The economy is still in the toilet, people still need jobs but, rest assured Americans, Barack is on the job!
Last week at Whiteman Air Force Base, MO, the president batted away a rouge Tribble with his bare hands.
The Tribble, thought to have traveled to the United States on Orbitz flight from North Korea, was purring but Barack was having none of it. He knows how quickly the Tribbles reproduce and how they have decimated the food supply in North Korea.
"He is a hero!" insisted professional groupie Melissa Harris-Lacewell-Perry while shopping at a sexual gadgets store where she was "buying another of what I like to call my Barack Joy Sticks."
Many other equally insane people agreed with the groupie.
And the United States was saved from the Tribble menace, at least for now.