surface and early workshop -- as though everyone involved saw it as a working vacation in New York. Far better is Paul Rudd's NETFLIX series, LIVING WITH YOURSELF, which also debuted Friday and whose most talked about moment involves Paul's character Miles (original, not cloned) visiting a low rent 'massage' parlor only to see Tom Brady existing with a smile from his own happy ending.
The cock was popping up all over last week and often standing at attention. In fact, some might argue this trend reached its culmination Saturday night on HBO's THE RIGHTEOUS GEMSTONE when Kelvin (Adam DeVine) rescued Keefe (Tony Cavalero) at a club where he was "The Baby" floating in a vat of fluid, wearing a rubber suit that covered everything but his much on display erect penis. Even when Kelvin cradled Keefe, there was Keefe's staff bobbing all around in the shot.
For us, though, TREADSTONE was the big moment in The Cock Chronicles last week. There was Jeremy Irvine playing a character coming out of the control he was programmed in and realizing he had to get out of the mad laboratory he was in. He shot a man and thought he could escape but guards were all around. He ended up running into a room where others placed under control and then killed were housed. He ended up tossing one of those corpses -- dressed in his own clothes -- out the window, several floors below so those pursuing him would think he had jumped out the window. Though many fell for it, one woman didn't and they battled before he ran off in his loose fitting boxer briefs. He ended up on a roof, then, still pursued, jumped to another and another. Each leap, each step in fact, had Jeremy Junior hopping in the front of those shorts. As he was pursued, we shouted, "Don't kill off underwear boy!"
He made an impression. And then some.
Jiggle TV was "porn'' and worse according to The Water Cooler Set of the 70s. What these so-called critics were really objecting to was women being placed in starring roles. All these years later, it may shock them to grasp this but men's bodies? They jiggle too. And they jiggled a hell of a lot last week